Mom went to hospital for assessment now cannot talk. Has anyone else experienced such a thing?

I’ve experienced two similar caregiving/love-shock puzzles. My third paragraph has a graphic description of my experience of intubation that some may not want to read.
First, last month I was advised by EMTs to have my 97-year-old Dad taken to ER for imaging. He had banged his head very hard in a fall. He had been falling increasingly, and we had perhaps over-used the “courtesy lifts” that 911 can provide. From ER he was admitted to the hospital for four more days, then to rehab for 20 days. Rehab PT had him “walking” 75 feet a day. Once he was discharged to home, he seems to have had multiple strokes and now can barely speak (aphasia, dysarthria, apraxia). I imagine it’s possible his severe aortic stenosis (first diagnosed because of the ER imaging) may have caused strokes or plaque disruption? For years, and at ER and at the hospital, Dad happily signed DNRs. But once admitted to Rehab he wanted “all extraordinary measures” to keep himself alive. His dementia had increased markedly in the hospital. At rehab, he was most definitely declared incompetent and I was put in the position of DNRing him. Why did I do that when my heart was breaking, I felt so guilty about overriding his wishes, and I loved my dear father?
Ten years prior, my 100-year-old mother-in-law fell, after numerous falls, and was admitted to ER, where she expressed her DNR wishes and wore a huge DNR bracelet. Though having survived a number of strokes and still able to be rational, she had signed so many DNRs and clearly worded directives, which I made sure hospital staff shifts were always aware of, as well as her family’s legal role in supporting that decision. She was such a bubbly, giving personality that she had endeared herself to nursing staff in just the few days she was there. She had another heart attack during this short hospitalization. An RN went into a panic and intubated her. Roommate witnesses said the tubing was the most horrible thing they ever witnessed. It caused such trauma, the entire ward (including visitors) was shaken. Once deceased, when I viewed her body, it was quite obvious there was a lot of internal tissue trauma caused by the intubation, which also extended her life struggle.
I don’t think ER or hospital staff have the time or emotional capacity to always make exquisite decisions filled with perfection. Many are weary and exhausted. Many have seen too much, and are burnt out too. They fall back on protocol training and knee-jerk reactions in a pinch. I can’t fault what happened during either of my two experiences. I just saw a bunch of people (myself included), who did the best they could do under very stressful circumstances. We are forever saddened and traumatized. But that is why I will sign DNRs on behalf of extremely frail, aged, and irreversibly diseased love ones. And why palliative/hospice care provides highly skilled monitoring and brilliant comfort measures.
I apologize for my graphic description, but I couldn’t sleep if I didn’t share it with another going through this heart-rending experience. I am truly sorry you are in this time with your mother. I hope you find some clarity in these caring responses.

Yes, something similar happened to my Mom several times. It was a UTI that progressed into delirium for a few days, then she snapped out of it first sleeping for a couple of days. She did not remember any of it. What angered me was the lack of clarity from the nurses at the rehab where it started and from most of the medical personnel we dealt with. I was shocked when it happened and no one was clear about what was going on. Check for a urinary tract infection, or UTI. I had no idea at the time that these could bring on strange behavior and symptoms.

I agree with the comments on the urinary tract infection (UTI) that others have mentioned. UTI symptoms can mimic dementia. Sometimes it is very hard to get a doctor to run those tests for some reason, but I would insist upon it, and by another organization and another doctor than she has had, especially if she has been seeing a geriatric doctor, who seem to be consist about being lackadaisical. I would also consider what was said above about the hospital giving your mother a sedative. As POA, you are entitled to be given a list of everything your mother was given while in the hospital. Demand that list, and take it to another doctor for analysis. Hospitals are some of the biggest bullies in the world. Don’t let them push you around. Also, you might want to take your mother to a DO instead of an MD, as a DO will treat the entire person and not just medicate them to death. Keep us posted. Hang in there.

Ambly.. how is your Mom doing? Have the tests shown anything further? Are her symptoms leveling out? Is she returning to normal. Please let us know how she is doing. How old is your Mom?

I agree with Chad. It would be good to have a medical power of attorney and full power of attorney just in case something happened. But your Mom will need to be able to sign it in all likelihood. My honey and I both have a medical POA and full POA over each other "just in case". We both also signed a DNR as we did not the other to have to make the decision. (We went through this with my honey's Mom.) I keep them in folders marked legal papers with our names so that if anything happens they are right at hand.

UTI can definitely do this. Get her checked for it! Also, is she being given Morphine for anything?

You need to get a power of attorney asap for your mother. Find a lawyer who can draw up one. They cost 30 to 50 dollars. I will pray for your mom

Yes, UTI is a possibility. My mom had several of those before she died and the symptoms were pretty alarming. My parents signed a DNR when they were in still okay and in their early 80s. Hospitals usually want a DNR done for the elderly and thank goodness for it. My mom died a peaceful natural death at 92 without all that unnecessary medical intervention.

That has happened several times to my MIL. Sometimes its a stroke, and sometimes its a seizure. She can usually just say people's names for a few days, the rest being gibberish. Then after a wk or 2 her speech is fine. She is spending the wkend with us (we take turns) and she just has to use her walker. Your LO may be fine like my MIL. I pray so

I'd say yes, DNR. Recusitation is EXTREMELY hard on an elderly person. I am of the belief that our widespread dementia problems are because we are keeping people alive beyond their expiration date. I say let her go if God calls. They are treating, but if she expires on the table, they won't make her suffer the world further.

You were told by the doctor to take her to the ER for an assessment of her walking?

She must have been experiencing some extreme symptoms for the doctor to send her to the ER, and for her to be admitted.

What else was going on?

Most hospitals always give them seraquil to sleep. See how she is when she gets home. Went thru this with my mom. They like drugging them up at night

I think most people on the site understand what a DNR is - basically "if she dies right now do you want us to try and save her?". Some of this decision is going to depend on how old someone is, what their health was previously and their own stated wishes prior to hospitalization. My mom made her own decision and signed a DNR 10 years ago at age 88, but I would very much resist being pushed to make that kind of choice at a time of crisis for someone unless the choice to let nature take it's course was more clear.

*Usually* a urinalysis is done (with routine blood work) upon admission. IF something shows up on the UA, they'll do a culture and sensitivity to find out what bacterium it is and what antibiotic would be the best.

Ask her hospital doctor if he ordered a UA.

Does she have Parkinson’s? My MIL was getting UTI’s and was “zoning out” and taken to ER for non-responsive by EMTs. She didn’t have pain but the parkinsons led to constipation and hygiene issues, then serial UTIs.

ambly02, I agree with Ahmijoy above regarding a UTI.... let's hope it is something as easy to treat as an Urinary Tract Infection.

Another thing, about 90% of elders who go into the hospital get delirium. Delirium causes a person to become frighten and confused. When you think about it, it's not peaceful at a hospital... all the new noises, the new smells, the bright lights, the food doesn't taste the same, staff poking and prodding at all times at night. Now, 20% of younger patients experience the same thing if they had major surgery.

Doctors see an old woman and think end of life, if she was fine a few days ago then I wouldn't sign a DNR either, there will be time enough for that decision after you figure out what is going on. (((hugs)))

When my mother had a raging UTI, these were her symptoms. I found her when I went to pick her up for a hair appointment. She was passed out in her chair and when she came to she was incoherent and babbling. She was hospitalized for almost a week before they got it under control.

If not a stroke maybe a brain tumor? But that would show on an MRI, right? Hope someone else chimes in.