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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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My sister has lived there and witnessed his mental illness and my aunt is in denial. How do I get an emergency evaluation on him so he stops trying to kill my mom?
Call APS (Adult Protection services) and ask if someone can come and evaluate your Uncle. I would only do this if the house is your Moms. If the house is ur Aunts, then you may just have to move Mom. Not sure you have a right to call APS when the option is to move Mom. You can ask this question when u call APS.
If it's your mom's house and if someone witnesses him unplugging the oxygen (and knowing this isn't the first time) maybe call 911 to have him Baker Act-ed so that he can be removed? After all, what he's doing would actually kill her. But your aunt needs to know that he is an "unsafe discharge" and to absolutely NOT bring him back to the house or you'll call the cops on both of them re: Baker Act. Or eviction or restraining order. Perhaps your aunt has slid into cognitive decline and that's why it *seems* like she's in denial. She may be in dementia.
If it's not your mom's house I'd remove her to somewhere else immediately. Not sure if social services can help with emergency temporary placement somewhere. Hopefully your mom will cooperate. You can tell her it's just temporary -- it's ok to tell her a "therapeutic fib" in order to keep her calm and open to the change. She needs to not live in chaos. Wishing you success and peace.
Adult Protective Services is the agency that you would contact.
Just have a plan for moms care if you intervene. Because they can decide that she needs to be removed from the home and then someone needs to step up or the state will take guardianship to ensure her well being.
Have you actually seen problems or is this all what sister says? Have you asked your aunt what is going on? Have you spoken with your mom?
I wouldn't jump to intervention until you know, like laid eyeballs on the situation, talked with mom and aunt. Really investigate what is actually happening.
Edit: you will not be able to do anything about your uncle, everything will revolve around keeping your mom safe and she would be the one that gets removed from an unsafe environment. Because Aunt will say Uncle is fine, Uncle will say he is fine and mom has children saying she isn't safe. So they will remove her if the deem she isn't safe. Aunt is not going to lose her husband to take care of your mom.
Is your mom living with them? If so move her out. She is obviously not being cared for properly if your aunt can not keep her husband away from your mom. If she is caring for mom in your home or mom's home then you simply (ok, maybe not so simple...) you say "I am sorry Aunty Sally but Uncle Bert can not come with you when you care for mom."
If Aunt's husband does have a mental illness (other than possibly having Dementia himself) and if Aunt does not acknowledge the illness or is in denial about it it is best to find other caregivers for mom.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If it's not your mom's house I'd remove her to somewhere else immediately. Not sure if social services can help with emergency temporary placement somewhere. Hopefully your mom will cooperate. You can tell her it's just temporary -- it's ok to tell her a "therapeutic fib" in order to keep her calm and open to the change. She needs to not live in chaos. Wishing you success and peace.
Just have a plan for moms care if you intervene. Because they can decide that she needs to be removed from the home and then someone needs to step up or the state will take guardianship to ensure her well being.
Have you actually seen problems or is this all what sister says? Have you asked your aunt what is going on? Have you spoken with your mom?
I wouldn't jump to intervention until you know, like laid eyeballs on the situation, talked with mom and aunt. Really investigate what is actually happening.
Edit: you will not be able to do anything about your uncle, everything will revolve around keeping your mom safe and she would be the one that gets removed from an unsafe environment. Because Aunt will say Uncle is fine, Uncle will say he is fine and mom has children saying she isn't safe. So they will remove her if the deem she isn't safe. Aunt is not going to lose her husband to take care of your mom.
If so move her out. She is obviously not being cared for properly if your aunt can not keep her husband away from your mom.
If she is caring for mom in your home or mom's home then you simply (ok, maybe not so simple...) you say "I am sorry Aunty Sally but Uncle Bert can not come with you when you care for mom."
If Aunt's husband does have a mental illness (other than possibly having Dementia himself) and if Aunt does not acknowledge the illness or is in denial about it it is best to find other caregivers for mom.