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In familiar surroundings it is hard to tell a change but at someone else's home you can see the decline more. My mom has been at our home for almost a year when I take her back to her home you really notice a difference.
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Alzheimer's and dementia can be very unpredictable.
When my Mom was first diagnosed in her late 70's, she began to forget things, but functioned normally.
It wasn't until her final few years that her short term memory was completely gone.
But she still remained fully aware and could remember things like her old address, SS number, and friends and family.
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Hi everyone, it's been awhile since I've been on this website, but sometimes I read something and it hits a cord, like today's topic. My mother is eighty three and is slowly showing signs of dementia. I've been living her for the last couple of years, so I can really see the changes. I have two sisters that leave most things up to me. My oldest handles her finances for her. She opened an account with both my sisters on it , but not me. My mom told me that my sisters don't trust me. I have never gave them reason not to. I'm losing it. I have a husband of thirty three years that we had to put on hold to take care of both mils. So, needless to say, I am done. I'm disgusted that all I do is taken for granted. I spoke with my sisters about the situation and I told them I want out, that I did as much as I can before I totally lose it .my sisters are taking me for granted they do everything without me which really hurts. Here I am in a very isolated house and it's just mom and me . I'm fifty four and am ready to get back to my husband
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pargirl,

That is a very moving story. I am so sorry that you and your family and mom have had to go trough this. It takes a lot of courage to say that you are praying for your mom to go--but I do understand.

Hang in there.
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We started seeing symptoms in my mom about 14 years ago with little misunderstandings, memory, hiding things, etc. but she was still functioning and living at home with my dad. She was still dressing beautifully, eating well, and going out socially but still there was something off. About 12 years ago when my son got married is when we really saw a change in memory. Still functioning at home but lots of memory issues. 7 years ago it started going downhill. Temper, memory, cooking or not/eating, and hygiene. 5 years ago after my dad's heart attack is when she derailed and had to be put into a facility. She just didn't understand his condition, didn't remember he had had it for more than 2 minutes (would ask where he was or get mad because he had been gone for such a long time). I would remind her that he was in the hospital or he couldn't take her out to eat because he had had a heart attack and she would tell me "Well, I KNOW that!!". Then she would turn to him (in bed) and tell him to get up and let's go eat. It was horrible. It was hard at first in the facility but she acclimated well after a couple of mos. and that was her home. After several falls due to her being a pacer all night she has landed in a wheelchair and hospice came in because she was seeming to decline. For the last 2 years, she has been just about the same. The longest 2 years. She knows my dad and myself but only speaks rarely in jibberish. Hospice will probably not be with her very much longer because she is stable and not declining. ONe of my best friends mother just went into a facility and has declined steadily. She has only had the disease for about 5 years. Each of our mom's are 90. Long story short, as others have said each person is so very different. I pray every day for the Lord to take my mom. She was one of the sweetest, smartest and best mom I know. It tears me up to see her like this. I can't even tell her that my sister, her oldest daughter passed 2 years ago. I DO believe that traumatic events can exacerbate memory problems. Just keep an eye on medications too. Lots of things can affect memory. Doesn't always have to be Dementia/Alz. It can just be age. My dad is doing really well for a man of 92. Still living on his own, driving (which he only drives in a 3 mile radius and will stop very soon) but his memory is starting to slip (heck so is mine, 63 :) and it's not dementia it's just plain ol aging. Sorry this is so long, but it will give you and others another side of someone else's story. Good luck and God Bless
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Dad's had dementia (vascular, I think) for a few years, and his decline is a lot slower than expected. His "default setting" has held reasonably steady over the past year. Losing Mom in October might have given him license to decline the rest of the way, but the only real difference I see is that his bad days are worse than they were. He's fighting it, and maybe that's what slows the decline. He's 87 now and it wouldn't surprise me to see him reach 90 with at least some faculties intact.
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It is difficult to assess as the disease is impacted by other factors including conditions she may have that exacerbate the dementia. If she has a crisis of some sort that puts her in the hospital her disease progresses due to the event and often difficult to rally back to where she was. Taking 10 steps backwards and 2 steps forward. It does depend what stage she is in and it is my experience that the disease progresses and may stay in one stage for a number of years but will eventually progress. It's very disheartening to see our loved ones lose their memory.
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We think my Moms started after here operation for bladder cancer. Then she has been in the hospital 3x in 3 yrs. First, head injury, second, graves desease, and last dyhdration and renal failure. Thyroid is a contributing factor. My Mom has a room to herself with a bath. She has a hard time remembering where the bathroom is. Right in front of her chair.
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My 92-year-old mother was diagnosed in March 2011, has been in a nursing facility for about a year and a half. She had issues with aggression in the first one and the level of care she has needed and gotten at a second facility includes heavy medication to control her moods. She seems now to be almost sleep walking. She cannot stay on a telephone call, she recognizes few people that she used to know, including me, cannot even comprehend that she is going to be a great grandmother this month. I don't know whether this is the medication or the general progress of her vascular/Alzheimer's dementia. I wonder what her state will be in a year. A friend's mother ceased to speak as a general rule and vocalized with sounds for months and months toward the end of her life. I just hope it will not come to THAT. I think what I have described is the final stage in Alzheimer's but maybe only the beginning of the final stage. I to wonder how long this can go on.
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My Mum has vascular dementia and was diagnosed last June which they now say they think is mixed dementia. At first they said it was mild but she has deteriated quite rapidly and now is unable to look after herself properly. We have a care package in place and they do everything for her. She is mobile and goes out and about everyday some days she is worse than others and she has gone from a size 18 to 12 in 9 months we struggle to get her to eat properly. She is 74 and I think she has had this longer than we realised. It can be hard to judge as her doctor has said she has learnt skills in getting by and can appear to be very plausible I think that can shroud the dementia.
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We brought my mom to live with us two years ago when her dementia became a problem and we weren't sure that she could take care of herself anymore. We started seeing signs of it around 2008, 7 years ago and had urged her to ask her doc about it. At the time, she lived with my uncle, her brother. She was diagnosed with mild dementia in 2010, when she was 87. She is now in moderate dementia, at 92. I think she is progressing rather slowly also, at least from what I've heard from others. Her short term memory is gone; she doesn't remember to bathe unless I remind her; she has no idea what the remote is for or how to work the television; and has no clue how to make herself something to eat. I'm hoping we can continue to keep her here, but I'm really not sure. It just depends on if the disease continues t progress this slowly.
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cindyoh...thanks for the hug. I, like you, am in my 60's and had to give up full time work to take care of mom. I do housekeeping on the side when she is in Adult Care. Like you also, this is NOT the life any of us thought it would be. I hope I NEVER have to put my children through this. It's hard in every way. I have started paperwork to put her in a board and care home. Long process that paperwork. There are days when it feels like forever and I can't imagine that it will go on for her or myself too much longer. In the dementia state of mine, it's like it just happened yesterday. In mine, it has been an eternity.
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My Mom is 91, in an ALF now after a one year with me, however she has had dementia for the past 10 years and according to ALZ.org, about stage 5 Alzheimer. The most noticeable trait is that she is unable to process information. There is no short term memory and if she does remember, it is what she processed. The disease destroys the communication factor, so to all on here, it's best to validate what they processed to help with their recall of previous conversations.
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Helping with kindness and structured activities plus 5 days per week of adult day care have helped my wife enter her eight year of AD. She is fairly stable, drug-free and a joy to be with.
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cindyoh...my mom sounds very much like yours. She's got vascular dementia/alzheimers since '03 when her husband died and she had a stroke. She, now, is very foregetful and experiences good and bad days. Sundowner's is sometimes worse. When it is, I think this is it. Then she will come up slightly and level off for awhile. She is 83. I think you are right when you say it can go on for 5-10 more years---God forbid!
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I've seen the same in my husband. There are times when I think I am the one with the problem, then something happens to jolt me into realizing he is still suffering from Alzheimers, just that it comes and goes in different degrees.
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I can identify. Mom has stayed stable more or less for a few years with some ups and downs. We had actually placed her in a memory care unit for a total of 15 days in December, where they of course diapered her. She didn't do especially well there and long story short (I'd been let go from a job), we brought her back home where I'm now paid to take care of her. No more diapers. She doesn't remember anything about those 15 days, she says, and it's as though it never happened. I honestly think she would have adjusted to memory care but for the roommate situation, lack of workers there, and it was a dismal place for the money it was costing. Her dementia started back before 2003, when dad died, and it's been a slow downhill course for her. She is very mobile and can get up easily when she falls, still goes to the john with few accidents and feeds herself, dresses and showers now with help, sleeps relatively well for most of the night, but memory and sense of direction are totally shot, vision worsening. Sundowning is awful some days (and why they call it sundowning confuses me, as she can be very out of it all day and all evening sometimes). She can have extra bad days during allergy season. She's 80 and I do believe this could go on another 5-10 years. Who knows?
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Overall, the older the person gets A.D., the slower it progresses. Some people get it in their 40's and 50's - usually decline is rapid. Someone getting it in their 80s it is slower. My mom started getting AD when she was 80. However, she never started wandering until 85. I think it comes in waves, but decline is definitely there.
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Dementia progresses, but it can progress very slowly. It can remain fairly constant for a few years and then gradually decline to another plateau. Or after being constant the decline can be sudden.

It is possible that a big stress, such as the loss of a loved one, can trigger a decline, but as far as I know it does not cause dementia. Dementia involved damage to the brain, such as plaques, tangles, abnormal protein deposits, atrophy -- a physical change that can be clearly identified upon autopsy. While science is still searching for what causes this kind of damage I haven't heard a theory that it is caused by grief.

It has been three years since the diagnosis. Has she been following up with the same doctor? You may want to ask for another evaluation. or even to see a different specialist for a second opinion. Even if you get a confirmation of dementia, that doesn't mean it won't stay at this level for quite a while yet.

My husband had Lewy Body Dementia for 10 years. He dived in at the deep end, having the most severe symptoms the first year. Then some things improved and he stayed at a pretty functional moderate level for 7 to 8 years. His final year included decline, particularly in the physical realm. I remember asking his neurologist, Are you SURE he has LBD? and the doctor was absolutely sure. His diagnosis was confirmed with an autopsy.

I'm not sure what kind of dementia my mother has. (It is not LBD or Alzheimer's). She has had it, starting with mild cognitive impairment, for 5 or 6 years. It got gradually but noticeably worse. She has been in a nursing home for a year now and seems to be mostly stable. Once in a while she seems extra confused and my sisters and I think, oh-oh, here we go with a decline, but then the next day she is back to baseline.

This is a long way to say, "Each case is different."
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As I have often read here, if you've seen one, you've seen one. Though there are many commonalities, each case is unique.

My mom has really hit a plateau but it is a result, I believe, of better meds.

Good luck!!!!!!!
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My boss' wife had Alzheimer's for 15 years... for the first few years she was able to keep on working but someone else had to do the business bookkeeping as she found dealing with numbers more and more cumbersome. Then she would start to forget client names, etc. thus she decided it was time to retire. Not long after that she would forget her children's names. The disease was progressing. Now that was her journey... others could have a different journey.
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Barb, I will say that some forms of dementia do progress faster than other forms. My mil has vascular dementia and we have known it for probably 10 years. She has lived with us for seven, due to her making some really stupid decisions that we recognized as not something that would get better. Plus her general health was declining and she was having trouble managing the house and the day to day activities. We totally expected her mental decline to be much faster than it has been. She seems to have hit a plateau and has been there for several years. She no longer takes Namenda or Aricept because of the side effects and the fact that they are not effective after a few years (how many years is up for debate).

Anyway, all that is to say, yes. The progress can be slow. There are many causes of dementia, Alzheimer's Disease is just one.

You can take her to a geriatric neurologist for testing. Talk to her GP about this.
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