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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Call Adult Protective Services(APS) and report a vulnerable adult living by themselves who needs help but is refusing it, and let them come out and do an assessment, and take things from there.
It certainly sounds to me like dementia. I was a caregiver for a long time and when the accusations that everyone is lying, then the stubbornness, and the agitation start up, it's dementia. Yes, it could be a UTI if the person is elderly, but it's usually also some kind of dementia with it.
You can put him into a care facility if your POA is active and it extends to healthcare decisions. Talk to the lawyer who drew up the POA documents. They will tell you. Just so you know.
In the meantime, this is wat you can do. Call his doctor and explain what's going on. Then call APS (Adult Protective Services) and go in person to the local police department to speak with them. Tell all three what's going on. That he will not allow the care he needs to be safe and healthy. Let them know that you will not be held responsible because he prevents you (his POA) from getting him the care he needs. Ask the police to do regular wellness checks on him a couple times a week. They will. Ask APS to come out to the home as well. They will and can see for themselves. You can also get yourself removed as POA by going to the probate court in the town he lives in and filling out some forms. I had conservatorship over someone which is even higher than POA. The person I had it for became too much for me to handle. I went to the court explained and was removed. The state then appointed someone.
After you've done these things and talked to these people, take a step back. Do the bare minimum for him. Unfortunately, many times there has to be a crisis like a fall or a hospitalization to get a person with dementia the care they need.
These are the ways you cover yourself because you don't deserve trouble. A person can only do what they can do. You're in a tough spot and I wish you all the best.
Is your PoA authority active? In other words, if you read the document does it say that it is "durable"? Meaning it was in force the moment it was signed? Or is there a "trigger" (springing) in which a medical diagnosis of sufficient impairment is first required?
If it is springing, you will first need to satisfy this criteria before you can make decisions in his best interests. If it is durable you can do that today, right now. You don't need his buy-in but you will need to figure out how to get a resistant adult to do what you are guiding them to do.
Does he live by himself and is now a danger to himself? He probably needs a physical exam by his doctor first. There are ways you can trick him into going and once there you can present your PoA paperwork and talk discretely with his doctor.
First and foremost check your PoA status to see what you are legally able to do at this point. You must understand that you will now have to manage things in ways that he will fight against, yet you must do them to protect him from himself. If you don't want to do this, you can resign your PoA and report him to APS. over and over until the courts assign him a guardian who will then transition him into a facility.
A POA has been given the POWER to act for someone, but is not compelled to act and is not responsible for the someone’s well being. You should not be “worried about getting in trouble” if you are not allowed to do what you think should be done, when you are prevented from doing it. If this is too difficult and stressful, perhaps consider renouncing the POA. In the meantime, it could be a good idea to contact someone appropriate (the doctor, Age Care etc) and let them know the situation. That protects you from being blamed for things that you think (know?) should not be ignored.
Are you the only person who is taking care of him? Is he early stages of dementia or something else? More people will pop up.. Trust their opinions, listen to them. What sounds best to you... we are all sorry you are going through this..
COVER YOURSELF. you can record it, or log it. If he is family maybe you can record it. Not sure how you'll get his approval to record it... people on this site will guide you with how they handled similar situations. For now, write everything down, date and time. When did it start?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
You can put him into a care facility if your POA is active and it extends to healthcare decisions. Talk to the lawyer who drew up the POA documents. They will tell you. Just so you know.
In the meantime, this is wat you can do. Call his doctor and explain what's going on. Then call APS (Adult Protective Services) and go in person to the local police department to speak with them. Tell all three what's going on. That he will not allow the care he needs to be safe and healthy. Let them know that you will not be held responsible because he prevents you (his POA) from getting him the care he needs. Ask the police to do regular wellness checks on him a couple times a week. They will. Ask APS to come out to the home as well. They will and can see for themselves. You can also get yourself removed as POA by going to the probate court in the town he lives in and filling out some forms. I had conservatorship over someone which is even higher than POA. The person I had it for became too much for me to handle. I went to the court explained and was removed. The state then appointed someone.
After you've done these things and talked to these people, take a step back. Do the bare minimum for him. Unfortunately, many times there has to be a crisis like a fall or a hospitalization to get a person with dementia the care they need.
These are the ways you cover yourself because you don't deserve trouble. A person can only do what they can do. You're in a tough spot and I wish you all the best.
If it is springing, you will first need to satisfy this criteria before you can make decisions in his best interests. If it is durable you can do that today, right now. You don't need his buy-in but you will need to figure out how to get a resistant adult to do what you are guiding them to do.
Does he live by himself and is now a danger to himself? He probably needs a physical exam by his doctor first. There are ways you can trick him into going and once there you can present your PoA paperwork and talk discretely with his doctor.
First and foremost check your PoA status to see what you are legally able to do at this point. You must understand that you will now have to manage things in ways that he will fight against, yet you must do them to protect him from himself. If you don't want to do this, you can resign your PoA and report him to APS. over and over until the courts assign him a guardian who will then transition him into a facility.
Is he your father or your husband/partner?
last dr appointment ?
new meds?
talk to family and his primary..
Is he early stages of dementia or something else?
More people will pop up..
Trust their opinions, listen to them. What sounds best to you...
we are all sorry you are going through this..
COVER YOURSELF. you can record it, or log it. If he is family maybe you can record it. Not sure how you'll get his approval to record it...
people on this site will guide you with how they handled similar situations.
For now, write everything down, date and time.
When did it start?