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Hello my father who is 80 and has a live in girlfriend 66.She has had multiple relationships behind his back.For the first time my kids& I were not invited Thanksgiving& Christmas.This woman verbally abuses me when my father isn’t around.Recently she blocked me on his phone.We had lunch plans so I thought I better check on him.He was there got in my car asking why I never called.I told him hand yr phone to my son yes indeed she blocked my number.He will blame himself he must of did it.Mind you he doesn’t know what blocking is.Theres many stories here.We had to go to a birthday party the other day and we had to go together because that is what he wanted.All went well till we got back he went inside she asked to hug me goodbye and in my ear she says your a very very mean person and the worst daughter ever.I got in my car and cried all the way home.He called a day later I told him what happened calmly.He replied I don’t care about that she never said nothing to me.He than ignores as he usually does and said let me kno when we can go to the market.I said dad this isn’t ok,he says ignore it.Im done my heart aches and mentally I cannot take anymore.Im scared for his life with this lady.Thanx for reading

She's using him, obviously -- and he doesn't care for whatever reason. If you aren't his PoA you pretty much have no power in this situation unless you want to fight him over his Sugar Baby situationship.

If you are his PoA then I would see an elder law attorney asap and do whatever it takes to get the PoA active and then move to protect his finances. Sugar Baby is after his money, of course. Lord knows what she says to him when you're not there. But if your Dad doesn't have any cognitive impairment, you can't do anything, not even report him to APS

I would not lift a finger for him since he's got his GF. Make excuses why you can't take him, then ask why his GF isn't taking him.

Depending on how vested you are in getting her out of his life and house, one tactic I read about is for you to move in and make *her* life miserable.. It's extreme, but then again what's going to happen when she sucks every penny out of him, disappears and then he needs a caregiver? Hopefully she won't convince him to sign the house over to him -- and don't think she isn't gonna try this. You can't pay for that, nor should you. You shouldn't move him in with you or you with him.

Another possibility is to hire a private detective to see if she has a criminal record or warrants, or anything else that can be used for leverage.

I hope he doesn't decide to marry her or it's truly over.
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Sounds to me like a Gold Digger after Dad's money. A 66 yr old woman wouldn't date an 80 year old guy for "love". That's a 14 year age gap. Why not ask her in front of Dad, "Why do you keep blocking my number on his phone?"

These types are looking out for themselves, since people who have nothing to hide....HIDE NOTHING. No sincere GF would keep Dad from his family for holidays.
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When you go to see him, go confidently. Don't be intimidated by her. She wants to upset you. Don't let her. Don't drag your dad into it. Don't force him to choose. Just go about your normal socializing with him. She wants to drive you away. If she blocks the phone, calmly unblock it next time. When you get upset, she wins. You can keep an eye out for any signs of isolating him, neglect, or financial abuse, but don't make any accusations unless you have proof.
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SunnyRose Apr 13, 2026
Thank you
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Stop accepting this at all. Assuming dad has a sound mind he’s choosing to have this woman in his life. It doesn’t mean you take her manipulation and abuse. You either take a load of time and effort to build an elderly abuse case, one you only might win since dad will likely defend her, or you choose to protect yourself. It will be incredibly sad to back away from dad, but if that’s what’s required to not have you continually hurt, so be it. Tell dad that’s the last thing you want, but you will not take the whispering and manipulating. He’s not the first man to choose a woman offer his adult children, hurtful as it is
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Is your father still competent? Or does he have a diagnosis of some kind of dementia or cognitive decline?
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SunnyRose Apr 13, 2026
No he doesn’t but the last 2 weeks he seems distraught.2 years ago his sister died and he was depressed sick lost 18lbs.The girlfriend didn’t take him to the dr and she was giving him sleeping pills.We went and took him to emergency
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See a lawyer and find out what you can do about suspected elder abuse. Make sure you have some proof, not just "she whispered in my ear." If you have access to his bank accounts and she's using them, take proof with you to the attorney.

If you don't have proof, start gathering it. You can take pictures with your cell phone of his checkbook, his bank statements, things around the house that show her control or abuse of him. She is intimidating you! You don't have to take it! Don't let her whisper to you. Anything she has to say can be said in front of everyone, so tell her that. Refuse to be included in plans even though your father wants you all to seem like one happy family. He is not king of the world, he's allowing her to hurt you, and you don't have to accept that.

If it means you only see him when he's without Cuddle Fluff, so be it. Ditto if it means you don't see him at all. I don't understand why you'd want to perpetuate a relationship that undermines YOU. Even rats quit running when they keep hitting the wall! You could too.

Let us know how it goes with the lawyer, and good luck.
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SunnyRose Apr 13, 2026
Thank you so much!
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