Mom's cats??

Hey, I never said, Don't re-home the cats! I've re-homed several. I LOVE cats (most of them).
The last cat took months of looking to find a good home. He was a "sweety"...beautiful,neutered, not old and with no bad habits. But the Humane Society here has an arbitrary rule of not taking cats over two years old ( I even offered them a nice donation!). The "cattery" here didn't have room. Other shelters, the same. I put an ad in the paper but will never offer an animal totally for free, fearing the motives of the "adopter". I even checked out surrounding counties.

That said, people have the right to "hate" cats if they want. I think such people suffer from a genetic defect, but that's just my opinion. One thing I firmly believe is that human family relationships take priority!

I am very disturbed by these posts saying to just kill the cats.  That is unthinkable.  The mom can sign a legal written agreement with a local no-kill shelter, pay for a living stipend, so the cats can live out their lives and quite possibly get adopted with another family.  I would not anyone who responded to kill the cats to come near/visit my family; you are not to be trusted.

Someone’s suggestion that peeing in the house may be an indication of a medical problem rather than simply untrained cats is worth looking into but if I’m reading between the lines properly this is not the only issue, a house with 3 cats and 2 dogs along with at least 2 people (one needing some care/help at best) sounds like too much to take on to me too! Perhaps there is a compromise, is there one cat that can live in peace with your dogs and is perhaps better trained that could move in, maybe the other two could either go together or separately to another family member or trusted friend. Your mom could and if possible should be involved in the decision and choice’s. Could the cats be indoor/outdoor cats, would that make things easier or have a separate entrance into and out of Mom’s room?

I do not think you are being selfish at all, you are being thoughtful, planning ahead and realistic even though you obviously want to be able to keep these pets with your mom. It just isn’t always possible and better to see that ahead of time, make thoughtful and major changes all together and good for you considering and trouble shooting ahead of time. If mom can’t be on her own anymore and needs or will soon need to move somewhere, something is going to have to change and happen to the cats whether that’s in with you or somewhere else, it sounds like that is the reality so don’t torture yourself. Just continue to be loving and thoughtful about what that will look like as you well know these cats are important to mom even if she isn’t caring for them as well right now.

keep up the good work!

Cat has urinary tract infection. Vet can fix this. Rescues are full and dhrltrrs. Please keep cats.

I had a similar issue. However in my case, one of our dogs hates cats and would probably try to kill them, and more importantly, my husband is deathly allergic to cats. I tried to find someone who would take them, but it was the middle of summer and none of the rescues had room for 3 adult cats. Two days before we were set to head home from her house I took them to the pound. (Not an easy feat because the cats weren't socialized and my daughter and I had to practically pull the California king bed apart to get them.) Then we drove 30+ miles to the humane society complex. The cats were pretty unhappy (again, not socialized) that the person who took them said they might end up being euthanized - something I have never, ever, ever(!) told my mom. She promised to give then a couple of hours to see how they behaved, but that was all she could do. My daughter and I left, physically and metaphorically never looking back. My mom cried off and on for weeks afterwards. I just kept assuring her that they were beautiful cats (they were indeed) and that some one would adopt them all together. Eventually she stopped mentioning them. I think the last time she said anything about them was a year ago.

I hope better for you, but you have to stand your ground. It's your house. Be firm, but loving and understanding. Do what you can to find a rescue to take them since that is their best chance, but don't rule out having to take them to the humane society. Best of luck!

I volunteered at a local cat (no-kill) shelter for 12 years. Shelters are bulging at the seams and most, if not all, of the workers are volunteers. I can tell you I saw many heartbreaking things. We did have owner-surrenders under the circumstances of an elder-owner who had died or was placed in a nursing home, etc. Most of the time the surrendered cat would hide, shut down, drop weight, and eventually die a slow death. Adopters never looked at them because they were mostly hidden/scared. It was a sad thing to watch.

We did have a woman pass away and her son contacted us about her 12-15 cats she had left behind. He made a donation to the shelter to build a separate cat house for them where they could live out their lives. It was wonderful: basically a portable garden shed with windows, then poured a cement slab next to it around which a screen/wire structure was built so the cats had indoor/outdoor living. Often it was my job to clean that portion of the shelter and the cats were very content being together in that way. After her cats died off (this was about 15 years ago), her "cat house" remained a loving tribute to the woman and her love for her cats and was home to many future homeless cats, many of which went on to loving homes.

I understand money may not allow such a thing. Honestly, in the absence of handing them off to a vetted home, these cats don't really have a future. If you live on acreage or in the country, maybe you could try them as outdoor cats (assuming they are fixed and not declawed). I can tell you it would be kinder than shelter life unless these are young and highly adoptable cats. If you take them to an animal control facility or a shelter, it's probably the end of the line for them. That being said, I can sympathize with your situation and there is no easy answer. My mom took in a neighborhood stray 10+ years ago - when we found it dead last year I was relieved because I was starting to wonder how I would take care of it if mom had to move from her home, as the cat had a rather nasty disposition.

Heres two cats who are sick because old lady didnt know how to take care of them. Now they get punishef further ny killing them. Wow. I work in healthcare and see parents kill off their parents all the time. Hope karma gets them. I have 5 cats who were throw a ways. I put doors on kids playhouse for the leukemia cat. I also have a basement and dpare rooms. Where there is a will there's a way. At least get them vetted and throw them out. Many people feed stray cats. Better thsn killing them due to inconvenience. Had 1 neighbor who was coming to suffocate his cat i found. Said he retired in 2 days and if the cat runs off or dies who cares. The cat did run off. Nobody wantd to die due to inconvenience. When my dad died i said i would buy feed for his horse til the old horse died . my dad loved the horse. I did not send him to the glue factory.

you are a good person to have your mom move in. This is a huge thing to do, and you have to be wise about how "giving" to be.
First of all, there is the cat urine. I tried to buy a house once that was in horrible shape due to cat urine everywhere, especially the basement. We had 4 different remediation companies come in to give estimates. The cost was close to 20K and none would guarantee that the smell would not return. So that kind of damage is a very real thing. I myself would not have 3 cats with urination problems come in and damage my home.
Second, do all you can to find good homes, shelters, etc for your mom's pets. this is a hard choice, but you have to be the grown up here. You are going to have to take care of yourself, your mom, your pets, and I don't know what or who else.
Maybe you can do the cat shed someone suggests below. If you can do that, it sounds like the compromise.
It's never good when someone who can't take care of pets, takes in animals. Now you are having that responsibility thrown on you. All I can say is trust yourself to do the most compassionate thing that you can. That might include bringing them to a shelter and hoping for the best. Honestly, any decision that you make is not one I would judge.

Couldn't you "take the cats to the vet" for their checkup and shots, and have to leave them there (when really you have given them to a rescue after their checkup and shots)? If your parent is in really bad shape and is incompetent, then this is what I would do. If not, then I'd respect their decision and stand firm on my house rules.

Cat's urinating in the house leaves a simple answer: There's no room at the inn.

Many years ago my toddler son was diagnosed with asthma and we had 2 cats (9-yrs old) and had to get rid of them overnight due to him being allergic and going to ER due to asthma triggering. I tried everything to re-home them, even called PETA but even they said they were too old to accept. Back then there weren't any no-kill shelters. Since they were indoor/outdoor cats I found a hobby farmer who was willing to take them but not in the house (they had a barn). Not sure if this is an option for you, and you already have your plate full. I would never take your mom's cats into my home and create extra work and chaos for myself. Whatever solution you finally choose, don't feel guilty over it for 1 minute. You're already a saint for taking care of your mom.

You're trying to move your mom in with you? Have you not read any of these topics on this forum?! What are you thinking?! Get her into an AL that will allow pets. (For what it's worth, I would rather die than leave my two cats.)

I lived with my mom for almost 5 years, took care of her for 7. I took my cat with me to her house and my cat and her dog got along great. The main reason I didn't move my mom to assisted living in all those years was because of the dog. She said often that the dog was her favorite child and I could see that the attachment was huge. The assisted living places wouldn't take the dog. The dog was wonderful, but the home care people and I took care of the dog, cleaned up the yard, fed her, walked her, played with her, took her to the vet, everything, because Mom could no longer remember how to do those things. When the dog died she actually forgot she ever had the dog in about 2 days. I thought she'd be devastated and I guess in a way she was because she went down hill quickly. The dog had helped her to have something to "take care of", even though she did none of the care herself. Exactly 2 months later I moved my mom to assisted living. I think your mom will miss the cats for a while, but maybe she'll bond with the dogs. By the way, vinegar worked best for me to remove cat urine smell. My son's cat did a thing to my house. OMG, how awful it is.

My son's in-laws have ten indoor cats in the house and about 30 outdoor cats that live in the garage during the winter. Her house does not smell as she cleans the litter boxes non-stop. But my son has warned them, if they die first, or move in with them, the cats will not be moving in with them and their four cats. So the in-laws said, "No problem. Since we live a mile down the road we'll just keep (or you guys can) the house and the cats can stay there." It may work for them but glad it's not me having to deal with that.

The humane societies are full of older pets that have been given up for that very reason. The owner is going into a nursing home, having to move or even passes away.  It is a sad situation, but I certainly understand that you cannot take on your mother's pets.  I agree with another poster that it would be easier to mover her to an assisted living facility that allows a cat or dog, but I am sure they come with the stipulation that your mother is capable of taking care of the cat on every level.  I doubt they will allow multiples....

I'm sorry. Good Luck.

There really is no compromise if you can't take them. Hopefully you will be able to find them a loving home. Does your Mom have any friends who would adopt them? If so, perhaps she can visit them. They may have to be separated.

As` a lifelong cat owner and rescue volunteer, I can say that many times, cats urinate outside the box due to a poor , dry food diet that causes bladder inflammation and sometime urinary infection. Switch all the cats to a canned diet, no fish. Fancy Feast CLASSICS are decent. No other foods from your grocery store, they're not very good quality brands. Bring each cat to the vet for a urinalysis, it's easy for the vet to get a urine sample. For 3 cats, you need 2 litter boxes.Keep the litter boxes very clean, scoop daily, unscented litter. This should help very much. When you bring her cats to your house, keep them all together in a separate room from the dogs, with food/water and litter boxes, and allow them weeks or days to adjust gradually. Pets are very important to elders and promotes a healthier mind and body. Best wishes.

Take them to place that someone who is a cat lover can adopt them. Hugs 🤗

I have four dogs. When Mom passed, I inherited my Dad, his two dogs, and her two cats. : ) My Dad's dogs are all he has left, and Mom's cats meant the world to her so I took in everyone. Yes, my house feels like a zoo sometimes, and it can be hard to keep up. I won't lie, some days are overwhelming, but somehow we make it work. My Dad's dogs make him smile, and get up in the morning. My recommendation is to give it a try before separating your mother from her cats. It may not be a bad as you think.

I have my mom's dog and 2 cats to go along with my cat and 5 turtles. I had not planned on getting any more pets after mine died, but I didn't plan to being a POA and Guardian for my mom and for my mom to need for me to be her POA and Guardian, either. So, I signed to take care of my mom, her property and assets. I am honoring all of these things. The cats drive me nuts because they are PIBs. My animals were trained NOT to be PIBs. This is a difficult situation because no one wants them, they are old, and I am old. But...I am always on the side of the animals, so I will endure them. When they are gone, I won't be replacing any of them. They will be reminders of my mom when she is gone, and my mom is a PIB as well. So.....what to do? Endure and honor and promises I made.

If you are not able to bring the cats with mom and can't find a home for them with close friends or family, you should probably have her vet euthanize them. Please do not advertise them as free to a good home! There are vultures out there that regularly look for "free to a good home" animals and collect them to use as dog fight bait, target practice, sell to labs for testing, or just outright torture. Definitely do not post them on Craig's List!!!

If you take them to a local animal shelter, they will still probably be killed but unless they are killed immediately, they will spend their last days suffering. Shelters are like death camps. Unless they are fancy purebred adult cats, there is just not much demand for older cats.

You shouldn't necessarily feel guilty because you are taking in your mom, which is already going to be quite a change for you, but I do feel sorry for your mom. To have her beloved cats taken away, when she is already losing her home & independence, will be just heartbreaking for her and will probably destroy much of her will to live.

The cats can be moved and may not necessarily urinate in a new house, if provided with clean & convenient litter boxes but it already sounds like you just don't want the cats. I won't go into ideas for moving them while making the transition as easy as possible.

Cat dynamics - a tough road to follow sometimes.

In no way am I suggesting you "try" to take the cats in, or trying to "fib" to mom (no mention of dementia, so this isn't likely to work anyway!) I am suggesting ways to perhaps cure or curb the behavior before moving forward. If mom's current residence is her own home, you might be able to try some of the suggestions listed here.

If cats are urinating outside the litter box, there are many reasons why this happens.

*Not neutered and/or not neutered early enough
*Urinary tract issues (infection, crystals, stones, etc.)
*Other medical issues
*Purrsonality conflicts
*Anxiety
*Access to litter boxes
*Cleanliness of the litter boxes
*Distaste of the litter
*Changes in routine/situations in the home

The first step before moving mom (and/or the cats), is to have the cats properly vetted and tested.

The cats should be checked for urinary issues, especially males AND especially if they eat dry food. Other medical issues could also possibly contribute to the problem. Have them vetted and rule everything out.

If no medical issues are found, can you separate the cats, i.e. they get their own room/litter boxes in mom's home?

If the peeing stops, it is likely a behavioral/personality issue and should be noted when finding a home/shelter (preferably no-kill) for them. IF it does stop, try putting 2 together - if peeing resumes, try putting 2 others together. It might be that none of them really get along, or it might just be one who is the "problem child." I had to isolate one cat at a time to figure out who was peeing in my home. Once I determined who it was, it meant giving that cat and her brother (who was the one I knew was "sprinkling" my monitor, TV AND the Feliway dispensers!) their own room.  She and another would actually get into some heated battles before the move! The pee/spray stopped.

I have had experience with these purrsonality issues and separating those who don't get along "cured" the urinating/spraying issues. Currently I have 3 zones, to keep the peace (and pee) under control! It meant using wooden screen doors with pet-proof screening in doorways, to allow light and airflow, but it works!

It could also be litter issues, such as not cleaning the boxes often enough, not having enough boxes or access to them, or even the litter itself.

It could be other behavioral issues, which would be difficult to determine, and should not be your issue. If possible, eliminate the medical/urinary issues, personality issues and litter issues, then document it all before seeking a new home/shelter and provide that information to the new place(s).

It means extra effort on your part to try to determine why the cats have this issue, but it would be better than trying to take them in yourself (not really an option), putting them down or relegating them to a single room in an AL (This actually might make matters worse! Although the AL says having 3 is okay, are they aware of the peeing problems? We have had to pay for extra carpet/chair cleaning for mom's accidents, multiple times, and she has no pets!!!!) As noted, cat urine odor is notoriously hard to eliminate, so this could become a HUGE problem if she moves to AL with the cats and the issue(s) are not resolved first!!

If she refuses to let them all be re-homed/put in a shelter, try to determine the issue and if it resolves for any of the cats, she will have to choose between them - keep the one or two who might get along and stop peeing if the other(s) are removed.

I will also note that while Nature's Miracle sometimes "seems" to work, I found that on "soft" items, which would include rugs/carpets, it is a temporary "fix." Initially the odor seems to be gone, but after it sits a while, the smell does come back. :-( It does seem to work better on hard surfaces, but if it isn't dealt with soon enough and the pee saturates the sub-flooring, it will be difficult/expensive to correct the problem!

My advice to you is to try and find homes for them now. Use your neighborhood message board (e.g., nextdoor.com or every block digest) and talk to somebody one of the no-kill shelters in your area. My mom has moderate to serious short term memory loss. She moved in with us in May 2017 and brought her 6 cats, adding to our pet population of 2 cats and 1 dog. She can't remember to take her own meds but she takes great care of her cats. It would have devastated her to give them up. They provide her with a purpose to get up in the morning and I think they are better company to her than I am!

As far as the cats go, it makes a huge difference where you live; if it is a moderate climate, they might be able to become outside cats. If this is not possible, it's a toughie. The question of mom's current house is an issue as well--if she has had incontinent cats living there, you're in for a nasty mess when it comes to moving her out and dealing with her stuff (which is probably all cat-seasoned.)
If the cats can become outside cats, you might look into a small residential facility with a yard where they could live in a cat house with the understanding that they cannot come in the house at any time.

I agree with some of the others..if she could possibly stay where she is and get her assistance in the home. If not and she must move in with you, you could take the cats the the animal shelter. Most shelters do a great job in finding homes for pets especially if the cats are older....

860,000 cats were euthanized in shelters last year. Shelters and cat rescue groups should be used only as a last resort; they are already overburdened. Your mom loves her cats, and is willing to continue caring for them. It seems like the best compromise is to have her move with her cats to the assisted living facility you found. If you end up rehoming the cats, maybe going through a cat rescue or asking your mom's church(if she has one) to run a notice might be a better first step than dropping them at a shelter.

Also, are you sure your husband is on board with your mom moving in? I get not wanting cats peeing all over the house. But asking someone to give up their pets is pretty intense. It does not sound like someone who is accepting the other person with open arms and an open heart. I'm not saying it judgmentally -- elder care is really, really hard. Harder than kids, harder than pets. Not everyone has the temperament for it and it can bring out all the little fissures and fractures that are already in a person. Maybe this is his signal that he's not ready.

I recommend Robert Kane's "The Good Caregiver." Early on in the book there's a little self-assessment test that gives a sense of what caregiving might mean. It doesn't sound like your mom is in bad shape right now, but the assessment has a really good, short description of what kinds of issues might arise down the road and what you and your husband might want to discuss before you make the decision to move your mom in.

My dad had 8 dogs when I went to rescue him from the h3llhole that his wife left him in.

I felt terrible for the animals, none of which were house trained, most were not spayed or neutered. He wanted to bring them to my home.

(I think that when you are moving into someone else's home because you need help, you lose rights. You don't get to keep things the same. If same was so okay you wouldn't be moving.)

Never gonna happen, I don't live with any creature, 4 legged or 2 legged that uses the floor in my home as a toilet. It is my home and my choice. He asked for help, I was helping him, not all of his animals. I told him that he could bring his little chihuahua that would have died without him.

I wore myself out dealing with that dog, everytime she moved I had to follow her to make sure she wasn't ruining my carpet. I took her out every hour to go potty. All of this after he promised to take care of her. I guess going outside never hit his radar until I spanked her for peeing on a rug. I still had to take care of her but I didn't have to listen to his bs about that dog.

She learned how to ask me to go out and she thrived in my care, honestly I only dealt with her because she was so sweet. But the other dogs were skittish and hiked their legs and ran from everyone, including him. They would have been relegated to the backyard and ended up as owl or eagle food. Calling the animal control was the kindest thing to do.

My husband would never allow cats in our home. I would never ask him to comprise in his own home. I love him enough to honor his rights above all others in our home. It is enough that he was willing to let my dad come, knowing that he is difficult at best.

Your husband comes 1st, not your mom.

You said that you found an assisted living facility that will take her cats. That’s her best option all around. I am wondering though how long before the assisted living starts to complain about the possible damages to the property from three cats or the smell if the cats potty everywhere.

Little dogs do the same thing at times. At the end of my mini schnauzer’s life she had incontinence issues. Their bladders are so small.

I am an animal lover but every single apartment I rented when young I got my damage deposit returned because I left the place in good shape.

I don’t think I would want to rent out property these days to people with a bazillion animals, hoarding, etc.
My aunt and uncle died and my parents rented their home out and it was a nightmare! Some people don’t respect other people’s property.

If the mother moved in with her daughter then the mom needs to compromise and rehome her kitties. Sad, yes but life is sad sometimes for all of us. Have to do what is fair. I don’t think it’s unreasonable not to want the cats.

Cats that urinate everywhere have a problem: urinary infection, no clean litter boxes, old age, or dominance issues (as in marking territory). Sounds like kitties need a trip to the vet to find the source of their problem before moving mom anywhere.

I say unfair.Pets are a sacred friendship in elders lives.Let them have their cats.
You'll have no regrets later on.Please.