this has been the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.. watch my mom slowly slip away. God I’m going to miss her voice, her touch, her encouragement… this is just a different type of pain and hurt. Thank you all for the encouraging messages on my post.
The loss of our parents is so profound. And something that Jane Fonda said so long ago when her Dad, Henry died, always rang so true for me. We know we are alone. We know we are "next up" in the line. We understand we will go, as well, and it is a shock along with the loss of all the love and support.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am so glad the passing was peaceful and without trauma. My heart goes out to you. Give yourself all the time you need and be gentle with yourself.
And of course you're hurting and heartbroken, as you apparently had a good mom who is worth being heartbroken over.
But please take comfort in the fact that your mom is now at peace and can suffer no more, and make sure that you're now taking the proper care of yourself as your mom would want that.
May God bless and comfort you in the days, weeks and months ahead.
It has been 54 years since my Dad died.
I still miss their voice, their encouragement.
But there are times when I feel and hear them. So they may be gone from this earth but they are in my heart and mind. Not all the time cuz that would be creepy but when I need them I will talk to them and ask advice.
I had a long discussion with them when my Husband was dying.
The pain will lessen, it will still be there but it is like a deep wound.
It hurts like the dickens when it happens but gradually it scabs over. For a while it is real easy to break that scab and cause hurt. But slowly the scabs gets smaller and smaller and soon you are left with a scar. That scar is sometimes angry and red and you remember the hurt but most of the time it is just there a gentle reminder.
Your grief will change
Give yourself all the time you need.
It has been 7 years since my Husband died and I still have days where I feel the pain and hurt but most of the time aa day is just another day.
I do understand your feelings as my Mom died in February, my Dad died 5 years prior. I took care of them for a decade in my home. And I am so very glad and proud that I could take care of them. Do, I still grieve? occasionally, but The bitter pain does lessen.
In time, you'll find ways to re-connect to normal life with things you enjoy.Since it had been a decade of caring, I slowly reconnected with everyday life by
walking my dog in different areas of town to see more people, joined a church, workout, and volunteer.
The weirdest thing I've experienced since re-connecting to "normal" life. Is that clothing sizes have changed. I would just order size 12 online and everything fit just fine...The first few times that I've gone into a store, size 12 still fits but before care-giving size 12 was a large and in stores now, size 12 is a medium.
I'm still the same lovable chunk that I've always been.
I guess we all think our folks are going to live forever. Of course that's not possible.
Take care of yourself and allow the grief to come. It will lessen over time.
Be GLAD you had a great mom and great relationship with her!! Many are not so lucky.
You'll always love and miss her, but I promise, you will smile again. Just breathe and take your time with your grief. There is no mourning period.
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