I guess I'll go first with this one.
The thing that stands out the most for me about MIL with alzheimers.......
Everything is ALL ABOUT HER. I could cut my arm off and be bleeding on the floor right beside her and she would worry about who was going to bring her a cookie.
I am treated as" a nothing" in her world.
Then I feel guilty for thinking she's an old battleaxe.
Well that's my confession.
How about yours?
Or Mom is sick and I can't leave her.
Driving 50 miles round trip every day
No days off
Not knowing what to say when told "maybe your brother can stop by more often"
I am thankful that my dad is still in relatively good health though, and I really shouldn't be complaining.
".... Mom and I do not speak much. I feel that she resents that I am her caregiver. Her happiest time of day is when my brother calls and asks for money. I hear her talking with my husband and she is so chipper. I come downstairs and ... nothing. I've been a good a faithful daughter. I thought it would be a special time for us. Now I dread it and feel guilty. Mom is easy to care for. "
This, so much, this. My mother spends most of her time giving my angry stares and refusing to speak to me. But when the dog walks into the room she cheerfully converses with him. "Oh, Riley, there you are. How was your day? etc" Her caregivers and everyone she meets tell me what a sweet lady my mother is. But she is never that person for me. And, yes, I also have a brother who only calls when he needs money and boy does she light up when he calls.
I do believe that she resents me for taking care of her. Ironic, isn't it?
The only thing that works lately is denial.