My sister has POA, and lives in my moms house. This will be their fourth trip out of town. Niece plays volleyball and is constantly in tournaments (out of town). Sister, brother n law, and the niece go on these trips, nephew (20) stays behind.
First time the care giver stayed, (I'm sure that cost a fortune). Since then they've narrowed it down to me coming during the day, and the "help" staying the night.
This weekend they are leaving again, and mom called and asked me to stay with her. Said the "help" can't work. Yeah right cost too much money at $20.95 per hour, I know the real deal.
Problem is I already told my mom that I am having a yard sale this weekend. I've been preparing for it 1 1/2 weeks, organizing, making signs and pulling out old stuff. On top of that I have to pick up my youngest son from his restaurant in the wee hours of the morning.
Now I'm in a bind. Talk about manipulation.
Seems you know the answers. You know what kind of character your sister has, and you've worked in law enforcement long enough to know how these things go... What are you asking us for, that we haven't already told you? I thought you had some "things in the works" concerning your mom's affairs? I say, trust your instincts, and follow through! None of us can guess what's going on any more than you can. Goodness, none of us like dealing with negative things, but taking responsibility for what needs to be done is better than hopeful and wishful thinking. Are you just hoping it's not going to be bad? Or that your sister will do right? Or you just don't want to confront her? What are you waiting for? We've already given you our opinion more than once. I guess it comes down to this: you moved there to help your mom, (after living elsewhere), right? What are you doing? Your sister got POA away from you, and you say you don't want it? What more do you expect us to say? Not really sure what you are looking for here... You either confront this, or continue doing nothing, wondering and imagining all sorts of things. I thought we covered that a long time ago. We can't fix this for you. The ball is in your court.
Aparently sis called mom because mom has called 3 times. On the third call I explained to mom that I will not discuss the situation with her anymore, from now on I will only speak with sis. I explained that it is not moms place to arrange care for herself, that it is sis's responsibility.
If my landline keeps ringing, I'm gonna take it off the hook and turn off my cell.
SS yes I had started working on some things but I started getting depressed all over again and didn't like that feeling, still don't. Now it is imperative that I take action.
Naheaton, Pirate, and Beta Thank you for your input.
Way to go girl! Your sister now has POA and all the responsibilities that come with it. She got what she wanted. But she can't have her cake and eat it too, and still dump everything on you. No doubt she'll try to lay a guilt trip on you with "But mom asked for you." Not an option!
Go ahead with the yard sale, pick up your son, and start living and loving yourself again. You've already sacrificed enough.
-- ED
Thank you one and all and I certainly am still on cloud 9.
Also, POA does not mena you have to take care of a person physically all by yourself. I have both medical and durable POA for my 78 year old mother who is in a rest home. Right now I'm cleaning up 6 years of financial stuff kept secret by her and my 86 year old step-dad. Thank God, my step-dad does not have POA. I visit my mother, keep a sharp eye on the nursing home staff, make sure she gets the medical care she needs, pay her bills, keep in touch with her long term health care insurance as well as I've made sure to collect all of her important legal and financial papers which includes her will, etc. I'm on disablity myself and so is my wife plus we are raising teenage boys. Neither I or my wife could do anything physically in terms of caring for my mother, but I can use the POA to make sure she is safe, she is cared for and protect her money from people who have already tried to get some from her, but her doctors declared her incompitent last May and put those statemens on papers that are noterized.