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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Does she has problems chewing, or has she forgotten how? My grandmother (with dementia) in her last year just ate smoothies, that we fed her with a spoon thru the day.She ate a bit, then she started spitting the food out, so we stopped and tried later, It was a job for the whole family. She liked sweet fruit smoothies, her doctor recommended adding cream and a precursor of protein powder to give her calories.
Try putting her food in very small little cups, make sure they are white, like souffle cups, only give them 1 or 2 at a time. I worked in an Alzheimer’s unit, that seemed to work for most of the patients. god bless and I wish you well.
www.musicmemorylane.org. turn on some music that she will remember during mealtime. Or if you have the roku channel and there are old programs that she used to watch turn those on during mealtime. Helen, let me know how this turns out either way.
I don't know how far along mom is at this time, but eventually, yes, she will refuse to eat. Her body will tell her not to or simply not let her eat. If you force it, you could cause problems for her. It is heartbreaking to see happen. But they aren't starving themselves to death, as some people like to say. Her body will eventually be going through the process of transition from this life to the next.
Until then, don't worry so much about nutrition as hydration. Be sure she gets enough fluids. Offer her the foods she likes, not the foods you think she needs. You can offer the nutritional drinks but honestly, I tried them, and I'd be spitting them out if that's what was given to me.
My dad also has dementia and rarely eats. Hospice said they don’t care what he eats they just want him to have calories so he doesn’t lose a lot of weight but not to force him to eat (which we don’t). He mostly just drinks Boost but also likes his chocolate. When he does eat, he likes finger foods. It’s getting harder for him to stab his food w the fork and when he does eat, I’ll put the food on his fork for him.
After you have ruled out mouth issues and UTIs let it go. Eating is not required. I helped manage care of my mom for 13 years of dementia. She survived her last year, age 89, on sausage, sweet roles, and chocolate anything. When people are ready to go we let them go. That is not suggesting pushing anyone off the boat but I've watched care givers agonize over getting their person to eat a vegetable....that ship has sailed.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I really liked Fawnby’s answer. I am a mobile dentist that serves residents of senior living communities, including those living with memory loss. My initial thoughts were to rule out a dental issue (including oral thrush, which can negatively impact appetite) or a swallowing problem. I would also recommend checking out Adria Thompson’s instagram page, @belightcare. She is a speech language pathologist who posts practical videos for familial caregivers on a multitude of topics. 💜
My mother had dementia, and toward the end she had frequent UTI's. She would become more agitated and confused, and also refused to eat. Then after treatment with antibiotics, her appetite would return and her cognitive function would improve. Unfortunately, when a hospice agency came in, they interpreted her loss of appetite as her body shutting down. They wouldn't test for a UTI. After about a week of fighting about it, I finally went and got her a test from the drugstore. She did in fact have a UTI, and they ordered the antibiotics, but she died the next day. The moral is: be sure to test for infections which can often have the same symptoms as advanced stage disease. And don't let some hospice nurse talk you out of it.
I went through my mother and my wife not wanting to eat but knowing they need to. It came to a point where they were both tired of living and ready to go to heaven. My wife had so many trips to the emer room from falls, to not able to get up because of knee or hip probles. Tired of needing assistance to get to bathroom, in bed, out of bed and more. It starts to weigh on the patient and no one wants to be in a situation where they cannot care for themselves. Both will tell me I don;t want to eat and I know i should , it got worse with stop trying to make me eat etc. We had to come to terms they were ready to pass on and most important make that peace with them. Let them know you understand, let them know how much you love them and how much you will miss them but will see them in heaven. Make them as comfortable as you can and if possible have hospice help out. They are wonderful to have with you. Ask if they would like to have a minister come by. hold their hand and make sure they know you love them. Time and God will decide when and it hurts to see them that way but be thankful you are there for them and they are not alone or scared...
My mother had dementia, and toward the end she had frequent UTI's. She would become more agitated and confused, and also refused to eat. Then after treatment with antibiotics, her appetite would return and her cognitive function would improve. Unfortunately, when a hospice agency came in, they interpreted her loss of appetite as her body shutting down. They wouldn't test for a UTI. After about a week of fighting about it, I finally went and got her a test from the drugstore. She did in fact have a UTI, and they ordered the antibiotics, but she died the next day. The moral is: be sure to test for infections which can often have the same symptoms as advanced stage disease. And don't let some hospice nurse talk you out of it.
Does she have a favorite food? When my mom wasn't wanting to eat, I'd let her skip a meal or two (not dangerous), then introduced a coconut milk ice cream mixed with whey protein powder, some greens, strawberries and stevia as a milkshake. She loved it, drank it all, and got in a lot of nutrition!
People who have dementia often have trouble swallowing. It may present with spitting out the food.
Her brain may not be telling her to swallow, which then causes her to hold the food in her mouth and to perhaps pocket it in her cheeks. Then she doesn't know what to do with the food, so she spits it out. She may even spit it at you or at others at the table. It's not necessarily a hostile act. It's more likely that she can't figure out the next step in swallowing, so she gets rid of the food in her mouth in the most logical way. She may let food dribble out of her mouth as well.
If you are feeding her by hand (and at this point you should be), your job is to encourage her to swallow after every bite. You can stroke her throat or cheeks to encourage the swallowing reflex. You can watch carefully to see if she's swallowed the last mouthful she took. Don't offer another mouthful until her mouth is clear. Don't offer liquid when she still has food in her mouth.
If she refuses to eat, and if she doesn't have pain from her teeth or other mouth issues, consider that her body may be shutting down. She may have little or no appetite. If her body's shutting down, eating and drinking will cause her pain, so of course she'd want to avoid it.
If you haven't had her evaluated for hospice care, it's time. They will probably administer a swallowing test, or you could ask her PCP to order one. The test would give you some answers and perhaps helpful advice would be provided. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with a difficult problem.
Perhaps she's having some issues with her teeth and it hurts when she try's to chew, or she now needs to have her food pureed and her drinks thickened with the product Thick-It to make it easier for her to eat and drink and not worry about her food and drink going into her lungs risking getting aspiration pneumonia, which is very common with folks with dementia. Just a few options to consider.
1: try mixing a bit of ensure into her smoothie or protein powder into milkshakes.
what is her "GO-TO" treat
work around that.
2: smaller portions.. one teaspoon or smaller at a time..
3: ask her first what she in the mood for; tuna sandwich; clam chowder, grilled cheese sandwich?
She just may be trying to gain control of something that she is losing with her dementia.
It broke Mom. it was not safe for her to be in her own home and every decision she said no. that was her control to say no. Maybe this is what your mom is feeling the loss of control even to the point of what she is putting in her mouth. This is not a fun disease to navigate. Nor is any other disease, It's not easy.. It may just be a little bit of defiance, if you will..
Oh geez.. not sure if you are offering food, Or actually trying to spooning food into her mouth.. it almost sounds like she is being stubborn... any physical health issues?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I worked in an Alzheimer’s unit, that seemed to work for most of the patients.
god bless and I wish you well.
Until then, don't worry so much about nutrition as hydration. Be sure she gets enough fluids. Offer her the foods she likes, not the foods you think she needs. You can offer the nutritional drinks but honestly, I tried them, and I'd be spitting them out if that's what was given to me.
Her brain may not be telling her to swallow, which then causes her to hold the food in her mouth and to perhaps pocket it in her cheeks. Then she doesn't know what to do with the food, so she spits it out. She may even spit it at you or at others at the table. It's not necessarily a hostile act. It's more likely that she can't figure out the next step in swallowing, so she gets rid of the food in her mouth in the most logical way. She may let food dribble out of her mouth as well.
If you are feeding her by hand (and at this point you should be), your job is to encourage her to swallow after every bite. You can stroke her throat or cheeks to encourage the swallowing reflex. You can watch carefully to see if she's swallowed the last mouthful she took. Don't offer another mouthful until her mouth is clear. Don't offer liquid when she still has food in her mouth.
If she refuses to eat, and if she doesn't have pain from her teeth or other mouth issues, consider that her body may be shutting down. She may have little or no appetite. If her body's shutting down, eating and drinking will cause her pain, so of course she'd want to avoid it.
If you haven't had her evaluated for hospice care, it's time. They will probably administer a swallowing test, or you could ask her PCP to order one. The test would give you some answers and perhaps helpful advice would be provided. I wish you the best of luck in dealing with a difficult problem.
Just a few options to consider.
does she like ice cream, shakes etc?
1: try mixing a bit of ensure into her smoothie or protein powder into milkshakes.
what is her "GO-TO" treat
work around that.
2: smaller portions.. one teaspoon or smaller at a time..
3: ask her first what she in the mood for; tuna sandwich; clam chowder, grilled cheese sandwich?
She just may be trying to gain control of something that she is losing with her dementia.
It broke Mom. it was not safe for her to be in her own home and every decision she said no. that was her control to say no.
Maybe this is what your mom is feeling the loss of control even to the point of what she is putting in her mouth.
This is not a fun disease to navigate.
Nor is any other disease,
It's not easy..
It may just be a little bit of defiance, if you will..
not sure if you are offering food,
Or
actually trying to spooning food into her mouth..
it almost sounds like she is being stubborn...
any physical health issues?