We asked a friend of our Mother's who was our Mother's accountant and aware of her estate value to help us support our Mother as an International contact. We were informed by persons seeing our Mother at the facility and long-term friends that they felt our Mother was being manipulated by this person. In addition her PT (Physical Therapist) also divulged this information to us stating the sudden urge to help our Mother more than anything. We kept receiving emails from our Mother telling us that she felt a burden to us, this previously was not mentioned to us before her admittance into a facilty then the accountant divulged things to us that our Mother had said mean things about my Husband behind his back, these things not true but did come as a complete shock to us to learn.
The new POA of our Mother and the accountant took our Mother the last Eleven months of her life to change her life estate into their names. during a time she had been admitted to hospital ER in beginning of April 2019 and by the end of April 2019 she transferred our parents life estate to two persons never previously that close and not involved ever in in her caring.
We also found out that our Mother had her telephone taken away from her for over Month over the Christmas period, by the time she received it back she was unable to use the phone as she was too fragile. No reasons given by the POA or friend, thus, making it hard to make contact with her from overseas. Our Mother given a pay as you go phone which could not make international calls preventing her from speaking with her Son overseas. We previously had made contact using FaceTime and email and this all suddenly stopped. A person we asked to call the number confirmed that the friend accountant answered it immediately saying she did not know that it worked. She was suppose to be supporting our Mother and it took her over a month to get her the iPhone repaired.
What would you do in this situation?
I am sorry that you are having such a hard time and everything that happened, but you guys should have come to her when you saw this stuff happening. You can't blame others for what you perceive was done. You don't really know because you didn't show up when all of it started, that was the time to do something.
I know that sounds harsh and I am sorry, but you have to let go and come to terms with the facts of the situation. You chose to not come to her when you knew things were problematic, for whatever reason, you can't now make that right. Let her rest in peace. She was old and sick, it happens quickly for some and others linger for years, be happy she didn't have to live in the misery for a decade.
thank you for you answer, though I did not say we did not go to her.
Undue influence is abuse, weather a person is here or not, its abuse. So leaving a situation like this allows for makes way to harm others, especially when inevitably those persons are in a position to abuse professional powers of public trust by being an accountant and who people should trust.
Making way to manipulate, abuse elders who are elderly, confused and at a time of sickness is a cruel act. Those who engage in this acts are dangerous. We must highlight these acts, again to ensure those persons are watched closely in their professional duties to protect all in our communities.
it is also a criminal offence and any crime which has been witnessed and identified needs to be reported. Private investigators are the start of this case collecting data, we cannot just let this go! Its a crime!
Money does not Come into it, its the trust which has been broken and to a vulnerable person , we all have a moral & legal duty to keep The vulnerable safe from predatory Acts.
I think it is clear to all that my Husband lifetime of guardianship to both Parents and his Moms caring was suddenly removed as our Moms POA of care because we were investigating a fall which occurred In the facility, two days after a 30 days notice. Two days after whilst looking into a medical facility to transfer our Mom too because our request for medical evaluation whilst we were our Moms POA of care was ignored by the RFA executive Director we received notice our Mom was staying and we were no longer permitted to ask about our Moms caring. We were due to go out February to take our Mother out of the facility back to her home until we found her the right facility.
The relative never previously that close to our Mom and the accountant took our Mom to sign legal papers whilst she was in ER and sick, they also made it so she could be contacted on her iPhone she knew how to use and was unable to contact her son. The facility also failed to contact her son per facility contract in an emergency situation.
There was an awful lot of bad going on here and is the reasons why I asked advise.
we all have a duty to highlight situations where manipulative acts are evident acts will harm others. In addition, situations which will help others understand how a very bad situation can occur.
Since reporting these incidents to The facility head office through investigative / discovery work, there are two positions available at this facility for Executive Director and a ATI . These positions became available two days after the investigations concluded through facility compliance office. I suspect non compliance within this facility and if this is the case, it helps me sleep better at night knowing elders living there will be safe under new management. We will see what the outcome will be,
To date we are very happy with the outcome of our complaints & and are glad that we have taken steps to highlight what occurred in our situation.
Preventing a persons getting the right care for a parent is cruel and unethical. Discriminating against persons for working overseas is also morally wrong. Abusing powers because they are overseas is also manipulative.
Our case continues in!
Hope this never happens to anyone else here!
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/whilst-investigating-a-fall-at-desert-view-senior-living-our-poa-status-was-removed-460042.htm
In any case. Your best step forward now starts with a consult with an Elder Law attorney and with any dates, facts and documents you have.
I contacted the facility and it seems as though they have taken some positive steps within this facility. I think the facilty would be better under new management. One cannot blame the facility but the responsibility lies with those who do not comply to company policy and procedure and are not competent to be in such a position.
PI’s involved and the matter is in discovery stage, it would seem we have a case for undue influence with what we have provided.
thanks for the help!