I just spoke to my mother, and she sounds miserable. My mom has always been extroverted, and my sister keeps her away from everyone. It feels as if she is waiting for her to die. I'm trying to get my Mom out of her home. I can't afford an attorney, so I am doing much legal work. Can someone provide me some insight on how to show proof of the above?
With all her issues and now a broken hip, it may very well feel like your sister is waiting for her to die. Caring for her must be very difficult. Does she want to continue doing so? If not, time to find proper placement for her.
What going on due to her hip? Did she have surgery? If so, I'd talk to staff and see if she can go to rehab. MUCH better than going home since they will work with her a lot and get her back on her feet.
Best of luck.
If you aren't planning to take your mom in, be sure to find a good home for her. Most conventional facilities are warehouses - but maybe they would be better than your sister's home???
There are lots of questions.
Get some help: https://agencyonaging4.org/services-by-category/
I would also probably get a competent elder law attorney involved whatever the cost -- at least a consultation. See https://www.naela.org/
p.s. I'm unclear why people are saying your mother has dementia. In any case, there are many kinds of dementia, and it is irresponsible for someone to say what your mom says cannot be relied on. That is what facilities say to excuse themselves from their rampant neglect. Only someone close to her and compassionate, with training in dementia, can assess the situation most accurately (and sometimes even they are wrong).
Reading your other post it seems that you are not happy with your sister and that is the real issue.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/mom-suffered-from-a-broken-hip-after-falling-out-of-her-bed-i-received-two-stories-from-my-sister-an-484764.htm
Is your mom completely competent or is she suffering from dementia?
How long have you and Sister been at war over your mother?
IF you have solid reason to suspect abuse then you can call APS and ask them to visit and assess, letting them know you currently are forbidden from visiting yourself and you suspect abuse.
I would try to visit your mom, cause the least amount of upset for your sister, niece and mom, even if you have to let stuff roll off your back, because 24/7/365 care of an elder with dementia is taxing enough without family that isn't involved in the day to day caregiving coming in and slinging criticism and judgment. Not saying you are but, your posts don't indicate that you are hands on caring and you do say nobody wants to go to Lisa's to visit because of drama.
If your mom is truly in danger, call 911 and get her removed, otherwise, tread carefully, for your moms sake. She needs you all to consider what is the best for her in reality, not her demented reality.
Copied from another post by Sabrina:
My niece and her mother (my younger sister) have made it impossible for my other two siblings and me to see my mom. They have had so many excuses. In the past, every time we wanted to come together, Lisa created chaos and erratic behavior in front of my Mom, which is why we (family members and friends) don't want to go over to Lisa's house
If you want to prove your sister is abusing her, you'd have to HAVE some actual evidence of such abuse and then start building a case against her. You cannot go on "feelings" or hunches alone.
That your sister who holds POA for mom is not giving you medical info or allowing you to see her all the time does not constitute "abuse". Your sister is providing the hands on caregiving for mom which is not an easy task so there may be more to this situation than you are aware of.
Your best bet is to try and speak with your sister about how mom is doing and ask her if she needs any help from you. Maybe then she will open up a bit and let you in.
Otherwise, find an elder care attorney to speak with about all of this. Most of them offer a free consultation up front.