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I plan to start putting out my own fires. By that, I mean that I am going to prioritize my own health and well-being. As soon as I became enmeshed (self-inflicted) in my parents’ care, I began to neglect my own health. I kept telling myself that I had to do “all the things” for them…and there are SO MANY things that come up daily. I found myself saying that I felt like I was just putting out fires all day long. I was doing that but not for myself. I’ve gained a ton of weight and I’m an emotional mess most days. I realize that I’m no help to anyone if I keep this up. So, I’m going to continue to support them as I can but I’m going to take the time and space I need to be well. Y’all feel free to keep me accountable.
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NeedHelpWithMom Dec 2022
Good for you! That’s a great plan to put in place. Your health should be a priority!
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Another major concern that caregivers need to be aware of is how caregiving affects us emotionally.

Many experience anxiety and depression. Exhaustion can turn into burnout.

Burnout isn’t just harmful to the caregiver, but also for the person that is in need of care.
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I wish that I would have known to research Parkinson’s disease more thoroughly long before my mother started needing more help.

I would have been more prepared knowing what I was dealing with.

She developed dementia later on and I had no idea of what that actually meant. I thought that it was something that people referred to when they spoke about someone being senile or slightly forgetful.

I didn’t think about caregiving in the long term. I kept pushing myself to get through it day by day.

It’s incredibly sad to know that often years go by before important decisions or changes are made.

Caregiver support groups are wonderful. I only wish there was some type of preparation class for caring for the elderly.

We need to be more aware of care providers such as home health, agency care, private care, assisted living, memory care, skilled nursing facilities and hospice.

Before we became parents there were parenting classes held in hospitals to prepare us for caring for our children.

How many of us are prepared to be caregivers? I know that I wasn’t fully prepared to take on such enormous tasks.
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mom2mepil Dec 2022
Needhelp, I SO relate to what you said:

"I didn’t think about caregiving in the long term. I kept pushing myself to get through it day by day."

It starts with the LO needing "a little help," and then one day you suddenly realize that you are now "living their life FOR them," because they are now completely dependent on you propping them up, minute by minute.

The insidious scope creep of caregiving is no one's fault. But I tell you what, the next time I am called upon to care for an elderly LO, I will know SO much more about what is coming and will make sure to bring in "the village" much, much sooner.
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