Hi there, Since I’ve become my mom’s care provider about 4 years ago, I’ve noticed how bad my memory has become. It started about 2 years ago, or so. Anyway, those close to me don’t think it’s a big deal; including my doctor. So where do I go now? Does anyone know what specific words I can use the next time I see the doc? Family & friends tell me it’s normal for this to happen after retirement because a person isn’t required to “be on the ball” like they were when they were working. I retired when I was 56, now I’m 62 and it’s frightening how bad my memory is! Any advice? I’d appreciate it. Thanks!
Since I retired, I joined our church choir, and I notice it is difficult when learning new music to read the notes and words at the same time. I used to be able to do this. And this weird thing....last week in church, after the choir had left the choir loft and joined the congregation, a group of men got up to sing. They were really good, and I remember thinking “That’s odd, it’s a quintet, instead of a quartet”, because there were five men up there. Well, during choir practice, the director praised the quartet, and I mentioned to my seatmate that there were five, and she said, “no, there were only four”, and she named them. What? I looked on the church bulletin and saw only four names. Now I’m waiting for the video to be broadcast (it’s a week delayed), to see how many men were singing. I feel like I have dropped into The Twilight Zone!
And yes, stress can make you forgetful. After Katrina and the destruction of my house, my family and I were homeless and living with different family members for about 6 weeks. During that time, I ruined my cellphone (the old Nokia) by forgetting it was in the pocket of my shorts and washing it with a load of laundry, and I locked myself out of my car three times and had to call Pop-a-lock.
Isn't it wonderful to be able to take a nap, with the phone turned off so you don't have to worry about getting an emergency call?
Oh my gosh, I use to be so sharp it would even scare me. Now having issues trying to remember things is scaring me even more. It's like there is a timer lock on my memory's file cabinets as sometimes it can take me 5 minutes or 5 hours to recall what I was trying to remember.
This all happened back when I was doing some caregiving for my parents. Even though it mostly was logistical, it was the lack of sleep that I think threw the curve off. The last parent passed just over a year ago, I am still in recovery mode. And I find myself napping a lot :P
Medications also effect memory. Check to see if any of your meds have drowsiness as a side effect. If your sleep is getting interrupted by your LO, the "drowsiness" impact can be magnified.
My parents have been in a memory care since last July and I still don't feel like I have rested from the extreme stress I endured for the last 5 years or so.
Every time I looked at my daily and weekly schedule, my mood was relaxed and the anxiety softened and I felt better. "Softened" isn't a normal way of characterizing anxiety, but that's exactly what I felt - less stress, more relaxed, and just not as tensely wired and tense as I had before gazing on those beautiful motifs on the planners.
My name is Patrick, I am new at caring, my mom has vascular dementia and both my mom and dad are in there late seventies. I am a full-time care for both of them since last October. I used to be a 5 star hotel manager but I realized that my parents mean more to me than my career so I quit. I have found that my memory is foggy at times,I have to write out what I need to for the day so I can get things done otherwise it might not get done. Sometimes I can't remember what day it is , did I give them their medicine , have I done all that needs to be done. I am the youngest of 8 kids (47) 6 more live in the town , help as they may I sometimes feel I need support out side the home .
Silky, I don't agree with those who are telling you that it's normal to lose memory capacity after retirement. In fact, given that we don't have to focus on how to get along with lazy people, "not my job" people, grouchy or not very well trained bosses, I think we're freer to develop our mental capacity.
Still, caregiving does challenge memory, or at least short term memory, in my experience. This week I just couldn't remember which day it was, but I can still picture surveys of projects on which I worked back in the 90's.
With caregiving, I think more short term vs. long term focus is required, and on more "fight or flight" episodes. Although long term planning is still a factor, the short term catastrophes or emergencies become more prevalent, more life threatening and more important.
I don't what specific solutions would be recommended. For me though, it's reading. It refocuses my mind, and in exciting adventure novels there's usually much more drama and immediate need for action, so my mind is shifted from a medical emergency to wondering how the author created an escape for the characters.
If you can create some semblance of home work, though, I think that would also provide a focus. I tried to scope out my tasks, using a technique I learned on one of my jobs. It requires identifying goals, tasks required to reach those goals, and scheduling them in order of importance as well as precedence. It helps stimulate my memory.