Follow
Share

My 84 y/o wife was discharged from hospital requiring at least sub-acute rehab to improve her balance, strength, range of motion, walking or self-propelling a wheelchair. I can assist in her bathing, toileting, dressing at home, but she will need a 'handler' to competently help her into and out of bed, getting into and off a chair, couch and toilet seat. I could be the assistant to the handler, but not the lead.

Your Wife ‘resists inpatient rehab’ because she thinks that she has a better option – going home. She probably assumes that things at home will be much the same as they were before the episode that took her to hospital. You can only manage this by making rehab her best option. Tell her bluntly that if she refuses it and gets no better, she will need a Nursing Home permanently. Extra care for long hours at home, with you as an assistant to the handler, will be staggeringly expensive and you both can’t afford it.

If you do decide to try home care, you should consider splitting your finances, to protect your half of your joint assets for your own future care. Make it clear to W that this is what it would take. The home care will only be able to continue until her half of the assets is used up. Then it's Medicaid with no options. The bitter truth (probably with tears for both of you) is the only thing that will work to change her mind about trying rehab.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to MargaretMcKen
Report

Please do not be shy about telling your wife you cannot do this on your own, at all. It will result in you being injured without a doubt. Then you will certainly be no good to your wife. Her wishes are not your commands. Tell her because you care for her she absolutely must go to inpatient rehab, and if she doesn’t progress enough to be able to do a good amount of self care in a home setting, it won’t be possible for her to return. It broke my dad’s heart to tell my mother this news, but there was simply no choice. He couldn’t handle her level of caregiving needs post stroke in a home setting. Sometimes there are tough realities for us all. I hope you’ll guard your own wellbeing so you’ll be available for your wife
Helpful Answer (4)
Reply to Daughterof1930
Report

If you’re in her age range or higher, there’s no way you can do this yourself.

She needs to understand fully WHY it is to her advantage to really TRY in rehab. As long as someone is progressing, the longer Medicare pays. Most advantage plans pick up the remainder.

If she fails rehab, the truth is that you’ll have to have somebody besides you to help lift dw onto the toilet. It will be 24/7 care that at 20 an hour is about 250k a year.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to PeggySue2020
Report

If she refused going to Rehab, she could have gotten in home help. She would get PT and OT and an aide 2 or 3x a week to help her bathe. Medicare covers this. But its not a permanent solution. Wife is a 2 person assist, it seems, so no Assited Living Will take her. To have the assistance you would need would be hiring someone for at least 12 hrs a day. No one can be hired to just be there when u need them. If you can't afford this, she may need to go to LTC.
Helpful Answer (1)
Reply to JoAnn29
Report

Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter