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Request a "wellness call" from the authorities. They can make the assessment of hoarding, etc. Then, since your mom has dementia at age 93, petition for legal guardianship -- you and your sisters can decide who will be the petitioner. Go from there. It's a big responsibility but someone has to be her guardian, at age 93 and the circumstances you describe.
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Lauren ; I am curious to know if you found a solution to your situation? ?It just seems so much like my own life ....and all that we have been through with my Aunt with the hoarding and everything .
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Oh my. Im the youngest and the caregiver. My older sister is paased and my older brother is oblivious and absent. He came to my home without notice on the way back home from his vacation with his wife. Me and my mother helped raise his kids, but none care about us. I'm doing it all but I'm the scapegoat and get no respect or thought. On top of that my neice and her family discussed inviting us to her wedding but thought it would be too much drama. I think they are ashamed of my mother's condition.
So I know where you come from on all fronts.
Don't forget she's your mother. I think the room(can you add a bath too) is a great solution. If your mom's house is paid off have her come for stays. If you can get c her house(not throw out)just clean while she's "visiting" that would help in multiple areas. Eventually she can stay longer and longer and it doesn't have to be called a move. You be the bigger person. It's usually us youngest siblings that are the caregivers.I think thats God's plan. Pm me if you want. Hope this helps. The less my brother and his spoiled family are in our lives the better for us.
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