Also, my brother was cremated. Don’t know what my other brothers will do. Well, one says he also wants cremation. My mother was very upset to cremate my oldest brother at first. Then she accepted it. I had to make the arrangements. My oldest daughter went with me. My brothers didn’t even offer.
Not sure if she really wants this or not.
She has a bad memory of her neighbor being cremated and another neighbor passed out spoons to sprinkle the ashes in her flower garden!
My mother couldn’t do it. She wasn’t interested in scooping out some ashes and putting them in the garden. Creeped her out.
She says most of our family is dead, her friends have died so she feels it’s a waste to have a wake and funeral. I understand what she is saying but she is a lifelong devout Catholic and I told her we could have a funeral mass with a short viewing before the service. That is how Catholic funerals were done before having the priest say mass at the funeral parlor. Some people still do it all in the church. She seemed to smile when I mentioned that. I want her true desire to be expressed and not to say something just because she thinks we want to hear it. Any suggestions are appreciated?
Of course you are overwhelmed and out of sorts, yikes, you have been caring for 14 years without a break. Who would know what to think of this, not me. But because of my parents I am always keeping my eyes open for manipulative behavior.
Hugs!
I wrote a long post to you. It’s in general section. Please read. I forgot to put in under your name. Exhausted!
I agree, it is silly to spend thousands and thousands to be buried, when you won't even spend money for your care.
We are gone when our bodies are dead, we are spirits that live in these meat bodies, kinda like our meat bodies live in our brick and mortar houses.
Neither one of my parents wanted a wake, a viewing or even a memorial service. They were cremated and interred and that was it. Mom can have a Mass said over her for the family and whoever else wants to attend. Speak with her priest and whichever funeral parlor she chooses. A funeral is a personal thing and she should be able to have whatever she wants. There is nothing that says she has to have a large, expensive funeral. Any funeral director should be willing to help her plan a service that she is comfortable with.
Yes, she knows. She watches mass on television. She only goes to doctor appointments now. I had to find a hairstylist that would come to the house. I can’t even get to mass. I watch it on tv too now. I hate being a prisoner in my own home. I guess my husband and I could take turns and go separately but I going but I want to be with him so we watch it on tv together. Not the same as going to church.
Thanks for responding.
I don’t really know. I don’t want to have regrets. Yes, cost is a factor but I will research my options. I like your answer. Thanks.