Brother is threatening to sue. She told me I could take whatever I wanted. I didn't take much. but brother had sent me an email saying "you cannot take anything or sell or give away anything". He lives out of state and has been an absent son for 30 years. anyway.. my mom has the right to let me take what ever I want , right? She had made a list years ago of things she wanted to give us. but her verbal permission has more weight than that list since she is alive , right? My brother is POA. He doesn't communicate with me.. Does he have to share any financial reports?
Since you don't have POA, it may be best not to sell anything unless the money goes directly to your mother.
Has your mother been judged to be incompetent by a court?
It isn't enough for her to have said to you that you can take anything you like; and if you just think this through you'll see why. Anybody can say "oh but mother said I could", can't they? And who's to know whether mother did or not, and whether mother understood all the implications of what she said or not?
Your brother will be held accountable for what happens to your mother's money and property. Send him a list of every single item that you have removed from your mother's house, and if he still wants you to give them back then do so. You may find that if they genuinely have no significant monetary value he will decide not to bother.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/have-to-get-lawyer-to-designate-power-of-attorney-195244.htm
So those things previously promised in writing are what you are taking.
Have mother sign an adendumn stating you are receiving lisied items since she no longer wants them. and you are to currently to take posession of previously gifted items for safekeeping. as per her stated wishes make copy put origional in safe deposit box for your own safety inc take picture of all paperwork with your phone as adendumn have statement noterized inc clause a digital image with le ledgeible notary seal shall suffice as and or copy of said document shall be same as presentation of origional document.
Then if someone wants to get crazy and tear something up then smile and say oh well.
You are as stated above also her poa so you can directly petition for accountability to whereever money spent where is suspose to be spent for funds inc bank.
who is fuduciary.
who is healthcare. An accountability is reasonable if he is fuduciary and you healthcare. To know what funds available left for continued longterm healthcare to maintain in assisted living. Have everything receipted and noterized 10.00 notary fee is worth years of headache. Is she cognizative. Even if not you are cleaning out and was already gifted so gifting would go from the date of gift on letter of gift. She relinquished legal and items were in her posession for safekeeping until her demises. It is her option to have you safe keep the items she bestowed upon you . she needs to sign document for you to take posession for safekeeping of said items.
Are you going to rent her residence or are you staying there.
That can make diff. The items were gifted to years ago. If you co habitate then they in your posession. but you said you took them. so I assume you arent living in residenc. You had been gifted date of letter upon date.of letter. Famous words get it in writing. better yet get it noterized
It seems her personal effects would have been handled when she went into a nursing home or if she has passed. I have a POA for my 89-yr-old mother and I am unaware of any part of it that addresses disposition of personal effects. You might seek the advice of an elder care attorney and take your mother's trust with you for review, if she has one.
And for mom to have to " leave it to your brother to decide whether you can be given items without creating problematic financial considerations further down the line" is just more of that same attitude---- MOM is the one who gets to decide what she wants to give, or not give, to anyone.
EVEN IF there are written lists that she may have given an Executor, mom is ALWAYS free to give items on those lists away to anyone she chooses, at any time. If there are written lists, for use after mom's death, it does NOT mean that everything she wrote down, is still in existence---there is this thing called "Ademption" and it means, if mom already gave something away, prior to death, that item is no longer available as part of those written lists, and this is all perfectly legal.
The reason I am a bit impassioned about this, is a similar situation with my own dear mom, who had her mind about her, and she did give away some jewelry, furniture, art, and other items, BEFORE death, and she really enjoyed doing so. However, there were prior written lists she had given to Executor, and of course there were some "hurt" feelings, but the legal definition of Ademption cleared that all up. Nobody was forced to return any of those gifts---precisely because mom gave them away prior to death, and there were other relatives present when she did the gifting, and she was not pressured to give. LIKEWISE she was not pressured NOT to give--and that appears to be what is happening in the original poster here. A senior, or anybody, is always FREE to give what they want.
Medicaid does in fact enter into the situation with the look-back, but they are not going to make a fuss over a chest of drawers, an old couch, or some pearl earrings. If there were a BMW worth 50,000 which was given away, then there might be concern. But for general household goods and some jewelry (not talking about the expensive stuff), Medicaid is NOT going to give a rat's arse about mom gifting that away.
Does you Mother know that you are worried about this? If she has the where-with-all maybe you could work out a solution with her. She might want to secure the gifts to you or change the Power of Attorney to include you or be with you. You don't know until you ask her.
But in any case all this was before I read the OP's profile, which states that she and her brother have joint POA.
We don't know whether the mother is competent or not.
We don't know what the approximate value of the 'few things' was.
We don't know whether the mother is so well-funded privately that she will never need to worry about Medicaid applications.
So you can't responsibly just agree with the OP and say 'well if mother said so you go right ahead, take what you like, and tell nasty brother to go to h*ll.' That might work out fine, but it might well not. There are important points to consider, beyond what the OP says mother says.
Questions that might be appropriate: Given that she needs assisted living, is your mother able to properly judge her long-term financial needs? Does she understand the impact of reducing her assets at this stage in her life? Was the list made when she was of sounder mind?
For some time now I've asked visiting aides to return to me anything that Mom gives them because she had become impulsive, handing over to people things that we needed for daily life. She's 98, has dementia and assorted other ills. As POA, I need to protect her from herself.
Blessings to your family for a peaceful resolution of this conflict. It can't be doing your mother any good to have you and your brother at odds and her in the middle.