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Anyone who allows herself to live in such conditions is clearly not in her right mind. That means (probably) advanced dementia or mental illness. You might as well stop trying to reason with her because she can’t understand . She’s sick. She needs more help than cleaning her house.

Start by involving social services. Good luck.
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If you could convince here there are special companies that do toxic waste removal. Search "Feces/Urine Cleanup Services" = $$$

But you already stated she won't allow anyone to help clean, so why exhaust yourself thinking she'll magically be a different person if you present her with a different solution?

Does your Mother have a medical diagnosis of dementia? Does she have a PoA? If not, it may be best to just contact APS and report her. They will take care of her mess and find a facility for her.
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ArtistDaughter Sep 2023
Yes, yes, yes. Do this. My brother was living in this sort of condition, but we didn't know, as he wouldn't allow anyone in his house. We only found out after he called an ambulance and was taken to ICU with massive infection and heart failure. We called a company that cleaned his sort of mess. Pretty much the entire upstairs had to be gutted. He never went back home. Maybe you can save your mom from what my brother suffered.
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Has your mother been diagnosed with any cognitive decline?
are you mom's POA?
If mom is competent and you are not (or somoene else is not) POA that should be taken care of in case the need arises.
Self neglect is reportable as "Elder Abuse" so you could take that route and see what happens, would a "non family" person get through to her that she needs to change her living conditions?
The other solution would be have someone take mom out for the day and hire a cleaning crew to come in and clean the house/apartment.
(when you hire cleaning crew thell them the situation that they will be tackling.)
Be prepared to have to do this again and again if the conditions do not change.
She obviously needs help and if that help is not accepted nothing will change.
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"Mom I can't stand this and it makes me sick to visit, so we get someone in here or I can't visit anymore" nuff said. Then call a cleaning place that works with insurance companies after disasters.. they have seen it all, One is called Scene Clean, but I am sure if you call your insurance agent they can recommend a local company.
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