My brother knew what the will stated yet he said that my mother "told "
him to take all the money. He was the power of attorney, trustee of a Medicaid trust and the executor. He feels entitled to it because he provided most of the care to my parents since he lives in the same state.
I believe the attorney told him to put my name on any accounts, but he did not. I am really struggling with this because it was a lot of money.
I really prefer not to sue him because he is my brother, suing will be costly and I do't know if time has run out in terms of my ability to sue him.
I live in New York, if that helps. Thanks for listening.
Your brother has no right to change your mom’s wishes. Hire a good attorney.
I don't understand why the will wasn't probated (does having a trust with JUST a coop in it mean that the will doesn't get probated? That doesn't seem right.)
Did you ask your brother for an accounting of the money that he "took" (was this when dad died, or when mom died, more recently?)
I know everyone is saying "get a lawyer and sue". Good eldercare attorneys in NYC cost at least $500 an hour. Have you had a consult with one, explained the situation clearly and perhaps asked her/him to write a letter to brother, asking for an accounting?
Is the coop in the process of being "sold"--or more accurately, transferred? Will you see some financial benefit from that?
It seems, reading between the lines, that mom and dad were on Community Medicaid and had caregivers coming in to the home (this is very common in NYC, where you CAN get 24/7 aide coverage provided by Medicaid). The assets that they had would had to have been limited in order to qualify; either they spent those assets down to qualify or your brother "held" them.
It seems to me that you want an accounting of that money, which as others have pointed out, may not be very much.
I hope that you can speak to your brother and resolve this. We had a poster here a while back who ended up no longer speaking to a brother; if I recall the story correctly, the poster asked her sibling who was the executor of the will for something and he said "I can't do that." It turned out that LEGALLY, he couldn't do what was being requested; she thought he meant that he WOULDN'T do it.
It ended badly. Listen with an open mind and have someone else listen along with you.
As you mentioned, NYS Medicaid has a very high resource allowance & provides a ton of in-home services that other states Medicaid flat do not do. (So lucky you!) For ‘22 resource allowance is $24,600, for ‘20 was $23,100. Guessing in 2016 in $20/21K range. So for her parents to be eligible for Community Medicaid back then they needed their resources to be in 20K range. The Brother - I’ll bet a case of Prosecco - spent down &/or moved their $ into NYS pool (excess income trust) so that the folks could be eligible for Medicaid. The OP mentions there’s something that their income is going into, I bet it’s NYS pool. The pool, if I’m not mistaken, can drawn down $ to use for copays or reinbursement and is a way for excess $ to stay exempt for Medicaid rules and upon death excess stays in the “pool”. By the time 2022 comes around, imo all their $ is gone & used for care or cost of living stuff as that co-op Board is going to have residents pay for maintenance, etc. Whatever $$$ existed in 2014 that her mom spoke with her about has been spent w/maybe $24,600 as a resource maximum left in ‘22. Something was left as Bro is TOD / POD on bank accounts, BUT only he was named beneficiary on them. If it’s TOD / POD, it passes outside of probate. No need for a will to be filed or probate opened….. co-op in the MAPT, bank accts TOD, other $ in state pool.
By her Bro doing a MAPT in ‘16 basically now co-op shares can transfer to her & Bro with zero ability for State / Medicaid to ever attempt any type of estate recovery. They can easy peasy split the $ from co-op “sale” of the shares... no MERP, no haggling, no probate needed. Way fortunate.
NYS is the most generous State when it comes to resources and Medicaid eligibility towards those “at need”. Meanwhile there is someone on this forum that is currently having to find documentation on every spend over $200 for her husband’s Auntie’s Medicaid application in Texas….
am I missing something here?