Hello,
I'm wondering if people on the forum can share experiences particularly on early signs of dementia.
I have no experience of it other than, reading some internet medical articles. All information seems to point to short-term memory loss being a main factor.
How did you differentiate short-term memory loss from forgetfulness? Is it the same thing?
What did you start noticing before it got to a stage where you thought you needed to talk to a doctor?
How did you discuss the situation with your loved one? About going to a doctor, was is hard? Did it backfire?
Does waking up late in the day any indicator?
Some medical articles talk about hearing problems and their connection to dementia. Do people on the forum think they are related?
How do you differentiate certain things from just getting old? And when do they start calling it dementia?
I feel like my mom is sound of mind when I'm talking to her, when she's doing things around the house, she still does these things herself, sews, gets dressed, and cooks. However, there are times where I feel she has lost sense of time. For example, if she's calling me from downstairs, she expects me to appear the moment she's called my name, not even waiting 5 secs before calling for me again.
When out shopping in unfamiliar places or stores with lots of aisles, I kind of feel like she needs to see me close by her; otherwise she looks a little lost.
There's other things like not completing one task before starting another, sometimes where the gas stove is involved. I don't know if this is just forgetfulness or anything to be concerned about, I've done silly things like this myself, I'm sure we all have. I was more worried on this particular occasion, where my mom did not smell anything burning or see the smoke coming out of the stove grill.
There are occasions where things get put somewhere and she does not remember where. So the house is turned upside down until we find it. It doesn't happen often.
At the present time I am putting all these incidents down to just getting older and forgetfulness, because as I'm getting older I'm forgetting a lot more than before. I guess the frequency of certain happenings plays a factor too.
To be honest, I'm clueless about signs to look for and was wondering if other folks could share some of these experiences, what you saw with your loved ones, when diagnosed with early stages of dementia and decide to seek some help from a doctor.
I understand this is a hard & sensitive topic, thanks to all.
Love & Peace.
What a wonderful question!
We usually don’t see it at first. My mom had Parkinson’s disease and later developed dementia.
We may not want to see the ‘little things’ because it’s a scary thought that our parents are experiencing cognitive decline.
So, we don’t even realize that we are in denial.
I had very similar experiences as you.
I was confused because every question that the neurologist asked mom in his office she got right!
Everyone said how sharp she was. She could hold wonderful conversations with others.
Yet, at home there were times when she acted differently. She admitted to me that she couldn’t remember things like before, but I was like you, I thought, well, she’s old and that it’s natural to forget some things.
Just like your mom, she expected me to be there instantly when she called. It didn’t even matter to her if I was in the bathroom. She wanted me that second!
There were a few other things that I look back on and say to myself how did I miss that?
I would tell her to not reach for something on the higher shelf in her closet. She was a fall risk due to Parkinson’s disease.
She would say to me, “Okay, honey. I won’t reach for anything. I will call you to come and get it.” I would say, “Great, mom. I am going to the kitchen to make your tea.”
I would go back to her room to ask if she wanted lemon for her tea, sure enough, she would be attempting to reach for something on her shelf.
So, I said to her, “That’s it, mom. I will move any items that you need on the lower shelf.”
Then she complained that she didn’t want me to rearrange her closet. It didn’t make any sense to me at the time.
I thought she was just being contrary at the time. Now I see that she was experiencing memory loss and confusion.
You are ahead of the game for seeing these signs. It’s confusing and disturbing to see changes in our loved ones. I wish you peace as you continue on your caregiving journey.
Thank you for your answer and taking the time to write back to me.
I hear you, regarding not wanting to see loved ones have problems of any kind, especially where the mind is involved. Everyone want the people the love to be the person they've known all their lives and it's hard to believe otherwise.
I share a similar situation to yours and it's good to know other can relate to the things I mentioned. I smiled when I read about your mom wanting you to be there the second she called you (sorry), but I know it's frustrating as well.
I relate when you asked your mom not to reach up for higher things in the closet and she does it anyway. I've asked my mom countless times not to lift heavy things, get up on a stool to reach for higher things. I told her to ask me if she needs help with anything difficult, but she just tries to do them anyway.
Thank you for your supportive answer, I relate to the things you've mentioned. It's sad to see any problems with loved ones. Thank you Need, for your wishes too.
Love & Peace.
It feels to me like your mom is exhibiting symptoms that are more than just old age. I'd have her doctor do a basic memory test to start with. It doesn't show up everything - like most of the things that were going on with my mom. It's a start and then ask her doc to refer you to someone to do a more detailed study of what's going on.
We didn’t figure out it was dementia until she was about mid stage. She was no longer keeping herself or her house clean. She developed crippling anxiety, and was losing weight from not making meals for herself.
If someone would to follow my hubby around they would probably say he has dementia, but he's been the absent minded professor all of his life according to his grown children. He will get the names of his kids all mixed up, even call the cat by one of their names.
He's never been good with directions, so he takes me along as I am his human road-map. Forget about using GPS on his cellphone, he needs landmarks, not route numbers.
As for your Mom calling your name from downstairs. I bet she did the same when you were a kid. Any time we step foot back into our parent(s) house, we are just the kids, and what do we know :P
For my Dad, I didn't see any dementia until he would call me in the evening. It was like he climbed into a time machine and went back to the 1940's. Then and only then did I know the dementia was knocking at his door in the form of sundowning.