I am so sick of only hearing about elderly topics! Anyone else feel this way?
So tired of hearing about bowel movements, having to pee constantly, thinning hair, not being able hear well, on and on and on, not being able to walk well, etc. I care but my God, it is so hard to only hear about these things.
Nothing interesting. If I try to redirect to a different topic somehow the conversation ends up being about poo again! Geeeeez, there is only so much poo I want to hear about! Enough already.
I try to read or watch tv to relax and she will sit by me and do this over and over. If I walk off and go to my room she will complain later. You'd think she would take the hint if I walk off. I'm not going to tell her that I don't want to talk about her bowel situation because it won't do any good and she will just ignore me or insult me. I think she likes if I object to something. She considers it a goal that she has achieved so I don't react as much but inside I am screaming silently. Anyone else feel this way?
I feel your pain!
Haha, My mom it's The Young and the Restless! Oh my gosh, anything and everything happens on those soaps! My grandma used to listen to The Guiding Light on the radio before it was televised. Too funny!
My grandfather watched the old westerns. Gotta say, Clint Eastwood in those old westerns was so good looking! Saw him years ago when we went to Hog's Breath Inn in Carmel, CA. Wanted to eat at his place while vacationing there and he was hanging out by the bar, very laid back in jeans and a t-shirt. My God, that was so long ago, my traveling days! I didn't even have kids then. My husband traveled so much for work and back then the airlines were very competitive and gave great promos. He traveled internationally quite often and he racked up enough points for us to fly first class. Those days are gone!
Did he see your earbuds? That's funny.
The horror--
The horror--
i find as I get older that all people want to talk about. Their aches and pains. Stomach and bowels
i just cut them off and say “if this is going to be about your bowels I don’t want to know”
Poo is a huge topic in my house! Geeeez, I never knew I would hear so much about poo, just crazy!
Yes, the pain is a big topic! That breaks my heart. I feel my chest getting tight because I hate that her knees hurt and of course at 93 she can't do knee surgery or any other surgery at this point. Shoulder issues too. Pain is awful for them. Doctor said Aspercreme. Not sure how much that really helps though. She says she can feel the bone on bone thing in her knees and has very limited range of motion with her shoulder issue.
She was right. Somehow I couldn’t say that to my kids. I feel it would make me feel like I was laying a guilt trip on them. Last thing I would want to do to them. Even if the statement was true about missing someone.
Old geezer talking loud, like they do, about having 12 feet of his colon removed:
I finally put my half finished plate on his table and said,” I give up, you eat it!”
Geeeez, sounds like my husband’s grandma. She used to talk about her bowels when I took her out to eat. I learned never to ask her how she was feeling before eating!
So many boring boring conversations. I am at my wits end. Plus it seems like she's getting more frustrated and angry and practically delusional. She thinks she can do things physically that there's just no way. I'm thinking - WHAT??? Are you joking?
The repetition of conversation is so very mind numbing. I can barely stand it.
How, how, how do you keep your sanity? I have to force myself to chat lately. And she is with it enough to pick up on my frustration which is sad but I'm just failing right now.
Annoying when they seem to complain and/or object to seemingly everything. My mom seems to always take the other side of every issue. If I say X is annoying, she says it's not, etc.
OK, I'm hoping that at least part of this is that we were traveling together for the last 7 weeks and that was WAY too much togetherness. She likes to escape to warmer climes, but I think I'm going to have be done, for my sanity. Sure, nice to be in FL in Feb/Mar but at what price.
Needhelpwithmom - how do you deal with it??
If I ignore it, she will bring up the topic over and over. So I walk away. Still doesn’t help, haha. She will still bring it up. I’m telling you my mom is the one who taught me to be a nonconformist. She should no better than to challenge me! Haha.
My mom also says she will do more than she can at times. Eh, I think that is part of a guilt trip to get me to do it.
Try threads such as:
What's for dinner?"
"Caregiver Cats behaving Badly"
"My favorite things".
"General Topics"
"Jokes Needed"
I don’t get the poop conversations but I’ve sure heard a 2-year long tale of woe, suffering and how I just gotta understand how hard it all is.
I don’t have the patience any more. My body sent up another red-flag in the form of PVC’s (benign extra heartbeats that are a lot like hiccups) that I’m too stressed. Meanwhile, if I don’t call him on the way home from work my phone rings at 5:15 so we can have the same conversation we’ve had 126 times before. I’ve counted!
I’d do just about anything to get him to go out with some different people but he doesn’t want to be around old people.
I’m really not in a place where I can take a long vacation, due to work, but I need to.
"I'm so sick of hearing about elderly topics!" Anyone who didn't know what you meant might wonder if AgingCare was perhaps not your best choice of forum.
But yes of course I do know and remember exactly how you feel. Continence care, skin integrity, curling your lip at the daily headlines promising ALZHEIMERS BREAKTHROUGH, waiting rooms, ugly adaptive furniture, grab rails along your lovely hallways, the 'oh God what the heck is she up to now?' new dementia symptoms ... It gets just as wearing and just as claustrophobic as the worst of the baby years.
Now all he talks about is his bowel movements. I so wish we were back on the cancer subject. I no longer take him to restaurants because he would loudly announce his bowel movements or even worse....check his catheter bag in public to see how much pee was in it. At Christmas he needed my help to empty the bag and didn't understand why I insisted we do this in the bathroom. He wanted me to empty it right in front of everyone in the family room. It took two of us to assist him in the bathroom when he wanted to poop. That is more than I am willing to do or ask someone to help with. I will not be able to take him out of assisted living anymore for visits. Don't even get me started on his obsession with laxatives. If we aren't talking bodily functions he has nothing to say. Isn't interested is other people or their lives, just his own.
My mom has Parkinson’s and does what you say, blames every single thing on Parkinson’s. So at her neurologist appointments I would ask him if these things were related and when he would say they were not related she still said they were. Loosing battle, isn’t it?
Can’t edit title, sorry. Keep in mind we are stressed caregivers when writing these things. LOL. It’s not that bad of a title.
Had a friend in college whose mother in law would take her teeth out at the table as soon as she finished eating
( I don't think her marriage lasted very long, if I remember....)
New title just for you, 🤣 haha It is now going to be called, Poop Talk! Or Bowel and Bladder! Pee and poo! Day and night from my mom!
Or "On the Poop Deck"...
"Pee and Back Again" (think Hobbits!)
"Back to the Toilet"
Or just "Twilight Zone"...
I will have to remember don't give old ladies a ride when diaper is full! WOW!!!
So here we are with marketing director post selfie infusion ( read up selling) and my mom served lovely dinner. Which of course She bypassed mostly just diving for dessert. She starts eating with her hands and discussing her bowel movements for last month. In great detail. I went home and called my sister. We need to activate plan b. Let me tell you about today.....
Let it be noted, I refrained from the selfie b.s.
I hope I never get that way. Please God, don’t let me obsess over poop!
If there is a God please strike me down like immediately. I will spare you the detail. But marketing peep, well dressed and coifed was wretching.
Thanks for the comic relief. Now I am giggling even more imagining what she said! 😂 haha
Is it such a major topic for the elderly!
Eveyone take care of yourselves. Humor helps. But the trenches are real. And I know it.
So true!
My brother is the one that goes overboard with politics and religion. Everyone eventually tells him to shut up.
I keep her on scheduled lactulose and it's the only thing that works for her. You have to be careful with doctors too. One doctor told me to give my mom Milk of Magnesia (MOM)..I told that idiot she has kidney disease -- you NEVER give MOM or any kind of phosphate laxative with kidney insufficiency. The label will tell you so. People with kidney disease cannot get rid of the magnesium well, which will lead to lethargy and death. I had to ask for lactulose, and he gave it. Lactulose is kidney friendly, and it's not really a laxative but an indigestible sugar which accumulates fluid in the bowel which makes evacuation much easier. She has been on it for several years now. Her bowels are much easier to manage.
Actually if it cannot come out one end, stool will come out the other, that is, they will start vomiting feces out which can lodge into the lungs and kill them. This is no lie. So do not underestimate the seriousness of constipation. I keep a bowel diary, that is, I write it on the calendar including the time she went and if it was a large or small movement--when she went to ensure she never get impacted.
If you are a caregiver, I highly suggest you put your loved one (LO) in a nursing home because it is only going to get worse. It sounds like your LO is still able to communicate. Mine is not. She cannot tell me she cannot go. In fact many times I put her on the toilet she forgets how to urinate or bear down to have a bowel movement. I found a Squatty Potty very helpful, and I bought that at Amazon. but, I really think your LO is better off in a nursing home.
Her issue is that the daily grind of listening to nothing BUT poop stories can really get a caregiver down. Ain't that the truth?
A comparison (humor me): you have a friend who has heavy menses due to fibroids and she insists on getting graphic about feminine hygiene....wouldn’t you just say to your friend “thank you but that was TMI (too much information) ? It’s not meant to be mean but some folks can’t take that kind of talk.
No difference here for NTWH. Plus...she is probably most aware of everyone’s bm schedule by now anyway & is well versed on the importance of monitoring to assure regular bowel movements.
And at breakfast too? Geez....I know it can’t be helped but it doesn’t mean NTWH needs to like it or isn’t allowed to complain.
Perfect response! Thanks! 😊