I'm still feeling shaken as I write this. My father's memory has been getting worse recently, and he enjoys cooking. Earlier today, while I was at work, he accidentally left the stove on for TWO HOURS. The fire alarm was blaring, and the neighbors knocked on the door, but he didn’t respond. They called me, and I rushed home. Thankfully, I had cleaned the kitchen the day before, or the situation could have been much worse. He really values his independence and is generally good at taking care of himself. However, I can’t afford a caregiver or an assisted living facility. Does anyone have suggestions for kitchen monitoring devices that would allow him to continue cooking independently?
If the door and lock isn’t feasible, give him a mini-electric-oven and a microwave. If you want to use the gas hob, see if you can get a lock fitted over the gas connection, preferably outside, so you can turn the gas supply on and off but he can’t.
Your dad has lost cooking privileges. You must disable the stove and the oven. Maybe he can use the microwave.
He didn’t almost just burn your house down. He almost burned himself to death.
You are also going to lose your job if you keep having to dart home to save him.
You need to start looking at placement options.
Door Knob Cover & Stove Knob Cover, Child Safety Lock, Kid-Proof (Also Safe for Toddlers and People Suffering from Dementia)
It's time to remove all knobs off the stove, unplug it and limit his cooking to just using the microwave, and hope and pray that he doesn't put any metal or tinfoil in it as that too will start a fire.
It sounds like you may be in a bit of denial about the fact that your dad should no longer be home alone and if you can't be with him you need to either hire some full-time help with his money of course or look into having him placed in an assisted living facility, where his meals will be made for him and he will be kept safe and looked after.
Your dad will only continue to worse with his dementia, and I hope you'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe.
Do you have good homeowners insurance? Would it cover this kind of thing should it occur?
Please bear in mind that all cases of dementia get worse over time.
Others have flooded the house by leaving the water on for hours, or flushed silverware down the toilet causing major plumbing damage and so forth and so on.
This type of thing can end up costing you a lot more than aides or AL/MC.
best wishes
There is no way I would allow him to cook anything anymore, he obviously has dementia.
Remove the knobs and do not give him any access to a wrench, pilers or any tools. You are in denial.
And really check everything he could get into. So sorry 😞, but glad it wasn't to bad
I dont think dad should be by himself anymore. Time to hire a caregiver to be with him when you are at work or look into a memory care facility for him.
And like funkygrandma said below what if he puts something metal in the microwave? Very dangerous.
But he is now a danger to himself. At some point he may wander out of his house at night. He is on his way to needing AL or MC sooner rather than later. If he owns his home it should be sold to pay for the facility.
Does he still drive? If so, this certainly needs to be ended. If he has a car, it needs to be sold and insurance cancelled.
Are you his PoA? If not, does he have one at all? If no, then you should attempt to get him to an elder law attorney to assign someone. Make the appointment in the morning so he is "fresh". A good attorney will take him aside and privately interview him to check for "capacity" to make legal decisions for himself. The bar is somewhat low, so even people with mild dementia and memory loss can still be considered to have capacity.
Once his legal ducks are in a row, then take him for a cognitive/memory test with his doctor. If he doesn't have a PoA then focusing on keeping him "independent" in his home will not be energy that is well spent. He will need more and more assistance. Better to do it now than in a crisis.
I would not even trust him with a microwave. I had Moms taken out of her AL room. Will Dad remember no metal goes into the microwave? Will he know how long to leave something in. My Mom waited on Dad. She had to go help my sister. My Uncle dropped Dad off a sandwich wrapped in aluminum paper from the local sandwich shop. Dad had only used the microwave to heat up his coffee. Dad thru the sandwich in the microwave to heat up. Because his back was to the microwave he did not see the arc the aluminum was causing. It melted the plastic on the inside top exposing the fan. Dad had to buy another microwave. My Dad had no Dementia. A man from Church found his wife put her new hearing aid in the microwave. Asked why she did that she said "to heat it up it was cold".
There is no rhyme or reason to Dementia. Its very unpredictable. Your Dad needs a full physical to diagnose him. Below is a website for a stove lock.
https://iguardfire.com/
This isn't some just regular older Aging forgetfulness, or even the beginning of dementia, this is a danger.
So sorry
I'm full-time caregiver for my DH. He has dementia. I can guarantee you that if he were throwing paper towels on an open gas stover burner (for instance), and alarms went off while I was going for a walk (for instance), he'd have no clue what the alarm was or why it went off, nor would he answer the phone. Or if I had an alarm on the bathroom sink to go off if he'd walked away leaving the faucet on (happens daily), he'd have no idea what to do. The alarm would mean nothing to him, just as leaving the water on means nothing to him.
If your plan is to keep him with you there has to be a caregiver/companion with him while you are at work or he has to go to adult daycare. If a blaring fire alarm going off and neighbors banging on the door doesn't get his attention, it is not safe for him to be left alone anymore.
So take whatever his income is and use it to hire a caregiver/companion during the day when you are not there, or use it to put him in adult daycare during those hours. Other than putting him in a residential care facility, these really are the only safe options for keeping him at home with you.
He also turned on the clean function on the stove and there were plastic pans inside the over (lots of smoke). He called me but I told him to call the neighbor for the fuse box (he didn't know what that was) (I live 2 hours away). Yes, alarms were blasting. The neighbor saved him.
Once in an adult living apartment, he put the stove on to cook and walked away. The facility turned his stove off at the plug-in since there was smoke coming from under the door.
The trustee and attorney thought he was fine and refused to take him to the "doctor ordered geriatric testing psychiatrist". I live in oregon
For your situation, a microwave only might would work. Meals are alot better than the old fashioned TV dinners...........Then maybe have a special "cooking day" for cookies or something.....The stove should be turned off at other times...
Just a suggestion?????
My household had a similar situation happen yesterday. Makes me scared to leave him alone.