I hate Christmas! I always have for as long as I can remember. Am I alone in these feelings or do I have company?

Well Gershun,
I am not sure if I hate it. But I dislike it a lot. I am a believer as you know, and I find this holiday to be so commercialized. We do not celebrate Christmas anymore after studying up on some of the traditions that have become the norm, just don't do it anymore.( I do not judge anyone who does, just speaking for me)
I love Jesus and it is more important to remember his death than his birth. Christmas isn't even in the Bible, it is instituted by man.
I always dread this time of year because there are so many expectations placed on a person from others. People start to get crazy. Even those who celebrate Christmas are definitely running around like chickens with their heads cut off, less than jolly and not of good cheer. It's like why do they bother with any of it if it becomes a hassle and not joyful. And traffic gets so horrible and scary, and stores are packed full of people.
And people go about caring about the less fortunate, but what about the less fortunate the rest of the year?
Anyway, I really can't wait for this "holiday" to pass.

My husband says, if it's supposed to be Jesus' birthday, why do people gift one another, shouldn't they be giving gifts to Jesus. When it's someones birthday, we don't give gifts to everyone, just that person.

It too shall pass.

Well expressed Smashque! And I agree!

I got so depressed that I began attending an Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Family's support group and it helped get a better perspective on living.

I totally get it. I used to hate Christmas, for a long time I did, because growing up the holidays were filled with fighting, drama and anxiety where my dysfunctional family is concerned.

In recent years I've gone no contact with most of them, and have been happier for it, honestly. Since becoming mom's caregiver, it never fails that there's some drama with her (had that one happen Thanksgiving morning as a matter of fact) but it's a bit easier now that she's not living with us, and that we don't have to deal with the other narcissistic family members on her side at Christmas dinner anymore. It's allowed hubs, kids and I to start our own traditions too, and actually get into the spirit more. I wanted my kids to have good memories on the holidays, not the craziness I grew up with.

Personally, I would say skip the stressful family gathering and do something fun, relaxing and nice for yourself, even if it's just something like sitting in your jammies by a fire drinking cocoa and reading a favorite book or having just a quiet time with you and God honoring the day and what it means.

For me it's definitely the family drama I hate but also the phoniness. Everyone drinks too much and suddenly everyone is slapping each other on the back and the octave of the room rises continuously.

I'm not a big drinker and I hate being around people who drink excessively not to mention all getting into their cars later on and driving drunk. I dare not ever mention that to anybody if I don't want to become public enemy no. one. But seriously, don't they ever think about that even.

One year they made it their goal to get my one nephew stinking drunk. Who does that? At Thanksgiving my brother got his 18 year old daughter into the sauce. I heard her say to her half-sister "its okay, they are all a bunch of alcoholics" How sad that she thinks that.

And Frazzled I hear you and that's what I'd love to do but Hubs wants to do the whole thing and I feel like I'm depriving him of something if I don't.

Hate Christmas? Well, for me, it's more like love/hate. So many kinds of stress attached to this "celebration." Let me count my (personal, but maybe I'm not completely alone) ways -- in no particular order:

- Loss of almost all spiritual meaning. I am not religious, yet the original spirit of Christmas moves me. Black Friday, on the other hand, moves me to seek escape from the whole season, regardless of the original reason.

- Finances, commercialism and greed (oh, my!). Pressure to keep up with fictional Joneses. Go into debt, or socially traumatize your kids if you are (or must be) frugal. Have said debt dog you for months, or years, after that one day has passed.

- Forced embrace of family dysfunction. (That goes for Thanksgiving, too!)

- Isolation of those who do not have close friends or family with whom they can celebrate.

- Pressure to celebrate, whether one wants to, or not.

You are certainly not alone in this, and it is probably God opening your mind to the Truth. My husband and I don't participate in Christmas at all, and if you research the history of it, you will find that it's origins are very paganistic, that it has absolutely nothing to do with God, is nowhere in the Bible and is not even Christ's birthday, so why follow this tradition full of lies, what we should be following is what God instructs us to in the Bible.

I was brought up with Christmas and loved it until I learned the Truth when I started going to my Church (United Church of God). It is not easy to make the transition from age old traditions that you were brought up with, but once you do, and follow God, you will find such a wonderful peace, and will have a clear mind and conscience at this time of the year, knowing that you are doing the RIGHT thing.

Yep. I hate Christmas.

25 years working in retail will do that. Six day work weeks, 12 hour days from the week prior to Thanksgiving thru to the end of December. My last ten years I was a district manager with stores in three states and company HQ in another state. This meant six flights every month - bad enough in the off season but airports are a special kind of hell pretty much most of November and all of December.
Dont even get me started on mall parking lots..!

Then, of course - there was my mother...

From my earliest Christmas memory until two years before she passed - every moment of every Christmas had to be her way. If you didn't play along, she went above and beyond her usual making your life miserable - taking it to a whole new level.

There was the winter she bought me a season pass to the Oregon Symphony so I could go with her - oh, joy - even though I asked her not to. With my job in retail and it being Christmas, I was short on time and even shorter on energy.
Every single performance I fell asleep within minutes of taking our seats. Naturally- that ticked her off. Seems I wasn’t expressing enough of required gratitude- by falling asleep - even though I begged her not to include me in this... but mom needed someone to go with her - to accompany her - to drive her.

As my parents started declining - probably the last five Christmas’s in their home - mom still planned her usual elaborate “family Christmas”. Which meant I spent the day before cleaning her kitchen, bathroom, living room and dining room. And yes, it took all day as even when my mother was in her prime she would NEVER clean the house. Next - I had to arrive at dawn on Christmas Day - leaving hubby and Rainman at home still snug in their beds - they were to arrive later with “the guests” - guess that made me “the help” - so I could start the cooking, rearrange furniture, last minute decorating, etc. Late morning my brothers and their families arrived - one set treated me and mine like dirt and the other set acted like hubby, Rainman and I were invisible. Then, several torturous hours of unwrapping - my mother would blow a gasket if all 15 of us didn’t open our gifts one at a time and at her approved snails pace. Lastly, the meal - dragging it out for at least two hours and acting as if SHE cooked it - after all of that - I got to stay after everyone went home...to clean up. Yeah - good times.

Those years Rainman, hubby and I didn’t even try to have our own Christmas traditions. For us - Christmas was celebrated on the 26th.

So yeah - I hate Christmas. Still. Even though I “retired” from retail nearly 15 years ago and my mom passed two years ago.

I wouldnt bother with it at all if it weren’t for my husband - who is a saint and a far better man than I likely deserve. Hubby had a horrible childhood - some years no tree and/or no presents. Dad was drunk and mom was working a grift.

So - I go thru the motions for him - trying to seem genuine in my enthusiasm. If you could see his delight with a beautifully decorated tree and lots of lights on the house - you’d understand.

Even so, I still hate Christmas!

You're definitely not alone. Christmas really is just another day on the calendar .

I'm not hating Christmas but I am feeling really sad about it. My mother put her heart and soul into it every year, year in year out, in the teeth of my father's "oh God not bloody Christmas again!" attitude; and now everything about it just reminds me painfully of how inadequate our appreciation was. And when I'm not sad about that, I'm even sadder that a woman with so much love in her heart could only find this annual ritual as a way to express it.

Oh dear got to stop typing - !

Although “hate” is a strong word, no, you are not wrong. There are many things that make up why each of us feels the way we do. I am one of those who isn’t looking forward to any celebrations. Because my husband is bedridden, I’ve decided this year to have Christmas Eve here so he can see his grandchildren. That’s the only reason. My house is a mess and isn’t decorated. No one can help because I have a large, unfriendly dog, I work 20 hours per week with young children and I’m exhausted by the time I get home, at 6:30PM still needing to get dinner ready.

Christmas isn’t what I remember, even 10 years ago. We had some money back then and I loved to decorate, even outside lights. We had at least 2 trees and sometimes 3. I loved to shop, wrap and cook.

Now, this is just another day to get through. Christmas ads are shoved in our faces from July. If you can’t buy your spouse a car or expensive jewelry or your kids the latest techno, there’s something wrong with you.

No, I don’t appreciate Christmas any longer. I miss the old days when it was fun.

I also hate the Christmas season. I also suffer from SAD and that makes it very difficult. I was working full time and my kids were in daycare. I barely had enough time to myself to de stress, never mind live up to expectations concerning this crazy holiday.

I like “moments” of the Christmas season. Lovely light displays and decorations (other people’s!). Every now & then, a song rings my bell. Finding old Christmas TV commercials on YouTube. Food!

But overall, the season sucks the life out of me. Disproportionately. That’s who I am in November and December. Take it or leave it.

Other people’s expectations have been wearing me down - since I was old enough to say my own name. The last 2 months of every year intensify that “ick.”

Ignoring expectations is not the same as eliminating expectations. But ignoring is all I have. And it’s challenging, at times.

Most of the folks in my life mean no harm with their expectations. They simply cannot fathom why anyone would feel the way I feel. (Um, because I do. Because I’m not you.)

Christmas for me has not been the same since my girls and GSon grew up. Aunts that used to have parties are gone. Cousins not that close. I have cut back the last few years. I used to clean and bake up a storm. Because I had a lot of leftover baking last year, I cut back this year. Everyone gets their favorite.

Since my daughter was an LPN and later an RN, I haven't done a traditional Turkey dinner in years. I make Lasagna. If daughter is working Xmas and maybe late, it can be kept warm. Salad and bread round it out. Cookies for dessert.

I agree, we have commercialized Christmas too much. The lives they show on the commercials are not normal lives. So depression sets in.

When parents and Aunt were alive, Holidays were fun. Brothers and sister still around. My youngest brings it up how it just not fun anymore. And its not. Parents, Aunt and sister gone. Brother 8 hrs away. Other one doing his own thing. Just a quite day. Thinking about going away next year.

JoAnn - I’ve always dreamed of spending Christmas in Paris.

Or

Renting a house on the beach on the beautiful Oregon Coast - for the entire month of December till a little past New Years. This is a whole lot more likely than Paris - maybe next year. But probably not.

Where do you dream of spending Christmas?

I don't hate Christmas, but I don't feel any joy either. Somebody mentioned having to live up to everyone else's expectations - I truly hate that people in the family will tell us that they don't care if we follow certain traditions but at the same time they make their hurt/displeasure obvious at every slight deviation. The walking on eggshells plus the actual travel and prep for the big day are exhausting.

I don't outright hate any holidays but certainly dislike them. Working retail will destroy most enjoyment over holidays. I'm hating the whole commercialization of Christmas. I'm not made of money, if I can't afford a new car or jewelry for myself, I can't afford it for another person. I can only afford so much for the people. I wasn't about to spend money on a Nintendo Switch or Wii for nephews. Looking at the history of Christmas and symbolism, I think it's interesting and a little cool. So what if Christmas is in December. It was done to stamp out paganism. It's the evangelical Christians that are screaming about the paganism in Christmas. Worry about the message of Christmas and the Bible and not when Christmas is really held. It's no small wonder that I have mostly fell away from Christianity.

I am not thrilled with it myself

Christmas is tough for me. I've hated it secretly for many years, even though I enjoyed the season as a child when my family was together. And don't get me started on Christmas songs. But. I've resolved to embrace it and find the true "reason for the season." Which for me is friendship and gratitude.

You have company. I hate Christmas, the greed, the expectations to spend money they don't have for gifts they can't afford to give to people they may not even know that well or even like. I'm an atheist and I get tired of christians talking how it's a Christian holiday when it's really based on pagan holidays.

I hate hearing the music till a few days before the day. There are a lot of the songs that I appreciate the music.

Since Mom died this April and my three sisters' horrible treatment of me resulted in my going no-contact, I plan on this Christmas for once being my way: quiet and relaxing and only doing I want.

I completely agree with you!

The stress of it overwhelms me. Now for example I am just getting over a bad case of bronchitis, have a chronic migraine, have completely lost my best pair of glasses. My husband and I went through all the trash twice which was miserable and resulted in nothing. I have family starting to arrive Thursday and I don't feel ready and am just wiped out. I feel as though I am losing my mind. I had a stressful legal issue last week and everything has just gone downhill. So I agree there is always something about Christmas that goes wrong.

Just on a side note. I don't want to piss on people who do love Christmas. I know there are those out there that love it or at the very least tolerate it. And those people I don't wish to offend. If you enjoy the season and have fun then by all means have fun! Forgive me for raining on anyone's parade by starting this thread.

Having said that, I'm glad I provided an outlet for some to get their Christmas frustrations out too.

No I feel the same way. The holidays are a very depressing time of year for me. Mostly because the only family I have is a narcissistic elderly grandfather. And every year around this time he lashes out on me. I don’t have any friends to talk to or spend the holidays with. Tonight he called me a bastard and told me to go to hell because I was ignoring him complaining about something. Then told me I’m killing him just like I killed his wife. When in fact I was the only one picking them up off the ground time and time again to get them to the hospital. I’ve given the majority of my adult life to take care of them. College, friends, family, relationships have all gone out the window. It always gets worse every Holliday season.

To be a bit cheerier, I have had problems with Christmas for years, but I have learned that if you don’t do something special, you feel that nobody loves you. This year looked crook, as both my daughters were going to stay with an in-law and that left me and Tony with nobody. Then my sister (in a wheelchair) and my brother-in-law (bed-bound in the later stages of cancer) ended up with no-one to spend it with, and asked us if we could help. So now I am organising a seafood Christmas (suitable for the weather but not for my English upbringing), minus shellfish (to which my brother-in-law is allergic), and working out how all this gets served next to the bedside plus wheelchair without ending up on the carpet. That has been enough to cheer me up – like solving a puzzle. Perhaps next year we volunteer to help with people with even more disabilities – this year can be a training run!

No, do not like it. I took a step in a new direction this year and volunteered to serve meals at a local soup kitchen that day. It will get me away from family who only condemn me, get me away from situations in which I am only set up to fail at, and I might feel like I'm part of something good if even in a small way.

Well Gershun I read your question and I have to say I feel very opposite of you. I love Christmas. Its that happy feeling that Christ was born He was sent here to save us we have that relationship with God again as Adam did before the fall.
I feel love in the air, I know there is a lot of commercialism but use that... to tell the Gospel who cares if when Jesus was born that is not what is going to save you or not save you the point is that He was born! All the heavenly hosts singing! WOW!!!
Yes family have their issues, yes people are two-faced. Heck I deal with that daily and I am not gonna let anyone get me down in the dumps! Alleluia Jesus is Born! Celebrate the coming of Christ and spread the word!
May God Bless you during this season!
hgn

Can you celebrate the true Christmas? That our Redeemer has come.  I try to ignore the commercial version, certainly do not spend it with family who are hateful to me.

Yes, I am very happy Christ was born and I am happy for anybody who can find ways to enjoy Christmas. I just get depressed this time of year. No matter how hard I try to remember what Christmas is supposed to be celebrating I still get sad.

But I'll try....................harder!!