My roommate has had both knees replaced. Since I moved in with her in March of 2018 she has almost never taken a shower, she has 3 cats that aren't properly taken care of the litter boxes ×2 get cleaned maybe once a month, my apartment smells like cat p1ss and I'm allergic to cats. I do my best to clean the house but she doesn't do anything to clean. There is cat hair and puke everywhere, I would move out but I can't afford to. Is it right for me to call a welfare check on her?
You knew she had cats when you moved in. So why is it now an issue.
She can't afford to move and it was her home.
You need to get out or clean the litterbox. Getting her in trouble is crappy and you should feel bad when it's a 1.50 solution to not be breathing the smell from the cats.
Everything you have said about this woman is heartbreaking and she needs help, physical help not pressure from anyone, especially not the threat of loosing her home.
Daniegirl, if your intentions are truly good, you will enlist the help of abled bodied friends and family to get the house polished and create a plan how to keep it that way.
I know it's not your mess or your animals but she opened her home to you when you needed a place to stay. I would think that is reason enough to help get the house in order. If you scoop the litterbox everyday, it isn't a gross stinking mess.
Stop worrying about your allergies for one day, take 2 pills, wear a mask and get it done. Show some love and gratitude to another human being that showed you some at a dark time of your own.
Quite frankly I have seen a filthy house that would gag a maggot, I spent 6 weeks getting it livable. So, if you think you situation is unique, sorry, not so. But I didn't complain or try to get anyone in trouble, I got my butt busy and cleaned. Took 4 showers a day because of the gross I had to be in.
We step up or we move out.
Everyone here that is encouraging her, please read her responses, they are all over the place with the truths of the matter. How can we encourage her to get this woman kicked out.
The cats wiil not go in a dirty cat litter box. The smell is more likely from urine in another place than the litter boxes. Have you checked behind the washer for the cat poop?
Additionally, if an un-neutered male cat lives there, he may be spraying his territory. Another horrible smell.
Spraying also stinks and is hard to get rid of.
My husband is allergic to cats - so much so he begins wheezing and needs to get out of wherever he is if there is a cat. He literally can’t breathe if he visits a home with a cat.
My suggestion would be to help her out and, as above, clean the litter boxes. This woman did you a favor by offering you a place to live when you needed one.
You were aware she had cats prior to moving in, yes? Why would you agree to move in?
If I were you I would put myself on the list of one bedroom apartments. I too never heard of rent being split in a HUDD program. My brother lives in one and his rent is based on his SSDI income. He does not qualify for a two bedroom apt.
Can’t you move in with your sister? She lives next door, you said.
It does sound to me that you want her out so you can have the two level townhouse next to your sister for yourself. Work with your roommate and show her some kindness. She was there first, so it’s on you to move, imo. I couldn’t live with myself if I caused her to be kicked out. The managing office is aware of the situation; the only alternative I see is you moving out.
Or take the cats to a shelter. It is unfair to the animals.
If you do your laundry in that environment are you sure you don't smell like a dirty cat box?
My brother and his wife didn't clean the litterbox at their house and I took the cat. They were mad but tough, animals cannot up and leave an unsuitable environment.
Yes, reasons why you can't deal with it are excuses. There are many ways to deal and you have been asking for advice for 3 days. Have you done anything to remedy the situation?
You moved in with a person that had cats and you are allergic to cats. That is a red flag for me and it sounds like you are trying to get her moved out or in trouble with the housing agency. You say no but you keep asking how to get it dealt with. Clean the litterbox that's how you deal with it and by the way, I know they kick the waste all over the floor when the box is to full, then they will use the house, you live like this and say you cannot do anything because of allergies. Nonsense.
If everyone uses the laundryroom, in the basement, you have more options.
Can your sister, living next door, assist with the litter boxes? Maybe your roommate, after knee surgery can no longer get to the basement?
Yes. That's it....call APS right away. The poor woman may not be able, even at a young 50ish age, to manage on her own.
I sincerely hope you find a way to get your home clean for both your sakes and the cats.
It is clear you have to do something. It’s not likely to resolve on its own.
Would the son be motivated to help you and her if he knew she might lose her home?
Tell him you are going to have to call for a wellness check and his name will be given as the next of kin.
He may not care or he may be willing to help her clean.
I know it’s not your intention to bring her harm or make her lose her home. She needs the help that call might bring her.
I get they are not your animals but sheesh, at what point do you live like that instead of scooping the litterbox everyday.
If not that, load them up and take them to a shelter, it is unfair to the animals, they can't do anything about it.
There is obviously mental illness involved to live in a filthy cat house. That is stink that permeates everything.
Can you let the (management) inspection people give her the consequences, order her again to clean up. In landlord/tenant law, there are consequences for not complying with the rules. As simple as being a continual nuisance, health and safety violations can get her evicted after time. It takes repeated efforts to report.
Yes, that would be sad, and scary for you and your roommate.
The "calling animal control" may be a good suggestion, Daniegirl.
I am not sure anyone will understand this approach, so let me explain.
It is a known fact that she, the roommate is the problem.
Calling animal control is a "back door" approach, because there are also laws to protect the animals. While your roommate may be "allowed" to live in filth, she cannot abuse the vulnerable animals. Animal control can give her another warning, and if she does not comply, take her pets.
Isn't that sad, you are not protected.?? Sad too, that she may lose her animals/pets.
This is all just too much. I think you are doing your best by not being home as much as possible, until there is a resolution to your situation. I hope it is soon for your sense of peace of mind and safety. Can your sister make some complaints on her own behalf?
There are other ideas, and other people will be able to help you more.
You say that you are seeking part time employment? Would you be interested in caregiving, or housekeeping for someone on SSI? Paid by Social Security?
The IHHS program hires people. A care manager can order the necessary hours paid on behalf of your roommate. The worker can be you, or someone else.
I think you may have to bite the bullet and move out. As a person collecting SSI the Social Service Dept should be able to find you a place. You are entitled to foodstamps, help with utilities etc.
I totally agree with you Daniegirl, that just because a person is depressed, ill, or poor is no reason to be living in filth, or not to keep oneself clean.
The woman is depressed, suggest a counselor for her. Contact any family she has to come over.
Hire a housekeeper, or pet service to come in as much as needed. Deduct that from the rent.
It would not hurt, that for a few months, you step up and clean more than your 50%. imo.
Please stay in touch, let us know how you're getting on.
I've never heard of shared tenancy in an income controlled apartment - are you on the lease or is this a side deal with your room mate?
Unless you're confident that she is already getting all the support and benefits she is entitled to, I'd have thought that a welfare check would absolutely be appropriate. But unless it's really impossible, I'd do it with her knowledge and co-operation rather than make her feel I'd gone behind her back.
Are things significantly different now than then?
Im not familiar with how this housing style works but did she have a choice about you moving in? Did she have to take you? Now you want her out?
I don’t mind cats but my husband is severely allergic and it seems that many cat lovers grow ‘nose blind.
I don’t think you’ll get anywhere with a welfare check but if you haven’t been able to make her understand how disgusting living like this is to you, then maybe this will make a difference.
To me. You need to move since she had the cats when you moved in. A preexisting condition so to speak. But believe me I do understand how awful it can be for cats not properly cared for. I’ve bern there with daughter.
Is there a way to request another roommate, specifically one without pets, since you are allergic?
If you think she is mentally unwell or mistreating the cats, then yes I think you should ask APS or Animal Welfare or both to check on the situation, regardless of whether you move out or not.