My mother went to a rehab facility after hospital stay. During her stay she had chest pains and went to the ER. They found 3 blockages and fixed them. She then went back into the rehab facility/SNF. She was supposed to be discharged Wednesday. My father went to the facility and agreed to private-pay for a month. However, he did not return with payment and is not returning their phone calls.
I spoke with him yesterday and this was what he said
His attorney advised him to not pay and not to have contact with them.
The facility would have no choice but to keep her. He also asked me not to have any contact with the nursing home and if I did not to tell them anything.
My father has been her caretaker for the last year-and-a-half due to a leg amputation. He wants to put her in a nursing home permanently so he does not have to care for her any longer.
He has been working with an attorney to separate the assets and whatever else needs to be done legally so that Medicaid will pay for her to be in the nursing facility.
All legalities should be finalized next week.
My mother was okay with staying another month so she could get physical therapy with her leg.
As of yesterday, she is extremely frightened and scared of what's going to happen to her because they have not heard from my father. Because of the unknown, and his lack of response, now she wants to go home.
Basically he is not going to pay and just left her there.
I also have a power of attorney for my Mother's medical and financial.
My question is:
What are the options for the SNF if he doesn't make the payment today and he refused to tell them anything? Which I already know, he will not. From an SNF standpoint what happens to my mother?
Are they legally obligated to keep her? Do they contact legal officials such as social services etc?
If pick her up and take her to her home, well that make me legally responsible for her care?
Once all the legalities are finalized early next week, and if she is home and does not want to go back once Medicaid is setup to psy. Can he force her to return to the SNF against her will?
If not, what happens if he simply leaves the house and refuses to care for her?
I realize I have lots of questions, but if you could give me the legal answers to the above I would appreciate it.
Should I inform the SNF that he has been advised by his attorney not to make this payment and all legal paperwork will be done early next week so Medicaid will pay? Are they legally responsible to keep her if I tell them what's going on?
What options does the SNF have if no one picks her up today?
Is there an organization or person that I can speak with that can advise me on what to do?
Thank you
My eldest daughter has MY POA; my husband who is also her stepfather has POA for him as well, and I think for my ex and my ex's wife as well; it's because she is level-headed and has ALL of our best interests at heart. And in an situation like the one described, she would be ahead of the game, if you know what I mean.
Our OP does NOT appear to be ahead of the game.
In the situation described, it sounds as though the mom knows that her daugther has Mom's best interest's at heart and that there is some suspicion about dad. Which is why I suggest that the daughter get a lawyer for her mom, separarate for her mom.
This is certainly a tangled web. It very much hinges upon what "dad's" intentions are .
I so hope this turns out well for the Mom.
Here is what will happen with the SNF. They will threaten. They will ask for medicare or medicaid extension through Social Services, which they may get or may not get. Moot point because the cost will likely not be a lot more than private placement care.
Your father is doing the correct thing with the assets. This is what must be done now and it needs professional help. Your Mom is beyond what he can do in care and beyond what YOU can do in care. The SNF will say and do anything to THREATEN you and to get SOMEONE/ANYONE to get your mother. You simply say no one can now physically of mentally take on her care and she will require placement and they should get their Social Workers busy with that immediately. They will say "Impossible because of Covid". That is end of conversation. Your father is correct. Do not speak with them. And of course you CAN speak with your mother. They have no right to block your calls.
Let your father alone. This is hard enough for him to take care of this. Offer him your support and love. Unless you suspect there is some nefarious thing afoot here, this is exactly how it should work.
The SNF cannot do an unsafe discharge. The worst they can do is bill your dad and her, and if they don't pay ruin their credit. It is unlikely they NEED credit at this point. That is the ultimate worst. They can place her if they can find placement. That won't be easy.
As a nurse all my life that is my opinion. Wishing you luck. Sorry for all the pain and confusion. Leave this to Dad and the Lawyer. Covid will make it all worse.Sorry; can't be helped.
I get that the dad is totally stressed; per the OP's profile, the mom has dementia (in addition to the physical issues that were presented). I totally get why and how the dad may need to step away from caregiving. But the OP has an obligation to make sure that her mom's best interersts are being looked after.
In the end, it depends upon how much the OP trusts her dad.
Tell the facility that it is an unsafe discharge and you need guidance.
If you take her home, I assume you mean to your house, you just accepted the situation as your very own. Think long and hard before you go there.
Your dad can no longer care for her by himself, don't try to force him to do it. The stress of caregiving is more than you can imagine, he has reached his limit and he can become a statistic if he is forced into being her hands on caregiver.
Tell your mom that she just has to trust her husband and do her best with physical therapy and give it some time. Don't tell her that she is never going back to her house, let it play out with her while you deal with the financial situation as her legal representative. You can't really tell them anything because you don't know what is going on, but starting the Medicaid application will help calm the facility down.
Please consult an elder attorney ASAP.
Keep us updated.
Putting that aside, your father has the right to step away as a caregiver when it becomes too much, you need to figure out what kind of care your mother needs and how you can best provide it.
I sure hope that this is an elder are attorney who knows what he's doing.
There are some states in which "spousal refusal" is an accepted legal technique. I hope yours is one of them. You might want to Google that term.
https://ohioseniorlaw.com/medicaid-101-part-8-spousal-refusal-or-just-say-no/#:~:text=Under%20Ohio%20law%2C%20spouses%20have,the%20spouse%20seeking%20Medicaid%20eligibility).
The other sticky wicket is that YOU, as POA for your mom, have an obligation to do what SHE wants done financially.
Does your mother have access to her accounts that she can share with you? Do you trust your father? Does your mother? Or does mom need her own lawyer?
OP needs a consult with an elder law attorney. Hopefully she can get one when she tells them it is an emergency.
There is the site AVVO.com that she could ask her questions as well and maybe get a quick response.
Do not pick mom up.