My dad and his wife are in their 90's. Dad has 24/7 care with various caregivers. Dad's wife was diagnosed with either colon blockage or colon cancer; she won't tell us but we know she is going through immunotherapy and sleeping every time I visit dad (weekly). I have always gone to all of dad's dr appts and it is usually the 3 of us (me, dad, dad's wife). She did not attend his last appointment which was at the independent living facility (she went to get a haircut instead). She is not going to his neurologist appointment (for his dizziness) and she wants the caregiver to attend because "she has all his info so will need to be included in visit with doc". This "info" is a written list of his blood pressure readings, that's it. I visit him every week (I live 2 1/2 hours away) and go to every doctor appt. I also had to take over when she was in the hospital for over 2 weeks and straighten out the mess with his meds. This caregiver doesn't know what med's he's taking as another caregiver sorts them into a pill box. She's there 3 days a week for 12 hours each of the days.
Curious if this is normal, for the caregiver to attend a dr. appt when the patient's family is there. I would be interested to hear some opinions on this. Thanks!
You're driving 2 1/2 hours and back for every doctor appointment? That's admirable. I don't think I would be that invested in either of my parent's medical appointments.
There's an easy way to keep track of medications and inform the doctor;
Make a written list. Every medication, the dosage, and when taken.
Keep a copy with the pill organizer, and send a copy to the doctor.
When the doctor appointment is concluded, I think they can hand the patient, or whoever accompanies them, a written summary of what was discussed, what the current course of treatment is, any recommendations, etc. Basically an updated report of the patient's condition. Save these in a folder or a binder. And if you can not be there, ask for this to be shared with you.
From your question, I get the sense that it bothers you that this lowly caregiver is part of an important meeting, while you, (Family) are there. You don't spend as much time with your father as the caregiver does. She may be low-paid and seem unimportant, but she is an extremely important part of his life and has an extremely important job. She has eyes on him 3 times a week for 12 hours at a time. Be glad to have her input. She will notice any change in your father's condition and respond to it long before you will know about it.
I would only have the caregiver be his transportation to his appointments if they are too frequent and you don't need to make those long trips. You can also suggest he hire a Geriatric Care Manage rather than have a caregiver do it. Caregivers (especially if they are from agencies) can quit and then what?
Does his wife have adult children who are her PoA? If she doesn't have one, or it's your elderly Dad, then this will eventually become more of a problem as she becomes sicker.
They won't remember anything when they get home. I've seen it many times. It makes the hassle and expense of a Doctor visit a waste of time and money. Especially with a Specialist! I would take a notebook and pen, and have a few questions (that the patient will forget to ask, of course).
It doesn't matter who, just someone as backup ears.
Later when it was just my Dad (Mom had passed), and times when I couldn't take Dad to an appointment, I had his daytime caregiver, who was more than happy, to take him and sit in at the appointment. Then as soon as they got home, the caregiver would call me at work with what was discussed. Now, Dad's day time caregivers were women in their 60's, who had taken care of their own Dads and were familiar with different issues such as mild dementia, high blood pressure, etc. so I felt comfortable doing this.
I can see the caregiver going if family is not there, but I will be there. Just not sure she needs to attend. I don't think she will have anything to add to the appointment.