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You don't go to funerals and memorials for the dead person. You go for the ones that are still alive and grieving - family and friends Connecting with family and friends might be the best way to deal with the really tough couple of years you have experienced. And yes, avoid events afterwards that deal with alcohol.

Please consider seeing a mental health doctor to get adequate treatment for your depression and anxiety. Medications can help calm the symptoms while you work with a therapist to build new coping strategies.
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