I have 8 hour shifts w/caregivers for my Mom. Mom naps a lot. My Mom has Alzheimer's (approaching middle stage). Memory issues affect her ability to prepare food. When I can't care for her (I'm the daughter), we have an agency provide caregivers in 8 hour shifts, 11am-7pm to cover meal issues. The rest of the time Mom does a few household tasks and naps a lot. Sometimes she wants help w/chores, sometimes not. She does need some help. But in an 8 hour shift, 7 days a week there is only so much cleaning a person can do. When she's awake they are active with her (we have watchful neighbors). My Mom also gets upset if they disturb her by doing things while she's asleep. I drop in unannounced a lot to check on her. We have 2-3 regular caregivers. I have found all at one time or another asleep in the same room as my Mom, while she napped. She generally sleeps soundly. Sometimes she talks about them sleeping and it bothers her. My gut reaction is anger, but I've slept while Mom napped. Should I be upset? Should I talk to them? Talk to the agency? I like the agency and caregivers. We have had consistency, no theft, no abuse, active participation to keep my Mom active. Confused, frustrated, and maybe a bit guilty. Please give me some guidance
When I do get really tired and need to sleep, I do a power nap. I even have my cell phones set to ring for 15 minutes later. That's a short enough nap to prevent me from going into deep sleep but enough time time to energize me.
On one such occasion, I stayed over at the home sure enough, the night nurse was in Pat's room.... When I awoke to the sound of Pat's walker in the hall!
Now, I'm in the Living room of my own ALF home, so I'm comfortable. The nurse is being paid more per hour by far than I make as the owner, by the Hospice agency/Medicare, and she is the Night nurse, supposedly there to Watch Over the patient, take notes, be there Whatever she needs. Pat's no shrinking violet, so knowing her, I imagine she did call out to the lady before getting up and going on her own to the bathroom next to her bedroom.
I immediately knew the sound of Pat's walker and her labored breathing and I Ran down the hall.
Smiling, I put my arm around my dear friend's shoulder, and said, "You should call the nurse, that's what she's there for, but let me help you." Then I paused long enough to identify the sound of loud snoring from the room...
Pat shook her silver curls, smiled back at me, "Bless your heart, sweetie, you know me... I practically hollered at that woman, but she's out cold." After I got Pat seated on the commode, I said, "I'll give you a minute, while I go apply cold water", which brought a chuckle. Shaking her head, Pat murmured, "Honey, you know you're All Bark and No Bite!"
I went into the room and here was the nurse in the comfy recliner, light on, mouth open, snoring loudly. "Miss!, Excuse me, Hello, Nurse!" I too practically shouted at this woman, and she slept on. Finally I shook her knee, no response and again both called out to her And shook her knee. She sat up and said, "Oh, she's ok, she's asleep..." Her gaze shifted to the bed, and she said, "Oh, where is she?! She crept out silently." Sure she did....
I didn't scold but said I thought the agency told me the night person would be awake. The next day I called them and said please do not send back the person from last night.
And as for anyone not being conscious, I always watch what is said in their proximity. I've seen many an agency caregiver and even nurses, talking about a person with dementia right in front of them, and that's rude.
I agree with those who say the caregiver there only 8 hours, should probably do some quiet chores in another room, or at least put music on to soothe your mom (music does So Much for those with dementia/Alzheimer's) and if she is there with mom, and it's boring, do bring a book, pay bills on her laptop, whatever it takes to while away time if she can't be productive during that time.
That's what I'd do
I am not hard to wake up, so that is where I am coming from. If a caregiver is asleep for hours, that is a different story. I take care of my granddaughter. I sleep when she does.
A humidifier makes quite a bit of noise and is beneficial in what are often overly heated rooms, for the elders. A fan in summer.
My mother sleeps with her T.V. turned up to 11, so nothing bothers HER. Drives me to distraction, but oh well.
you expect an employee working an 8-hr shift at a bank or a retail store to fall asleep during the day? If they know your Mom naps a lot, they should bring along something to read or work on when she does sleep, but for heavens sake, stay awake while doing it! We've had helpers with my Mom for 3 yrs. now, and one "nods off" a lot - to the point we've had to nearly shout to wake her, as Mom has gotten up and tried to walk by herself. Obviously, we've never left this one alone with her! Mom has Alzheimer's and doesn't remember she's in her own house, so my sister and I are there (from out of town) on a "rotation" basis to keep the household stuff going (groceries, cooking meals, laundry, etc). We have caregivers for Mom so we can do that as well as errands outside the house, but need to know they're alert and watchful, since Mom can't walk on her own, but will try to stand up and go. All we need is another fall and hip break and we're back to square one of a long journey bringing Mom back from rehab, then, when pneumonia developed, assisted care (where she dropped from 130 down to 90 lbs.), and back home, where we've worked to get her back up to 118 lbs with the help and attentive care of 2 wonderful caregivers (of our 3 - the "sleeper," who's about to be dismissed, as last week I walked into the den from the laundry room and found her asleep and my Mom not in the room with her!!) A little panic could help you make your decision!
she had a stroke last month. They are treated like family and they in turn give the loving care that my mom is used to. So be more understanding with your caregivers so they don't have to look over their shoulder. This will give you peace of mind too. Good luck! You are a good daughter to care so much!
As long as she is napping and not in a dead sleep, gets up when your mother calls I say it is ok. What is the difference between napping and doing a activity such as reading, knitting, or watching TV.
If it bothers you to the point of anger, sit her down and let her know there is no napping on the job. Tell them to bring a book.
Regarding the caregiver sleeping on the job. It would be MY preference if they did not. But to be realistic, there's a likelihood the caregivers may be working more than one job to make ends meet and if they've accomplished the tasks for their shift and your mother is napping herself, I don't really see the harm in it. In exchange for being allowed to nap when your mother is napping, perhaps the caregiver would be agreeable to your mother ringing a bell if she awakens and needs assistance.
Most importantly, YOU have to accept the fact that you are doing the best you can for your mother. We all want an ideal situation for those we love and when things don't go perfectly, the feelings of frustration, confusion, and guilt are natural.