Hi everyone, this is my first post, I hope I'll be able to contribute here, but I'll start with looking for help.
So my mother has lumbar onset ALS, pretty advanced now, she's basically complete dependent on other people. Those people are me, and her 90 yo mother.
My mom also has depression and few other health issues, but the ALS is obviously the most impactful. She, however (and understandably) doesn't want to die, to the point of not wanting to make any changes to the house, like some small remodeling, getting a nice electric bed, or anything like that. She believes that getting such items is "succumbing to the illness" and as she's heavily religious, she considers that to be proof of not believing in the miracle that obviously will happen any day now (sorry for cynicism).
The problem is that the current arrangement isn't the friendliest to my back, and basically no outside help will agree to replace me (at home) - I'm a large and strong guy and I sometimes struggle.
Whenever I bring out this topic I get a temper tantrum, and I usually hear that I don't really care for her, I just want her to day, or in better days, that I don't believe that she'll be healed hard enough (which is another topic anyway).
She always was somewhat "emotionally abusive", I realized that not long before the illness, that she was basically blackmailing me with her love/hate throughout my life. I've dealt with that a bit, but the mechanisms are still there and it's not easy to deal with them everyday.
I wonder if anyone here is/was in similar situation, and what are your suggestions? I'd appreciate any help or even a nice word (I'll just happily commiserate too), as I'm at my wit's end.
What does your grandmother do for her?
And what if you sustain an injury and can no longer assist?
As a religiously devoted person, I think your mother should be showing more regard for the 'living angel' tending her needs while awaiting her anticipated miracle.
Stand firm for the tools you require.
As far as her spiritual belief that having "enough faith" is the only precursor to divine healing: ask her why Paul the Apostle was allowed to suffer with the "thorn in his side" (from some sort of illness or disease) all the while he was evangelizing and discipling? And not to mention all the physical persecutions he endured (like whippings, etc.)? Is she saying even he didn't have enough faith? If so then there's no hope for the rest of us believers.
2 Cor 12:7-10 (Paul writing to the church in Corinth)
"Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh... Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I hope this helps. Welcome to the forum!