My sis and I are in FL and visited our mother in memory care for the first time since our governor opened nursing homes to loved ones. She said her right foot hurt, and while she's usually very difficult and belligerent about everything, she allowed us to look at her feet. We were shocked to discover that during the six months of lock down, her toe nails had grown up over, around and under her toes. We were horrified. We had an unusually good visit with her, but afterwards I immediately notified the nurse administrator. I wish now I had gotten photos, but I wasn't thinking straight. Before posting this I read other Aging Care posts about toe nail care. We know a podiatrist will be necessary at least for the first cut, because of the seriousness of the problem. But I'm terribly concerned Mom will refuse to allow anyone to care for her feet, including my sis or me. When we try to do things for her, like cut her hair, she'll just say, "I'll wait until I get home." I don't know what to do about this.
Maybe your mom will be more receptive to a Podiatrist than she has been when you and your sister want to do anything. So I would leave it in a Podiatrist's hands who may be more able to talk her into it as I'm sure they've dealt with difficult patients before.
My mom is in memory care now after having nearly died of severe dehydration and COVID back in April. Her new facility as well as hospice said her toenails needed attention. Between hospice, the facility and myself we have contacted a mobile podiatrist and they scheduled the visit for the 12th. Maybe you should just get it arranged instead of telling her ahead of time where she may be more apt to say she doesn't need or want it.
If it's as bad as you say, that's not good to continue to let it go. I wish you luck!
There is an Italian proverb "don't put a bandage on your head until it is broken".
I think that applies here and to a lot of elder care.
When I commented on his nails, he immediately shut me down. I only worked for Podiatrists for 11 years, so of course I do not know anything about nail care.
Here in Canada we have both Podiatrists and Foot Care nurses. At the cottage where up until this year Dad spent the summer, I knew there was a Foot Care nurse working out of the medical centre. I called her up and prepaid for an appointment for when Dad would be over there. Dad was willing to have her take care of his toes because the appointment was paid for.
Does the care home have a regular Podiatrist that takes care of the residents' feet? If yes, ask that your Mum be added to the list. Don't tell Mum that you did it, if she asks, you about it, tell her it is one of the services included in her rent.
Also, it is important that her feet are looked after by a trained professional, a Podiatrist or a Foot Care Nurse.
Dad now pays for his own appointment with the Foot Care Nurse. Only once a year, but he claims he cuts his nails at other times.
The surgeon will use a local anesthetic.
It is important that a professional treat your Mom's nails and that no one goes snipping around or causes bleeding. I agree with Tothill.
Podiatrist, Foot Care Nurse, or General Surgeon.
Tell you mother than the toe nails may grow into the soles of her feet. If so the wounds will get infected, gangrene can follow and she may have her feet amputated. It may not be the most likely outcome, but the possibility ought to get her to accept treatment as genuinely important.
Medicare also paid for my mom's routine, regular foot care when she wss in a NH.
As has been mentioned, sometimes medical professionals can get a lot farther than family members.
My mom's feet look like a horror movie, but oddly enough, getting her toenails dealt with was the one thing she never fought us on. She fought when I tried to do it, and when Dad tried. We took her to the podiatrist, and he was simply "the NICEST man, wasn't he?"
Lordy.
Don't avoid trying to help your mom because of how you think she might react. She may surprise you.
Have her Dr prescribe whatever treatment is necessary and refer her to a Specialist immediately.
As bad as you're saying, she will most likely have to be sedated.
In grown toenails can cause horrible pain.
Have this taken care of today.
& don't tell her.
Our parents get away with alot from us, but not an engaging physician they don't.
Go to nurses station.. if you haven't already.
Some states have changed laws about nail care. When my Husband was on Hospice the CNA could cut his fingernails but not his toe nails. I recently heard that they can no longer do fingernails either.
Just tell her that the doctor is going to make a visit and I am sure once she gets into the routine she will get used to it. Also the more the nails are cared for the less pain involved in caring for them.
If she is on a medication for anxiety have the podiatric visit scheduled during a time when she is at her calmest and if she is not on a medication same thing schedule the visit when she is at her best. Maybe even after her shower or bath so she is more relaxed (if a shower or bath relaxes her.)
Our LO's have suffered so much during this pandemic, glad to hear you were able to see yours. I've noticed with my LO before the pandemic that a podiatrist came regularly and was always accompanied by someone from his unit. Maybe your Mom will allow it if someone from her unit, that may be a familiar face to her? Or someone that has a pleasant disposition. I would certainly follow up to make sure she gets taken care of, its easy for them to get passed over. Get the date it is yo be done. Follow up the next day it was actually done. You would be surprised.
I've seen first hand what can happen at facility care even when they know full well visitors may spot neglect or abuse. It makes my heart break to think about what might be going on if they know that no one will see it. Even if some of the patients complain, think about how many of will be dismissed by family because they have a little memory issue.
This particular post should light a fire under anyone's butt who has a loved one in a facility to become a better observer of overall care. If you don't live close, then hire someone to make visits, check the person for neglect, etc. Otherwise move them closer to where you live so you can do it in person. Too many drop by for a visit, chat it up a bit, and leave feeling they did their duty. There's more to it. Even with covid, ask for medical records on a regular basis that documents bathing, bedsore checks, TOENAILS (who'd have thought you would have to follow up on that!!), and medicine charts.
This post is so alarming to me. It kind of indicates lack of visitation was small compared to the potential of neglect and abuse.
I would have the nurse or facility’s administrator put in a request for nail care and tell her it’s part of her treatment.
Then tell your mom y’all are having a girls day which includes pedicure & manicure. Maybe do a picnic or some other fun stuff while visiting. Hopefully that would ease her into willingness to have her feet done.
Best of luck and hope it goes well.