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So easy to sit on the sidelines and offer advice without living a day in your shoes. You know what is best and seem to have a true grasp of your living situation. They don’t. If mom is happy and you’re happy, that in itself is a wonderful thing. Don’t second guess yourself....you seem to have this all under control.
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They probably mean well and think they are helping you but you are of course right they really shouldn't be making assessments like that without being part of the actual day to day life and care giving. I have to say the fact that your aunt and brother also feel the way you do about her current living situation should speak volumes to all the "well wishers". I would simply say to them, I appreciate your interest and support and while I don't feel like we are there yet when we are I know I can count on your help, thank you. If they are persistent or they have just frustrated you too much to find generosity you can just say "well guess that's why mom put me (or us if your aunt & brother share decision making) in charge" or "guess I'm not like you, I'm still enjoying having mom home with me too much". "I am still providing a higher quality of care at home with brother and aunts help than any facility can give her but when that changes I'll let you know" and then just let in go in one ear and out the other. The only people I might say who's opinions you might want to consider more strongly is your brother and aunt, other than that you don't need to satisfy or impress anyone else just keep doing what you know feels right. You obviously have far more experience and ability with care giving than any of these well meaning people.
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