Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
If you mom doesn't really remember these people, put them on a list of non-allowed visitors.
Helpful Answer (5)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
Good suggestion!
(1)
Report
im sure your mom night look like she needs clothes because she wears the same thing everyday. With a closet full of clothes. You understand. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report
NeedHelpWithMom Oct 2019
True, sometimes people have nicer clothes in their closet but they just want to be comfortable in their favorite older clothes.
(1)
Report
Shortyhan, I was one of those "judgey" people. Years ago my good friend's mother was diagnosed with early onset ALZ. She was in her 50's and an absolutely fantastic wife, mother and grandmother. Her husband was also a saintly man, 2 peas in a pod, both exemplary pillars of our church. Over the course of the years I would see him walking with her in town, him leading her by the hand and she, just trusting and following, not really comprehending the activity and environment. Eventually, she had to go into 24/7 facility care. While he was regularly visiting her there, he became friends with a woman whose husband was on the same floor, in the same situation with ALZ. They started seeing each other and then dating. My friend and his siblings and family were incredulous, outraged and disgusted, as was I. How could he do that to...me! I was projecting myself in the place of the wife, feeling like my husband was cheating, and being replaced. Instead I should have been sympathizing with her husband and all the devoted, tireless, lonely, loving care he had given to her over many years. My friend's mother has passed and the family has worked through their emotions and now their father is married to this woman -- and happy, as he deserves to be -- and probably as his first wife would have wanted.
Helpful Answer (9)
Report

I have read the other great replies and there is nothing profound that I can add. I just want to give you a big cyber hug and commend you for your maturity and openness, plus you are positive even when describing the outsiders sorta butting in with your Mother. Awww, no one knows what happens in each family except those involved. All of you have been through a very traumatic time if your Mom was to the point of oblivion and not knowing if she was using the restroom on herself and walking around naked. Bless her and bless you and your Dad and sister. Those times had to be very hard on all of you. Keep your head up and take care of yourself and sis. I am glad your Dad has someone he can share things with for he had to be lonely. You might talk to your sister and make sure she understands that Dads new lady may or may not be a permanent thing. I can think that all of you could get very attached to a wonderful person that has all her faculties and then something not working out later. Y’all would experience another big loss. I pray that this won’t happen and we, as humans, just want to love and be loved. Life is all about overcoming obstacles while smelling the flowers along the way. Hugs!!!! You are sweet and a good daughter. Try not to worry. Easier said than done, I know.
Helpful Answer (3)
Report

Shortyhan, you have received some wonderful suggestions from many people and I cannot add anything to that.

I am a very polite, "don't rock the boat" type of person but I must admit, my first reaction on reading your post was "Give them something to be REALLY offended about and tell them, with a smile on your face, "Go fxxk yourselves." Wouldn't it be lovely to see their faces!

P.S. I know some people will be offended by what I have written, but how many of you also thought and have (possibly) wanted to say the same thing to pontificating"do gooders" who think that they are the only ones who have an opinion (on anything and everything) under the guise of "helping"

Good luck with your situation. I know what it is like to be on the receiving end of these types of nasty judgments.
Helpful Answer (6)
Report
Takincare Oct 2019
You said a mouthful!
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter