She can't get services and she is well off. Let's just say she has money and I am suffering. I lived with my 100 yr. old grandma for 7 yrs and now she can't be left alone. I am also struggling to take care of my son. What do I do? I can't pay my bills and going in debt. I am the only one out of 6 grandchildren who takes care of her, no one visits or talks to her. 7 yrs ago, my mom asked me to take care of her, I dropped out of college, rerouted my son's school, and moved 500 miles away from my immediate family. I kept my promise to my mom even though she passed from cancer 3 yrs ago. A month ago, I lost my dad and I couldn't be with him, because I was taking care of my grandma. I am getting depressed because of this. My grandma's 89 yr old brother is her POA and pays her bills. I approached him about it and he tells me she doesn't have the finances, but I believe that to be untrue. I know what my grandma has and in no way am I using her for financial gains. In no way the amount I desperately need per months breaks her piggy bank. What do I do? I can't even work because I can't leave her alone. Just recently I helped her recover $ 6,300 in assets and thought she would be able to help me and she says no!!! That was my mom's money. I can't take it anymore!!!
The situation can become quite skewed when you are the one needing the care. Of course, parents might not necessarily set out to take advantage of their children or grandchildren but they DO have the expectation that they are to be taken care of, without further regard for the sacrifice. My sister similarly has completely sacrificed several years of her life that she will never get back but unfortunately through guilt / not being able to say 'no', she is in that situation. Your GM and her POA may not see the situation with as much clarity as jessy2you has communicated to us.
I agree that jessy2you, you are being taken advantage of. You have your future and that of your son to think about. Your GM seems to have the means to pay for her care, and even if she doesn't, it is HER responsibility (and all of ours) to assure we plan well for the time that we cannot care for ourselves.
I see nothing 'holy' of their behavior, but rather you have selflessly given of yourself for her. I wish you peace and further clarity moving forward. Please keep us posted. I am amazed at the number of responses in this short period of time from this great group.
Give them notice as suggested, and go to the local college to see what sort of programs they have for Displaced homemakers. You may well be able to go back to school, plus have financial aid services for you and you son, including scholarships and housing if necessary! You may be able to stay in and live with you Grandmother, and continue your relationship, depending on how they receive the news, but you deserve a bright future! Make yourself happy and your Son Proud, Go after it Girl!
Seriously, without a care giver agreement, you have no legal ground to stand on. I feel so, so bad for you.....and the truth is that people that age are so stingy.
Do you have a friend or cousin your own age that could let you stay with them a couple of months until you find a job? What part of the world do you live in. In most places, there are decent jobs to be had. Get on the waiting list for low income housing, see human services and sign up for CHP insurance for your son. Get on Food assistance until you find work. File your OWN taxes ASAP for You and YOUR Son for the year 2017, since you were given NO income from Gramma or the evil uncle. Run to a tax place and you should get enough earned income credit to have a little rent money for a very short time until you find work....GOODNESS sake, you could probably walk into any nursing home in the US and find work as an aid or attendant, doing what you are doing now for at least $11 an hour, and have a job by next week.
I wish you all the best. Do this for your son...and you....do not put it off.
Ask God for wisdom, strength and open doors of opportunity as you seek for now at least a temporary place to live, raise your son, find a job and at some point return to college while great uncle tends to his responsibility concerning your grandmother. Not your party, not your problem. If they don't like it, then they can build a bridge and get over it. Anyway, I would take no prisoners and get out of there as soon as realistically possible! I wish and pray the best for you and your son.
I assume that your son's father does not send child support? Do you have friends from college that you could connect with again? Do you have any siblings? Are you good friends with any of your cousins?
I think the priest of your grandmother's church should be informed of what is going on and that you need his help in finding somewhere to live, at least temporarily while you look for a job.
Do you have a car?
I don't care how many times a day they say the rosary, they are exploiting this grandchild.
I know many religious people who are kind, charitable, and who at least try to practice what they preach. Those who do not make me sick.
jeannegibbs, Amen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You're doing a TON more service and good by caring for GM than by going to church everyday. IMHO.
You can, and should be self-reliant. I would try to get reimbursed for back wages, and possibly pull the "Gma shouldn't have been taking us as dependents all these years" as a tiny threat that you could have her reported to the IRS for fraud.
I know you don't want to do that--but sometimes you have to rattle the branches of a tree.
You need to take care of you and your son. POA GU can handle grandma. Do what others have suggested and pick a move out date and go. Even if it's a tiny gov't subsidized apartment, you can get back your life!!
Now if gma agreed to pay Jessy a living wage on the condition that Jessy would pay 2/3 of the household expense for herself and her son, then she could claim herself and her son and gma could not claim either one of them. And Jessy would then be eligible for the child tax credit (depending on Isaac's age), and the earned income credit, as well as both her and her son's exemptions. But as long as gma is paying all the household expenses (and Jessy isn't working for pay anywhere else), gma's entitled to all the exemptions.
Someone must have GM's credit card for household purchases.
So they trust you with all of GM's care but have not provided you with a credit card? More proof that you are being exploited.