My grandmother is almost 89 years old. She has been diagnosed with vascular dementia, and has been declining within the past 5 years. For about 3-4 years now, she has been in a memory care/nursing facility. A couple months ago, she had a stroke. It was considered moderate, but left her unable to swallow, walk, talk, etc. She doesn't show any reactions or emotions- doesn't seem to recognize anyone, show signs of pain, cry, etc. After her stroke (because she couldn't swallow), we had a feeding tube put in to see if she would make any improvements with swallowing, talking, moving, etc. She has not. Doctors estimate that she swallows 20% of her pureed food daily. She is being supplemented with the feeding tube. She is under palliative care, and they have asked if we would like to move her into hospice care. They said that if she is in hospice care, they would wean her off of the feeding tube, and focus on solely keeping her comfortable. They said that she IS medically stable- she is not actively dying, and not rapidly declining. I (and my family) do not want to prolong her suffering, or for her to merely "exist". We are unsure if we should or should not put her into hospice care and wean her off of the feeding tube. I'm so afraid that if we pull the tube, she will starve to death. I do not want her to feel hungry, starving, etc. I couldn't imagine a worse death for her- to slowly waste away. Palliative care made a comment about how sometimes when the remove the tube, the patient will try to eat more on their own, which further makes me think that they feel horribly hungry and malnourished. I DO NOT WANT THAT. Ugh. Does anyone know if there is a way that hospice care can make them NOT feel hungry, etc? My grandmother is the most important person in this world to me. I want to make sure that she is absolutely comfortable and not suffering in any way when she passes. I want a dignified end for her. Please help.
Never an easy decision, but one you should make as if you were making it for yourself. What would YOU want your end of life experience to be like, if you had the choice?
Sending you hugs and a prayer for peace.