I see changes, and it's increased recently. She is slow, tired, more forgetfulness about conversations and specifics in said conversations, and she's always been angry and also very expressive, but it seems like the anger is what is most important to her. Not a crazy lashing out, but very intent on telling how she stood up for herself in situations and other things. But my need for help is I NEED TO TALK TO SOMEONE WHO IS GOING THROUGH DESPAIR, SADNESS, ANGER, AND CONFUSION regarding their parent's decline. I have tried therapy but it is not working, I don't trust friends with something so personal, and my long-term partner is great, but he is not able to be there for me all the time.
I also feel like I am not good for her. I am incredibly trustworthy and responsible, but I irritate her and she irritates me, which I feel very horrible about, but it just happens. She thinks I thinks she's crazy, and I don't; I think she has decline and it scares me and I don't know if I am equipped to care for her if it gets bad. But MOST IMPORTANT IS SOMEONE TO SHARE THEIR STORIES WITH; A FRIEND.
The despair, sadness, anger and confusion are normal feelings to have. Like you, I didn't really have anyone who could relate. My significant other of 28 years has a 98 yr old mother who still drives, lives alone and plays bridge on her computer. My friends parents are still alive and independent. My mothers family didn't believe there was anything wrong with her. I felt so alone and so mad and sad about it all.
If this is just starting with your mom, you probably still have a long road ahead of you. My moms symptoms were noticed by me back in 2008...here we are in 2020 and I have sold her house and most furnishings, sold her car and placed her in assisted living. I still manage her dr. visits, do her laundry, pay her bills, etc. It's exhausting, but better than before I moved her. Essentially, my mom no longer exists and I have accepted that. When something devastating happens in life and I wish my mom was there to commiserate with or when something wonderful happens and I wish she could share in the joy...those are the times I grieve her "loss" all over again, even though she is still physically here.
Sites like this one does help because you realize that you are not the only one. There are folks that are in a better situation than you and there are folks in a worse situation than you and everything in between.
Know this....you don't have to run yourself into the ground to be a good daughter. There is no shame in placing your mom where there is 24 hr care. Don't commit yourself to doing something out of guilt. Know that you are not alone.
Take care.