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I would ask what you hope to get from the experience. I'm a deep believer in low expectations with damaged relationships. If it is your wish to say goodbye in person for yourself and your own well being then make the journey. If you are going with the hope of meeting a better version of your sibling you may be disappointed. I've heard folks say its important to resolve problems and offer forgiveness while alive as if regret is waiting if you don't "forgive" but I've not seen that final visit resolve the years of pain and abuse for my dear ones. My thought is you choose how you want your story written. Forgiveness in my mind represents someone not just apologizing and expressing remorse but actively changing the behavior in good faith. She can't do that for you unless you think you only need a few words to erase the history between you or no words at all and you just accept her as a deeply flawed person and forgiveness is not required to say goodbye.
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