Actually this is a thank you and an ask to everyone who has helped me through these last couple years. My grandpa passed from a brainstem infarct last week. Hospice was called and it was a very peaceful transition. He was a very stubborn marine and I honestly didnt believe the docs when they said he would not recover. I feel comforted that I was able to stay with him although he was unresponsive for 4 days. I followed his living will as he directed and they made it so much easier. I talked to him each day and the last night when we were alone I told him that no matter what had happened I would always love him and he could stop fighting, he passed within 10 min. I am at a loss on what to do now. I know I need to reach out to social security, his pension holder and the VA as he was a disabled veteran but won't I need the death certificate for that? He didnt pass in his MC facility or the hospital so I don't think they would notify anyone. I also need to close out his accounts and will most likely need it for that too I imagine. My mind is still in a fog of the fight/flight that I have been in for the last 5-7 years while dealing with his dementia and all that came with it, but I am sure when it becomes quiet it will really sink in. Thanks to everyone who took the time to give me such thoughtful responses when I was unsure where to turn.
I know that feeling of what now? As mentioned, the funeral home is where you get the death certificates, I asked for ten as I was unaware of the contacts to be made. I'm not sure but I think there's a waiting period for when you can receive anything of value as they want to make sure his debt is paid. I know that when my Mom passed away late in the year, I was responsible for making sure her taxes were filed. She had some 401k that she cashed out previously to help for her MC and by the time it came to taxes she owed $6,500.00. She had 10 months of rent credit due to her but the state said it doesn't become part of the inheritance and kept it. Don't ask, I live in MN,who knows where they get off!
I'm sure he's set up for burial being in the service, check with the VA.
Right now, it's going to be foggy and remembering comes like a flood. Remember, you didn't come this far to be defeated now. You can't go back and you shouldn't feel guilty for anything,be happy that he's not suffering anymore. I know for about two weeks I was rapped up making funeral arrangements and the obituary was kept short and sweet as it's pretty expensive. I ordered prayer cards online through the funeral home and I thought more people would have shown and they took 50 out of 150 cards. I over spent on the luncheon,too. Luckily, my mom's good friend showed and took what was left for needy families. I was so busy, I had no time to mourn and I didn't cry at the funeral. I was happy for her as you should be, don't wallow in the emotions, you did what you could and being a caregiver is a thankless job.
I broke down a year later at a memorial service as I felt sorry for myself and missed her dearly.
You're on the last leg of a very long journey with a new one to begin, give it some time for you to adjust. Grief is a very strong emotion and should be taken in small steps, it's not easy to get on with the life you had,lost and got back again. In a bizarre way, caregivers are part of recycling. We go around until we can be of use again,full circle. Good journey ❤️❤️ ❤️ ❤️
In his Will, did he name a funeral home? Or have a pre-paid cremation policy? The next step is to contact the funeral home or crematorium. They are the ones that will notify SS and ask you how many copies of the Death Certificate you want (they usually give you some free ones).
Then you need to figure out if his estate needs to go through probate or not. It may not matter that everything goes to you, if probatable assets are above a certain value, and depending on the state of residency, then probate may be necessary. You may want to consult with an estate attorney to figure out this process. You may need to apply through the court as Personal Representative to have the authority to open an estate checking account during the probate period.
It may be worthwhile to consult with a professional for 1 hour.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
His April Social Security deposit is actually his March payment. He is entitled to this payment if he died in April. If they claw it back or cancel the April deposit call them. He is entitled to that payment. He will not get a deposit for May.
As said, POA stops at death. If there is a Will and an Executor, that person will take over. If no Will or Executor, you may need to go to Probate and get a short certificate to be able to handle your grandfathers accounts and outstanding bills. You will be an Administer. Probate will give you a list of what needs to be done. If he has no Will, the State will determine who inherits.
He does not outright own anything besides a truck which in the will states it goes to me, his bank account is basically non existent as he was living in a nice MC facility that was pricey. He got a SS check on 3/27 and passed on 4/1 at 9:53pm.
About handling the technicalities, I hope others will chime in here as I find my mind is kind of a blur as I try to recall what happened after my father passed away on hospice. However, I do believe part of hospice’s services is notifying the county of the death. You could also reach out to the hospice directly about what they recommend you do.
Thinking of you.