I have been a caregiver for both of my parent for several years. I am not very old though as I am in my early 30s. I have put my life on hold for the most part.
They both smoke and refuse to smoke outside. The smoke in my laundry room. They took over most of the house and I just get the basement. My mom has severe COPD and is on oxygen. They both have mobility issues.
I try to be understanding but it is a daily fight. I cannot tolerate cigarette smoke as I am allergic and have a rare autoimmune disorder which flares from cigarette smoke. They often leave the door open and this room is off the kitchen and barely crack the window because it is cold outside.
It was my understanding they were going to occasionally going to smoke in there in front of a window and go outside when it was nice. This has not been what has happened. I get a space in a small basement and can’t stand to be in the rest of the house as it smells awful. The smell often makes it downstairs.
She is a compulsive shopper and he is a hoarder. They have filled the whole 2 car garage with junk they agreed to get rid of. Some of it has been due to a lot of work by me. They have very little money and most they spend on cigarettes.
Mom has had pneumonia for a year and half. I think it is from her COPD worsening. They both have had strokes and have spine problems. She also is incontient and needs a fecal sac.
I need help. Am I being unreasonable asking them to smoke outside. There is a deck right off the sunroom. I am miserable and I they don’t seem to happy to follow the rules.
I pay 85% of the cost and they pay the rest. They put money towards the down payment since the house would of been more than I could afford without it. Housing here is expensive.
This works so well that my mom, who is an ex smoker thought I didn't smoke in my house. I laughed and said only out of courtesy to you, actually I didn't want to listen to her biotching about the smoke. But it does take care of the smoke and odor.
I think that them risking blowing the house up is a huge problem. I think I would ask them if they even gave a crap about me. Their bad habit risks your health and welfare and that doesn't seem to bother them. Would they prefer to be in a facility? Because quite frankly that is where they will end up if your immune system goes crazy from constant exposure to irritants.
I used to have a sign in my office that said, "Second hand smoke is the result of your habit, excessive urination is the result of mine. I don't mind breathing your second hand smoke if you don't mind me peeing on your head."
Oh btw, I quit smoking 10 years ago and recommend it. I feel so much better. I used e cigs that look like cigarettes and taste like them, none of that vaping flavors business.
Good luck, it is a terrible habit that is hard to break because it truly increases the serotonin in your system.
I smoked in the past for a couple of year but it made me extremely sick so I quit and my doctor told me to make sure to stay away from all sources of second hand smoke since I have a vascular disorder.
Also so I am in the least expensive area for the city. It also wasn’t my idea rather it was theirs.
Obviously I can’t force them to move. So what options do I have. I already asked them to move. They do not want to move or live in apartment and even if I have them to down payment they couldn’t afford a senior apartment here as most of them are very expensive. They have no retirement at all on SS.