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When I asked this question, in the back of my mind was what happened to my mother. She signed a DNR when she was in her mid-eighties. When she was 90, she clearly had dementia. She'd had some heart issues, so I thought her heart would take her out before the dementia did. Well, I was wrong. She was in and out of hospice for more than 2 years. Her heart kept ticking along. She died at 95 after five years of dementia suffering, almost unrecognizable as a person. The DNR didn't save her from that, although she thought it would if she developed dementia.
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Fawnby Oct 6, 2024
My mother had broken ribs when she was in her 40s. They took a long time to heal even though she had youth on her side. She had a cough at the time, and every time she coughed it was excruciating pain for her. Finally both the cough and the ribs healed. When she signed the DNR in her eighties, part of her thinking was that she didn't want to go through that again as an elderly person after resuscitation. She was hoping for a pain-free death.
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It’s time to do your dnr when you do your will. Which should be done when you are healthy and of sound mind.
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Gigabee Oct 5, 2024
There is a difference between a DNR and a Living Will. Research POLST forms as well.
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Thanks for asking this question. It reminded me of my mum making the decision to have a DNR in place, while she still had capacity, and made me realise that my stepdad hasn't talked about a DNR at all.

I broached the subject with him when I visited yesterday. He was clearly uncomfortable. I said that he didn't need to make any decisions right now, but I wanted him to consider it while he was in a position to.

I said that I thought a good option was to have it in place just in case he no longer has capacity in the future. I said that if he wants everything done to save his life now, knowing that he'll be able to deal with the outcomes of CPR, then he should state that. But to consider that if he does suffer some kind of cognitive decline, whether he'd be able to cope with pain and struggling to breathe if he doesn't understand why.
He felt better when I went through the options and explained that getting a DNR ready now, while he's in a position to do so, doesn't mean that his life wouldn't be saved by CPR, if necessary. He has a heart condition, so this is a real worry for him.

He felt that if he was no longer himself, that having CPR might not be a good option. He saw that the patients with dementia, who were in the same ward as Mum during her several hospital admissions, couldn't cope with pain and their confusion made it more difficult to care for them. He doesn't want to be in that position.
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