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I would take your Dad for an eye examination. Something similar happened to my LO and it became obvious she couldn't see.
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Also there are definite cognitive changes and movement disorders in the elderly that prevent them being able to wipe "behind" where they can't see.
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Tawheed1: This malady needs immediate remediation. So toxic is this environment strewn with feces practically EVERYWHERE in the home and on the elders that there exists zero methodology for you to keep cleaning as it is a futile effort! Both your father and your mother will have to opt for managed care facility living. Your father's thought process is very skewed as he was UNAWARE that he was covered in feces, either by visual inspection with his own eyes or by malodor.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2022
You are right, Llamalover. Cleaning it up will not do any good. The parents are no longer able to manage living independently. They should also be in diapers now as well as full time care.
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This will work only if you can keep the person sitting on the toilet. Maybe a camera in the bathroom ( for patient’s safety) to allow the caregiver to stand and watch from the hallway when the person appears finished. At that time, you could rush in and use another device before the patient gets off the toilet…a bidet. There are many on the market and sure would offer cleanliness. Sounds like a lot of work or lack of privacy. Not really. People do as many surveillance strategies for infants and toddlers. Mom and Dad can get to that point and need constant monitoring.
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BurntCaregiver Sep 2022
If there's crap smeared all over them and all the surfaces in the house, they are beyond the point of surveillance strategies.
They cannot toilet themselves independently anymore.
How long does the adult child (the OP) have to spend their life 'rushing in' to clean up the parents' crap? That's not a realistic expectation to have of anyone. They should start looking at a managed care facility.
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Your mother is not the only one with dementia here. Your father has it too.
The smearing of crap all over the place and on the person themselves is not unusual with dementia.
I've had many homecare clients who did this.
Your parents have to be placed in AL or managed care, or they need a live-in caregiver who will toilet them both and clean the bathroom continually. They cannot be allowed to live alone without supervision anymore. Neither of them possesses the mental ability to handle the activities of daily life independently anymore. Crap smeared all over the place in only the beginning.
Their feelings and not embarrassing them really isn't important at this point. Their living environment is a biohazard. A danger to them both and to anyone else in the house.
If you don't have POA or conservatorship over them, petition the probate court in their area to get it.
Then speak to the state's department of social services and ask them what their options are.
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