Dad died in July 2021 and mom has been in AL now for nearly 5 months. We are selling their home next week. It’s almost empty now. I’ve been so busy as I’ve rushed to go through their stuff, pack up, keep, donate, or throw away, plus doing minor repairs and also keeping track of my mom’s condition as she went back into the hospital recently. I can’t explain how much grief I have about letting go of this home where he lived for so long. I’m feeling like I’m saying the final goodbye to him. On the other hand, I know it’s right to sell. Mom needs the money. And dad would be in complete agreement of selling the house to get the money for her care. I just feel a constant lump in my throat & chest and I keep feeling like crying though I don’t dare let myself weep much right now because too much to do. Everywhere I look I see all the telltale signs of his care for this home. He fixed everything and loved to make little improvements that made things easier for mom. I hated emptying his room, going through things he had used or appreciated having. When he died, I cried a lot. But now it feels really final and my loss feels overwhelming. Has anyone else gone through this? Any advice?
I’m so sorry for your mom’s loss.
See if you can find a friend or relative to sit or chat with you as you go through this phase.
Take lots of pictures of the house when it is empty and up for sale. Whenever you are feeling blue, look at those pictures. You said that your Dad would be wanting to sell the house for your Mom's care. You are doing what your Dad would have wanted for your Mom. (((HUGS)))
I dialed my grandma’s phone number getting ready to speak with her like I always did. I was half way through dialing before I realized that she had died. All these years later I still remember grandma’s phone number, address and birthday.
I truly understand that grief is different for everyone but I do get concerned about how so many people jump on the ‘psychic’ bandwagon hoping to connect with their loved ones.
There are too many scammers out there looking to make money off of other people’s grief. It’s very sad that people take advantage of vulnerable and grieving individuals.
Not sure how to get over the hump, so I'll just start and stop a while longer. Bless you, dear. It's hard to do what you're doing.
* Allow the tears and grief to come out. Invite it in.
* "Stuffing" feelings in will not support you to move forward - you need to allow this natural process to happen.
* Your psyche and body KNOWS what it needs. Honor what it tells you.
* And, yes, it is hard and difficult.
* You do not need to 'like' or 'want' to have these feelings although it is in your best interest in every way to allow them to 'speak' to you and flow out as they need to. By allowing you/r body and psyche to release as it needs to will give you the energy and space to do what you need to do which is selling her home.
Trust the process.
Trust yourself.
Trust your divinity or your spiritual knowingness (whatever this might mean to you).
* Our feelings 'talk' to us all the time.
* It is up to us to listen (which is a respect, if not appreciation for / of them) by listening and moving through them.
* No guilt here-if you are not ready to allow this process to happen, given yourself compassion for doing all that you are doing. It is important that you give yourself self-care as you can / need to - to keep going.
And, my heart goes out to you during this difficult time.
Gena / Touch Matters