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He can do it himself, but does not want any help. It is a big shower with a chair and grab bars. It is now 4 weeks and he tells me every day he will do it, but he just doesn’t do it. I am at the end asking.



burned out

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Time for an Aide to help him.

Can't say he will want that option either.. but compromise IS good. Maybe negotiate how many a week (ie 2-3). You may want to live with a nice clean man & prefer him to shower 7 days a week, he may want 0 - avoiding all showers because it has become too hard/too exhausting/fear/pride etc.

Find a reasonable compromise, safe, with a trained Aide, grab rails & a shower chair .

Next step to that is NH with 2 Aides in shower or to do a bed bath.

🤞 Fingers crossed for you that he is not too stubborn!
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Dunningen36, when it comes to baths/showers for someone who is older, it is like going to the gym for a work out. Even I find it very tiring and I am in my 70’s. Then throw into the mix health and/or mobility issues.

Some people become claustrophobic when in a shower. Especially if there are glass doors. Keeping the far shower door opened a bit may help. Sitting in the tub works but it is a major chore getting in to sit down, and more so trying to get up :P

Then there is the fear of falling. If your love one is using a moisturizing liquid soap and/or hair conditioners, it will make the floor of the tub/shower feel like an ice rink, even with a tub mat inside. 

A person doesn't need to shower daily, once a week is good enough, unless one is doing hard labor [long ago, Saturday night was bath night]. If a love one is a Depends wearer, baby wipes work quite well between showers. Recently I found a product called “Water Wipes” in the baby section, quite pleased with the product.
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Take a shower with him?
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Forget about the immersion showers and use no rinse products.  They're wonderful!   I learned about them when my father was in rehab, and used them when I had an appendectomy.

They're very refreshing, easy to apply, and can be down w/o completely disrobing.   Your husband could even "bathe" while sitting in a favorite chair listening to favorite music.

Sometimes what appears to be procrastination is discomfort, with some aspect of disrobing, getting cold (a big concern) or other issues.

One product:

http://cleanlifeproducts.com/

There are lots of other products, found in the shampoo section of stores, or at drug stores.
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