My Sweetie has mid-advanced Alzheimer's. After several weeks of feeling completely drained and exhausted, he developed a cough. I used an at home Covid Test 2 days ago, and it came back positive! Here's the problem that I am having trouble with: On one hand, the coughing is from deep down, hurting him to even move. I think he has pneumonia. He would not do well in a hospital setting, as he gets VERY agitated when he can't find me. In the past, he's pulled out his IV's, tried to leave, etc. I'm VERY afraid that IF I take him to the ER, I will never see him again. On the other hand, can I take care of him at home? So far, so good, but he's never been this sick before. I simply don't know what path to take. I don't want to be neglectful by not getting him the medical assistance he needs, but not that many Covid patients (he's 83) walk back out of the hospital. What should I do?
They do NOT have to admit him. Honestly, they never DO want to, but sometimes that is how they get them the best care.
For one thing, he may need antibiotics, which would help him heal faster and you can't just get those w/o seeing a doc.
Pneumonia is not something to play around with. Take him to the ER and be his advocate--letting the drs and nurses know that you just need him evaluated and treated and that you REALLY don't want him to be admitted. If he is a difficult patient, they can handle that with a mild tranquilizer. My DH gets really, really anxious in the hospital and I ALWAYS talk to a doc out in the hall and tell them he will be 100% more compliant if they keep him calm. (He's in good health, still works FT and all--but he gets panicky and then he really is miserable.EVERY ER I have had to take him into has been GRATEFUL that I tell them he needs a mild tranq--he calms down, they can run all the tests and he doesn't get anxious to the point he's miserable.
Hopefully, once he dxed and you know just what's going on, likely you CAN take him back home. Hospitals are not trying to fill up with people who have good at home care. Yes, he may spend a day there getting his tests done, etc., but if you stand firm about bringing him back home, you should be able to do that.
BUT--you need a baseline about how sick he is and what he needs done.
And a LOT of elderly patients fight off covid. We don't hear about it b/c it's not 'news'.
Just for your information: I have learned that by thanking every single person who does anything for your DH--and thanking them honestly you will not end up on their 'trouble list' and you WILL get quicker and better care. It's not a sneaky thing to do, it just greases the wheels a little.
Good Luck with this.
I am 80. I already have a POLST hanging in my home. I will NOT be going to the hospital; my partner is aware of that. If he becomes seriously ill he wishes to go to the hospital. I will do that. So much of this depends upon. And I think it is best you discuss this with your husband's doctor. You are correct in believing that you cannot see him in the hospital. Not only does HE have covid-19 in all likelihood, but you are exposed to it. So you are also correct in knowing that the arrival of an ambulance may mean you are taking your last goodbye, and yes, this deep cough indicates that the virus has moved already into covid-19 pneumonia. Do you have an O2 sat meter for finger? 20.00 ordered from your pharmacy; if you do not have one order by phone right now or have someone get it for you.
I hope you have some support. Do forewarn them that in all likelihood their coming to help exposes them. They should know that.
I am so sorry and hope you do well; most are recovering. I hope you will update us.
They will figure out what the problem is.
Once you know the problem, you can chose which solution you want. As Midkid58 pointed out you don't have to keep him in the hospital - he (or his medical proxy) can aways decline medical treatments and go home. But at least you will know what's really going on.
Talk to his doctor first, but don't wait. Since it's the weekend, I'm sure they're going to tell you to take him to the ER.
Sending up prayers for you and DH
He has a better chance being seen at the ER and of this condition not progressing.
One of my father's concerns if it was his time he did not want to die alone. That was his primary concern.
I hope yours was vaccinated if he had the chance.
So quit spreading misinformation.
OP, taking your loved one to the hospital will LOWER his risks of death. You can't get the one monoclonal that works, or Pavloxid, or remdesivir outside of hospital or research settings. Please take him there right away.
Let the doc worry about the "what ifs". ((((Hugs)))))).
Let us know what you decide. We're here for you.
It absolutely makes the decision more difficult that he has dementia.
Will you be able to give him anti-anxiety drugs or sedation if necessary to prevent him from pulling out his IV and being agitated?
No you can't. A hospital can.
He has a positive Covid test. He's also elderly. My money is on pneumonia. He needs to be in a hospital.
You're worried about taking your chances sending him to the hospital because you think you may never see him again.
Keeping him at home and denying him medical care and you definitely will never see him again because he'll die.
Please take him to a hospital. That's the best thing for him because he needs medical care.
But yes he does need treatment and i am glad she is consulting with her doctor and will take his advice about what she should do. If he has pneumonia you want to keep him sitting upright as much as possible so the fluid doesn't pool in his lungs and no reclining in a recliner. If he has to lay down it is better if he lays on his side. If you can get him walking around during the day even better. Pneumonia will need some antibiotic treatment.
A person's chances of having Covid and not requiring hospitalization are greatly improved if they've been fully vaccinated. In fact they are all but guraranteed.
The Covid vaccine is not a prevention vaccination. A person can still get the virus and in extremely rare cases, and I'm talking getting struck by lightening, being the lone survivor of a plane crash, being abducted by aliens, and winning the lottery on the same day rare the person can get sick enough to need hospitalization and can even die.
So why don't you get back on your anti-vaxx nonsense and ride the hell away because no one's interested in your fight-picking here.
Here's a little FYI for ya. Two people I know developed blood clots in their lungs from HAVING Covid.. Both of them are anti-vaxx A-holes who refused vaccination and still do. Good luck with a lifetime of taking blood-thinners now. Also, the poster's 83 year-old sweetheart could have pneumonia that is unrelated to his Covid-positive status. He could have any number of secondary infections to the Covid that are causing him to be so ill.
The only way to find out is in a hospital. The guy needs to go to a hospital.
And I am not anti vaxx I am anti not having the right to choose to vaccinate or not for something that is going to require booster shots for indefinitely.
LovingDaughter can do whatever she wants with her mother. Wasn't her story about her mother not being vaccinated for religious reasons and she was having a hard time finding a care facility who would accept her mother being unvaccinated?
I believe my response to her was who can blame care facilties for saying no. Why should all the other residents be put at risk because one won't get their shots?
You know sometimes people need a bit of shaming. LovingDaughter's mother is in a very sad state being bedbound and on a feeding tube. I'll go ahead and say it. The poor woman would be better off dead than living like that. Getting her vaccinated would not be of such great benefit to her. It would be for the safety of the other patients in whatever care facility accepts her. It could be the deciding factor in what quality of care facility will accept her.
A person in the condition LovingDaughter's mother is in deserves to cared for in a decent facility. If Covid vaccination makes the difference between placement in a nasty dump without it, or placement in a decent facility with it then for the sake of mercy LovingDaughter should get her mother vaccinated.
The poor woman is bedbound and on a feeding tube. Really, what does she have to lose at this point.
Also, are you an expert on infectious diseases? You really wouldn't know if a lifetime of booster shots will be necessary. People get their flu shots every year. Covid isn't going away. Hopefully it will get to a time where people can go get their Covid shot every year like their flu shot.
I agree if I was in the condition loving daughters mother was in I wouldn't care about getting the vaccine but the issue I have is people being forced to get vaccinated. People should have the right to choose without threat of losing their job. Not getting a kidney or heart transplant. Being threatened to not be allowed in a nursing home (which was a lie by the hospital). Etc. Especially since the vaccine does not guarantee you won't get covid or pass covid to others.
just to add, where we live, it’s impossible to get an x-ray (when you’re that sick) (OP you said he has pain even moving) outside the hospital.
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i would recommend, go to ER now.
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i was a little bit in a similar situation to OP.
…start of pandemic
…many people dying in hospital from corona
…we didn’t want my LO to catch corona in hospital
my LO had a medical emergency. scary emergency.
at the hospital, they did tests, discovered what’s wrong.
luckily it later turned out, it could all be solved with medicines/injections that could be administered at home.
the hospital wanted to keep my LO in the hospital.
a kind nurse came to me and said, he himself would never leave his elderly family member in that hospital right now (pandemic). he said he knows what’s going on in the hospital. his advice was to take my LO home; if they die, better die at home. he also explained to me that even if my LO tests positive for corona, i’m allowed to take my LO home. (my LO tested negative for corona; they must test everyone at the hospital).
i was the only person who could decide.
i spoke to the doctor at the hospital; he also wanted to keep my LO in hospital; i asked him to give me advice as a friend, not as a doctor.
he said, “take your LO home. if you have nurses at home who can do the injections, etc…”.
so i did.
i went against another doctor, wanting to keep my LO in hospital.
i was very nervous about my decision, but i really felt it was the right thing to do.
at home, i helped my LO. the nurses helped.
extremely luckily, it all worked out.
OP, i hope he’ll be ok!!
Clearly you don't agree that Covid vaccination be a requirement for a person to gain or keep employment.
I would like to ask you a question out of curiosity on my part.
Do you think mandatory drug-testing should be a requirement for a person to gain or keep employment? Even if said person has never given the slighest indication of illegal drug use and has also given zero evidence for probable cause? I only ask this because most of the people I hear who are all about vaccination being an individual's choice and there should not be any reprocussions if they refuse, are always one-hundred percent onboard with mandatory drug testing by employers.
Please don't get the wrong idea about me asking this. I have never done drugs. I do not smoke pot, I rarely drink alcohol and I don't smoke cigarettes anymore. I'm just curious if you hold the traditional response that every other person I ever knew with your opinion on mandatory vaccination has on mandatory drug testing.
At 83 with advanced dementia, I would be inclined to treat him at home and let nature take its course. I would look up natural treatments for covid and pneumonia. The meds and vents are too much for many people to survive and I do not want that for myself or a loved one.
Good luck.
I also suggest you talk to his doctor about his COVID infection. The doctor may be able to prescribe medications to take at home to help with the infection.
Such a tough place to be, but if he is done with this earthly life then may his desires be granted.
I would struggle with the same decision with my young wife (67 yo) who also lives with rapidly, worsening Alzheimer’s. Would I let her go to be free from this wretched disease? Could I recognize that this may be an avenue the Lord would use to free her?
I will pray for you.
and care for him like no one else can. My prayers are with you.
crazy. criminal.
and made me have tears.
i'm so glad he survived, and is doing so much better. hug!!!!
"In 3 days he was sitting up in his chair drinking coffee and arguing with the tv."
:) wonderful!!
At his insistance..he even refused the ambulance I had called the night before..he hated doctors and hospitals. and we lost him 14 days later. my husband does not have dementia..its my parents whom we (now I) care for. I waited too late ...and I want to prepare you. They probably will not let you stay with him and this is probably gonna be one the hardest thing you will ever have to do...either way...keep him at home or take him to hospital, it sounds like he is in bad shape. If you can find someplace that offers the moniclonial infusions..get it done quickly..that was not available for us...but you are gonna have to search for it..it is not ususlly offered up my hospitals and doctors. Praying for you I know your heart is in panic mode.