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My wife is no longer allowing me to help her so I am thinking of moving her to a facility. What alternatives do I have to get her there?

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The director of the place you choose will be able to give you guidance on how to facilitate moving day. You will likely be able to bring items from home in advance to make her room look more comfortable and familiar. It might be advised to go for lunch together and then you leave after lunch, with staff helping your wife get settled. Rely on the director and staff for help, they have experienced this transition many times. I wish you peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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See an Elder lawyer first. You need to divide funds so your wife's portion pays for a facility for her, and your half is for paying for your own costs.

Your alternatives are either divide your funds and get her placed, or continue to suffer with a stubborn Senior. Look for places nearby that she may like. I would guess Memory Care, which is pricey but the place that deals with stubborn patients.. She won't qualify for Assisted Living, which is very EXPENSIVE.

What exactly does she "refuse your help" with? That will tell you where she needs to be. When you find a place, tell her a "theraputic fib" that the water main/electrical transformer is broken on your street, there will be daily LOUD construction for several months, so you found her a nice place to stay until they finish the job. You will be staying home to "supervise" the construction at your home, but will come see her every day of course.

Good luck with this one!
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Reply to Dawn88
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You need to first see an Elder Lawyer to split your assets. Her split will go to her care in a facility. When the money is almost gone, Medicaid can be applied for. (Usually 60 to 90 days before money runs out) once she is on Medicaid, you can remain in the home have one car and have all or part of your monthly income to live on.

If your assets are under what your state allows for Medicaid and all you have is your monthly income you can apply for Medicaid but she will need to be placed in a LTC facility. Assisted Livings and Memory cares do not usually except Medicaid. In my State you need to pay privately for at least 2 years to switch to Medicaid.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Your first step is to tour facilities and choose your top one or two. Then you work with their representative, who will be probably the same person who took you on your tour, to discuss what exactly you need to move your wife in. When I moved my mom I needed: diagnosis from the doctor, a long form required by her state to be filled out by me and signed my her doctor, an in-person evaluation by a representative from her facility (they came to her and I told her it was a social worker from the doctor who goes to everyone's house to check on them) and finally a TB test.

As for the actual moving I showed up at her house and told her the city had to tear up her water line because it was broken, and I had rented her an apartment while that work was done, and loaded her in the car of her friend who came to help. Friend drove her to the facility and they had lunch there while I franticly moved her living room furniture, clothes I packed, etc. into the apartment so it would be set up just like home.
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Reply to Slartibartfast
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