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Up until this fall, DH and I would occasionally have good friends over for short visits or we would travel to meet them somewhere. Afterwards, he always expressed pleasure with these events even though he hadn't engaged much during them.



DH is now declining rapidly. Recently with his son and DIL, he could only handle 45 minutes and the first time he spoke up, he asked to go home. A few weeks prior to that, his best friend was visiting and DH defecated in his pants.



We have a few other friends who have expressed an interest in visiting and I love them for it. I am, however, concerned that they might be disturbed by his decline or we may have more accidents. I am also thinking that I would like them to remember DH as he was rather than see him at a stage where he doesn't remember their visit anyway. I welcome your advice / experiences with this stage in the dementia journey. Thanks.

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Thank you. I especially appreciate your advice to be honest with friends.
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Anyone with dementia does better with routine and with as little disruptions to that routine as possible. And yes that includes visits from family and friends.
So like already said, keep any visits short and sweet so hubby can get back to his routine where he feels safe and comfortable.
And if your family or friends don't like it or understand it, well that's on them and not you. Anyone that truly cares for you(and him)will understand that you're now doing what is best for your husband and not them.
Wishing you the very best as you travel this road with your husband.
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I would explain this to any and all with as much honesty as you did here, and as much brevity. After that it is in their hands and your own as to how much "company" you can handle and how much they are willing to acknowledge the way "things are now". I sure wish you luck. You got this; you just told us in perfect manner the facts as they are.
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Let friends visit.
You set the time of day and the length of the visit. Leave that flexible in case he is actually enjoying the visit and does not seem agitated.
Prepare in advance.
If he is on somewhat of a bathroom schedule make the visit after that.
Before guests arrive bathroom check. If need be change briefs (pull-up type or tab brief..aka "diaper")
People are aware that "accidents" happen.
I have to wonder who are you trying to "protect" from what I assume is embarrassment? You, your husband or the guests?
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