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It's been a while since I've been in this forum. Some may remember that I have really struggled with Mom's "core personality" being completely unleashed now that dementia has taken a firm hold of her.
Back in May she had started throwing her plates and cups or banging then on the table at meals in the community dining room. Last week the the staff had reported some "decline in cognition" to the physician who, I think, ruled out UTI.
Today my brother visited her (I haven't been there since July. I needed a break. A Looonngg break. Brother reports he can tell that she's been kicking the wall and there's a hole in the wall too. No one on staff has contacted me about this. Bro says Mom said it's been there a while and happened while she was angry. That's all she said. Not that she did it, but that's the natural conclusion. She's in AL, they do not have Memory Care. I'm thinking it may now be time to place her in Memory Care.
Any thoughts?

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yes, I know. But It's more forgiveable in MC than in AL.

I think I'll take the advice of, "they'll let you know when they decide she can't stay there anymore."
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I can't remember if your Mom is on meds for agitation. If not, why not?
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mommabeans Oct 4, 2026
I honestly don't know. I let the care team at her AL determine her healthcare needs. She's on Ericept? If that helps.
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I would leave well enough alone.

The facility isn't complaining about her behavior, so I don't think you should either.

Well done stepping back and letting the facility take care of her.
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mommabeans Oct 4, 2026
Thanks. That's probably what I wanted and needed to hear.

I KNOW I have no legal obligation to answer for her. But that ingrained "you owe your parents" thing was is Sooo part of my generations DNA is stuck on the tracks.
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The assisted living facility will notify you when it's time to have your mom moved to a memory care facility. Have you or your brother asked those caring for your mom if they feel it's now necessary to have her moved?
If not I would start there and then take things from there. No need to put the cart before the horse here.
And just FYI. your mom can still kick a hole in the wall in a memory care facility as well, so I wouldn't let that be the determining factor.
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