My wife Elizabeth is becoming harder to manage at home even with the help of an IHSS caregiver. She is 90 and has been blind and gradually losing physical capability for the last eight years. She is now barely able to stand with a walker and turn to sit in a wheelchair or commode. I am 82 now and less and less capable of handling her because she has become a dead weight. Two days ago I sprained my knee just trying to lift her to relocate her into the center of the bed at bedtime. And that was with the caregiver and I both lifting a sheet with which to lift her. I am afraid that she is nearing the point of needing full time nursing care since she is blind and incapable of doing much more than eating or drinking things handed to her. And I am less and less able to handle her toilet and bath needs when the caregiver is not here. Both of my knees are failing and, if i continue downhill I will be needing care myself which I cannot afford because I barely do not qualify for medi-cal and thus IHSS. She qualifies for medi-Cal due to her handicaps. However, I have not the slightest idea on how to begin the process of getting her into a nursing home and I don't even know whether her blindness and physical handicap qualifies her for medi-aid supported nursing home care. In other words HELPPPP. I need some professional guidance as to what to do next. If you can help or can refer me to someone who can help, please let me know.
I would call IHSS and get their recommendations. In fact, your careworker can help you to do this. Let them know it is no longer sustainable for certainly your wife to be home, but possibly you both need placement and assessment.
In the end a call to APS with report of both of the two of you as seniors at risk emergently is likely the way to go if there is no family, and I am assuming there is not, as they are not mentioned.
We, of course cannot know any details here. California will allow you to enter care on Medi-cal with a lot more assets (up to 100,000 I do believe) than any other state and with a much shorter lookback (2 1/2 years). You need social workers stepping in to help you now with what you cannot do on your own. APS will give you guidance and contacts and that's where you will start. As to qualifying, if you enter private pay you will get help with transferring that when the time comes.
I wish you good luck. Talk to your worker today and ask for referral to her supervisor, phone number or to the social services of IHSS. You are correct that this cannot be sustained long term.