I have been caring for dad ever since he was discharged from hospital back in December. He is no longer independent with his self care and has been totally dependent on me. I have come to realize he will not be same as before. He needs help with dress toilet and shower and it’s not hard on myself. What is hard for me is trying to control my anxiety of thinking what if he deteriorates and I no longer can care for him. I am depressed and feel sorry all the time that his days are only occupied by sleeping and eating. I feel so sad thinking about his state. I don’t know how to get rid of this feeling or be of more help. I just want him to have some qualify of life. I hope that he is ok with his state and not feel self pity. I am here 24/7 making sure all his needs are met and I don’t know what else to do to make him feel happier with life. I am constantly sad and worried.
Glad you are writing to us.
You need to figure how what you can do NOW to make changes.
What is your / his financial situation?
- What can he afford?
- Find out what Medi-Care or other - Is he entitled to Medi-Cal?
* Enlist the support of a social worker
* You DO NOT want to be on 24/7. You will burn out - as you are doing.
You cannot continue on like this.
With support, find out what his health care / financial options are.
Then, make a decision from there.
Realize that you do not need to do this 24/7.
You can be there as you can - although if you do not take care of your own well-being / health, you will not be there for yourself or him.
Please get in therapy and a support group. Call County (Senior Services) and see what is available to you locally.
Rather than control your anxiety and all the other pent up feelings and emotions you have, you need to get them OUT. Stuffing them in will back-fire on you.
Find out how to manage your anxiety (i.e., meditation, deep controlled conscious breathing, exercise). We understand ... many of us have been there - or here - now. We manage we best we can.
You cannot continue on like this. Find out what resources are available to yourself and him.
Gena / Touch Matters