There is a new article in the latest Wall Street Journal about families traveling with dementia patients. If anyone else on the forum reads this, I would like to know their thoughts on this topic. I'm unsure about how I feel about this. It seems to be more for the families' benefit to make memories and such. I don't know how much good it does for the actual dementia patient or if it just adds more stress for them. May it even lead to a set back? Of course, since this is the WSJ it is more geared toward wealtier families who can travel with assistance and several family members. Many on this forum can barely pay for home health care, etc. How do forum members feel about this topic. What are your experiences or pros vs cons?
She got mad because the three of us were talking above her head and she couldn't see or understand what we were saying from her wheelchair. Which we had to push all over the ship and up and down ramps when she insisted we get off in a port she'd already visited multiple times. We had to plan logistics, like not being in halls when throngs of other passengers were trying to get to the dining room or an event. They didn't care that we were overburdened, and sometimes they'd just push ahead of us and scramble around us to get in the elevator that we were waiting for, leaving us to wait even longer. The small bathrooms were difficult. We could only sit where the wheelchair could go, such as the back of the theater and an assigned dining room space where we wouldn't be in the way of other diners. She needed all three of us, and we all had many chores. One person couldn't have done it alone.
I would never do it again. Lots of things happened that I won't get into here, but the three of us agreed that we would never do it again! There was no help from the crew, nor was there anyone on the ship to stay with people who needed a sitter so that their roommates could enjoy time away from caregiver duty.
The time to travel with LOs is before they get sick. As for memories, mine are clouded by the difficulties. Mom enjoyed herself and never had a clue how hard it was for us.
My husband adores the kid and is calm most of the time, but now sleeps a lot during the day and wanders at night. Sometimes he tries to get out, but at home we have security doors and keep them locked. Also, he occasional goes to the bathroom in the weirdest places.
I have asked the in-laws to lock all the rooms except the room in which we will stay and a bathroom, and I will take along our carpet cleaner. The trips back and forth will be interesting, but I can handle them. What terrifies me is the stay. I am looking forward to the discussion on this topic for possible hints.
Your daughter needs to be a grownup. She's not in a bind if she finds someone to take care of her daughter. That's her responsibility as a parent! Mommy and daddy, especially with daddy so sick, shouldn't be expected to jump in and fix this. There are plenty of reliable people who babysit. Why not a neighbor who can let the child sleep on their couch on short notice or come over to stay in daughter's house while daughter is in the hospital?
On such a trip, you'd already have enough to worry about with a peeing wandering husband. You don't need a two-year-old on top of that! Locking all the doors, and then where is kiddo? In a locked room? What if husband figures a way to get out and you have to go look for him? Do you leave the child alone in the house? I hope not.
Please tell daughter that dad's health issues make it impossible for you to carry out this nutty plan. He might even have a cognitive setback from being out of his familiar home. Ask daughter to send you pictures of the adorable newborn, and leave the visit for another time.
She really enjoyed herself, and I believe it was probably the last time we will be able to do something like that with her. So it's something we all will treasure. Only YOU have an idea of what your LO can and can't handle! If you think you can make it work, it can be rewarding for all.
I feel it was misleading and encouraging people to take these trips without exposing the reality of dealing with dementia. I don't think it was realistic for most families.
https://www.elitecruisesandvacationstravel.com/upcoming-dementia-friendly-cruises.html
im not going to say it’s impossible that dementia pts and their families cannot enjoy an occasion like this. But it’s going to be expensive beyond the substantial base fee. Beyond a couple hours, there’s no caregiver respite. Staff is available for an extra and likely substantial charge to watch your loved one beyond that.
I do feel for Bruce Willis (I actually live in a town next to where he was raised). Not long ago there was something on how hard it was for the family to deal with it and I am sure it is. Watching a love one die little by little. But...they have money to supply him with the best 24/7 care. I would have loved to gave a night aide so I could have slept thru the night. Mom nor I had the money for that.
Ah, yes. Family memories.
I was a caregiver for a long time to many people with every kind of dementia. They do not do well when there is disruption to their established daily routine. No one should be taking them any place so far away that they can't have them home within an hour if they need to. You're not going to be making happy memories taking a senior with dementia on a family vacation. They are going to ruin everyone's time and it won't be their fault. Families can make local memories with their loved ones that have dementia. Families need to have common sense here.